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I feel I have to apologise here for publishing a snippet in very bad taste. Just so you know I want no reads from you or ratings here it is

Michael Douglas has enrolled on a speed writing course....

He is writing his autobiography

saw the news in the paper about the bio - couldn't resist the comment. It's a wicked streak I can do nothing about except repent.

When the time comes look out in the lonely heart's columns for

F. Widow 49(!ed)Independent means. Likes Majorca, Welsh Countryside and LA. Seeks M sim. pos. 59+ for companionship (more if able) LA Beverley Hills area. Biggest virtue patience. biggest vice old men (Nursing experience)

You're wicked.

I thought that Welsh woman was married to comedian Jack Douglas though.

So that's where I've been going wrong. Last time I spoke to her, I said "Waahey! How's Alf these days? Has he still got that twitch?" She looked at me as though I was a looney.

You are one of few who remmber his character Alf Ipititimus
...........
in physics there is something called the zeta potential. (To do with colloidal particle charge - don't ask)

To measure your own zeta potential (which is defined as the likelihood of her getting her kit off for you)

z = ahf

where a is your age and h you health quotient which means how likely it is say for you to die within 10 years and f your fortune

the complication is that certain values are never seen so are irrespective of health or fortune. the zeta potential is zero below the legal age of consent. At 18 the health quotient or fortune has to be very high. The higher the age the more the higher the zeta potential. However after a certain limit the likelihood that you would live through the removal of the first piece of clothing becomes very low thus zeta potential chutes steeply.

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Quote: Erskin Quint

You're wicked.

I thought that Welsh woman was married to comedian Jack Douglas though.

So that's where I've been going wrong. Last time I spoke to her, I said "Waahey! How's Alf these days? Has he still got that twitch?" She looked at me as though I was a looney.

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Quote: Lynton

You are one of few who remmber his character Alf Ipititimus
...........
in physics there is something called the zeta potential. (To do with colloidal particle charge - don't ask)

To measure your own zeta potential (which is defined as the likelihood of her getting her kit off for you)

z = ahf

where a is your age and h you health quotient which means how likely it is say for you to die within 10 years and f your fortune

the complication is that certain values are never seen so are irrespective of health or fortune. the zeta potential* is zero below the legal age of consent. At 18 the health quotient or fortune has to be very high. The higher the age the higher the zeta potential.

However after a certain limit the likelihood that you would live through the removal of the first piece of clothing becomes makes zeta potential irrelevant for high ahf values. This is Lynton's paradox.

*although the chances of you receiving a visit from her in hospital for publicity reasons does increase
bugger used the bck button then edited!

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Quote: Erskin Quint

You're wicked.

I thought that Welsh woman was married to comedian Jack Douglas though.

So that's where I've been going wrong. Last time I spoke to her, I said "Waahey! How's Alf these days? Has he still got that twitch?" She looked at me as though I was a looney.

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