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Dear Spoofters,

How does one keep the other kids at school from calling you names?

For instance, my Siamese brother and I are always being called, "Four Eyes" but neither of us wear glasses.


-Dilly & Willy Longfellow

Dear Dilly and Willy,

I am sorry to hear your story but, sad to say, kids will always call names.

To 'vary' the name calling, wear glasses and then you can be called 'eight eyes'. If only ONE of you wears glasses you'll be called 'six eyes'. If one of you wears a monocle you'll be called 'five eyes'.

This will confuse the name-callers somewhat, as they will have to THINK and COUNT...but it should alleviate the pain the name-calling causes you.

You could take turns 'closing your eyes' then you'd be just like the others with two eyes.

If you can manage with one eye only, then they'll call you 'cyclops'.

Hope this helps.

Lady G.

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Quote: Bureau

Dear Spoofters,

How does one keep the other kids at school from calling you names?

For instance, my Siamese brother and I are always being called, "Four Eyes" but neither of us wear glasses.


-Dilly & Willy Longfellow

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...we had the same trouble...the kids all thought they were smart when they called us "Two Dicks"....guess we showed them when we gave 'em what for!"

Buck & Percival Pissgums

Conjoined Twins

I agree with Lady G.

Confuse the taunters.

That's also what old Lady Bigass, our fifth grade teacher, taught us at my school many years ago, when they called me Burro.

-Bureau

Just caught the Pissgums Twins remarks. I don't know which one writes.

I can see where a name like Pissgums would be a temptation for the kids., who would ordinarily overlook the fact that the two are Siamese twins.


-Bureau