Discussion Forum

OK, ladies; I'm really new to dating on line and stuff. My old flame was snuffed out by a breath of fresh air that entered her ears, went through, and out the udder.

QM, charpa, Lady Godiva (presumably) and the rest of you wumins; I need help with a second grade teacher. Should I:

Tell her I own Hooters and will pay her well;

Tell her I'm a Momma's boy with nothing to lose-or live for;

Tell her I've never seen such large breastestess on a small woman before;

Show her my Bat Man jammies'

Kill myself on her door step in order to prove my love for her?

Hell, if you love me, you'll help me score with this chick.

Q: Best ways to score with a new chick Tell her I own Hooters 100% There have been 2 responses to this poll

Calm down there Frankie....no need for all this drama. Just be a good listener if you are on a 'date'...but don't put up with all the crap about her previous relationships.

Don't mention YOUR past relationships either.

Take her 'bowling' or something 'none threatening',like a darts match or ice-skating-depending on he season....even a pub quiz.

Avoid doing a 'police check' on her until after at least, 3 dates.

Have a shower before each date and DO NOT overdo the cologne.

A clean smelling body is much better than a 'dirty over perfumed one' and that goes for the 'ladies' too.

Do NOT go to the movies....not a good place to 'talk'.

No 'finger-foods' coz they make a mess and it is embarassing.

Don't talk about YOUR dead pets unless your 'dates' bring up 'their dead pets'....then it's OK to 'share'.

I am available for more advice if the above doesn't work out for you.

I mean this most sincerely.

Talk soon,

Lady Godiva

LG,

"Avoid doing a 'police check' on her until after at least, 3 dates."

So, I should NOT fess up about ... you know ... until the third date?

queen mudder, do you agree?

Probably shouldn't tell her I've fallen for both your's and qm's, avatars either, huh?

What a post. I was already smitten with your avatars.

Want to go on a spoof date?

There's a decent bowling alley in Hog Jaw.

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Quote: Lady Godiva

Calm down there Frankie....no need for all this drama. Just be a good listener if you are on a 'date'...but don't put up with all the crap about her previous relationships.

Don't mention YOUR past relationships either.

Take her 'bowling' or something 'none threatening',like a darts match or ice-skating-depending on he season....even a pub quiz.

Avoid doing a 'police check' on her until after at least, 3 dates.

Have a shower before each date and DO NOT overdo the cologne.

A clean smelling body is much better than a 'dirty over perfumed one' and that goes for the 'ladies' too.

Do NOT go to the movies....not a good place to 'talk'.

No 'finger-foods' coz they make a mess and it is embarassing.

Don't talk about YOUR dead pets unless your 'dates' bring up 'their dead pets'....then it's OK to 'share'.

I am available for more advice if the above doesn't work out for you.

I mean this most sincerely.

Talk soon,

Lady Godiva

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Hey, don't let the avatars fool you!

No..don't mention 'you know what' until at least the 3rd date IF you make it that far.

Lady G.

Also...I think Queen Mudder's a fella......could be wrong though.

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Quote: Lady Godiva

Take her 'bowling' or something 'none threatening',

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This is extremely useful advice. I'm going to try it out tomorrow.

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Quote: Lady Godiva

I am available for more advice if the above doesn't work out for you.

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For me as well?

Well Monkey - of course for you too!

Agony Aunt at your service!

LG

Don't tell my wife though!

She wouldn't understand.

Not like you do.

I think you're in good hands with Lady G. Stick with her Frankie. The rest of us know you a little too well and may just give you bad advice to throw you off and then laugh our butts off when you use it.

Just kidding. I agree no drama and listen, above everything else. I happen to know on good authority that your lady friend has some excellent stories. If you're yappin' all the time, you may miss something.

Charpa

Hello, Frankie.

As the resident lothario on this website (which is saying something), I would offer this advice:
Why don't you try going to a cemetery and digging up a woman?
Who knows, it could turn out to be a dream match?

Oh Jesus, thanks for teaching me my 'new word for the day' LOTHARIO....

I looked it up in the dictionary....but the first definition never said anything about them being 'successful' at seducing women...just that they enjoy trying it on......

Another definition said:

a successful womanizer; a man who behaves selfishly in his sexual relationships with women.

Hmm! Well - seems I've met a few Lotharios in my life and I just called them 'arse-holes' (in my MIND of course, because I don't use bad language really).

Lady G.

Frankie, before you go digging in the cemetry - read the dates on the headstones.....

JB,

It's been done. Ed Gein,I beleive.

But Anglefire.com has it all wrong. Ed dug up the women and then masturbated, he did not "masterbated."

I don't abuse my self; I amuse myself.

No, I need something far more dramatic. This is a second grade teacher, after all.

Maybe I should piss meself and cry.

Tell her you are a multi millionare with only months to live and no living relatives.

That should do it.

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Quote: Lady Godiva

Also...I think Queen Mudder's a fella......could be wrong though.

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I could be wrong I could be right
I could be black I could be white
I could be black I could be white
I could be white I could be black
Your time has come your second skin
The cost so high the gain so low
Walk through the valley
The written work is a lie

May the road rise with you

And may 'your God go with you' as a famous English celebrity used to say at the end of his show.

I believe it was Dave King with a piece of a finger missing....



Frankie, frankly, your avatar is bloody scary!

Lady G.

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Quote: Fergus McCarthy

May the road rise with you

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I love a bit of PIL, Ferg.

I was only playing that song in my head the other day, Fergus/Monkey!

Isn't that weird?

But, then again, we are the same person....

Frankie, lets just forget the whole digging up bodies bit then.

Lets just cut to the chase.
Literally.
You take your lady friend into the woods.
And chase her.
With a big rusty chainsaw.

She'll yelp and scream and then melt like butter into your hands.
Well, that's after you cook her over an open fire, of course.

Let me know how you get on.

Love and kisses
XXX

PS:Forgot to add some hugs
OOO

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Quote: Lady Godiva

And may 'your God go with you' as a famous Irish celebrity used to say at the end of his show.

I believe it was Dave Allen with a piece of a finger missing....

Lady G.

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