Discussion Forum

I don't know about anybody else, but if I get some kind of symptom, I usually have a look on the internet.

I rarely visit the doctor; doesn't seem worth the effort for a bout of flu, a bit of dizziness or the odd spot of blood.

So I just look on the internet.

According to the available information, I've been dead since about 1997.

Now I think I've caught acute depression.

Bugger.

Regards

Skoob.

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Quote: Skoob1999

According to the available information, I've been dead since about 1997.

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While I am not actually a doctor, I believe this diagnosis is incorrect. You are clearly exhibiting symptoms of someone who is still alive.

Try going to a doctor. You don't have to step inside his office - just making it there of your own volition ought to provide strong evidence supporting my theory.

Write 2 snippets about aspirin and post them in the morning - that ought to help with the depression.

We can discuss payment terms later when you're feeling better.

Hmmm! Nurse Godiva speaking. If I feel a little 'depressed' I usually go to a 'body shop' and have the depression 'sucked out'. They have special tools you know.

I also know what you mean about being dead. I've been dead since 1985 and am being moved by 'strings'.

Skoob, try going crazy. It will bring the energy back.

You'll be writing 40-50 snippets a day. Talking to meerkats.

You'll be crazy.

But energetic!

I no longer use the internet for diagnosing illness after an unfortunate event using NHS direct.

I put in my symptoms and was told I was having a heart-attack, and needed an ambulance immediately. I got one, was taken to hospital and then required treatment for concussion after a nurse whallopped on the back of the head for wasting their time with a pulled shoulder muscle.

It's just not worth it.

I had a medical the other day. I accidentally got deregistered from my GP of thirty years. Possibly because I'd been once in all that time. So I re-registered at a different practice and they made me pee in a cup, tested my heart, blood pressure, lung capacity and balance, weighted me and measured me.

Apparently I've been dead for ten months, but I'm another person they can use to up their budget from the NHS so they took me on.

Iain

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Quote: Lady Godiva

I usually go to a 'body shop' and have the depression 'sucked out'.

So do I. You can tell if it's a classy place or not by counting the amount of tattoos the girls have.




They have special tools you know.

I know...

Does anyone know anything useful about Bipolar Disorder?

I think I may suffer from it.

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Quote: Monkey Woods

Does anyone know anything useful about Bipolar Disorder?

I think I may suffer from it.

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It's when you live in the Arctic but think you live in Antartica. Something to do with snow.

I went to the doctor and he told me I only had 24 hours to live. When I said I wanted a second opinion he told me I was ugly as well.

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Quote: Monkey Woods

Does anyone know anything useful about Bipolar Disorder?

I think I may suffer from it.

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MW:

Thats a condition where a person believes he or she is a bipolar junction transistor that has developed a short circuit.

Sounds like me.

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Quote: Fergus McCarthy

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Quote: Lady Godiva

I usually go to a 'body shop' and have the depression 'sucked out'.

So do I. You can tell if it's a classy place or not by counting the amount of tattoos the girls have.




They have special tools you know.

I know...

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Nothing like strapping on the ole tool bag and making house calls....

what will they all do when we're gone Ferg....no one will be left to
fit tight joints and countersink 'em.....

Morse (the hammer)