Discussion Forum

Give it a go, sound off, any topic will do.

Creative expletives encouraged, let's hear some new ones.

---

Quote: victor nicholas

Give it a go, sound off, any topic will do.

Creative expletives encouraged, let's hear some new ones.

---

Sounds like fun. I love the opportunity to throw around the f-word.

Would have enjoyed this Doc..

But (as per normal) haven't a clue about Mr Gibson and his rants..

Does he sleep with Cheryl Cole?

I'd have ended up doing Derek & Clive..

Yes

He sleeps with Cheryl Cole and Derek and Clive.

His wife has found him out and cleaning out his bank accounts.

There you have it.

---

Quote: victor nicholas

He sleeps with Cheryl Cole.

---

That's no big deal. Even I've slept with Cheryl Cole.

Now, if he's actually had sex with her, he's got me beat.

A Mel Gibson style rant. oh! I want to victor nicholas. However inhibitions bind me and politeness wearies me with its insistence.
But there is a certain female celebrity called Sha...Sha...
see I can't even bring myself to say her name, but at the moment she is acting like miss yo-yo knickers. Sha.. thinks she is being clever, I think she is being a fligging imbecile.
That was a Mel Gibson style rant done incredulously!

Females can do a Naomi Campbell rant.

How it really went down when Campbell received raw diamonds from Charles Taylor:

What? You want me to believe that these disgustingly dirty rocks are worth something? What do I look like to you? An idiot? They don't sparkle, they don't shine. Do you honestly expect me to put on a jeweler's loupe and inspect the damned things myself? Take a rag and wipe off the dirt so they at least looked presentable to the naked eye you buffoon!

On second thought, take these rocks back to whomever sent them and get me a suitable bribe before I knock that damned startled look off your face.

None of these are rants.

You fuckers don't know what a proper rant is. A proper rant doesn't just mean letting it all go! Fuck, no! A proper rant is where you go right for the bollocks, grab the fuckers, squeeze 'em and then give 'em an almighty fucking twist.

A proper rant doesn't just involve calling somebody a cunt - it involves walking towards them with a maniacal stare, jabbing a finger a millimetre from their face, telling the cunt that you're gonna fuckin' 'ave 'em.

Or you could always just sit down and have a nice pint and a packet of pork scratchings.

And a friendly chat.

Prefer the latter option meself.

Regards

Skoob.

That's not a fuckin' rant.

It's a fuckin' description of a rant!

Now a rant.. a genuine fuckin' rant..

Yer proper red hot fuckin' angry temper fuckin' tantrum of a rant..

Well..

It's like nuffink wot you've ever heard..

Yeah.. Got it!

It don't fuckin make you larf..

It makes yer hair curl

Oh shit..

OK .. Sneaked a smile.. 'Aving anuver go..

Right you fucking cunts..

You wanna know wot a fuckin rant looks like..

Stick yer fuckin ead in a mirror yeah..

take a fuckin butchers at wot makes people fuckin IRate..


Er.. sorry.. own up.. can't rant proper..

someone spit in my eye.

Maybe that'll do it..

That's not a proper rant either.

That's a Cockernee type rant.

Then when it all goes on top you start with the:

"Leave it aht mate! Leave it! Leave it!"

Of course, your proper ranter doesn't.

Your proper ranter goes in for the kill...

Truth be known CJ - I'm not very good at ranting either.

Fancy a pint and a packet of pork scratchings?

Now then...that Dennis Potter - some playwright he was...

Regards

Skoob.

Fuckin' Dennis Fuckin' Potter..!!!!!!!!!!

You pullin' me plonker?


Oh .. Got it.. you are..


Yup .. fell for it didn't I..

OK my round

Want anuver packit of acratchings?

Yeah. Alright.

Cheers mate.

'Ere - that Scorcese bloke's a good director innit...

No he aint..

Ee's a fuckin' cunt

Nah

Wot about Mean Streets an Taxi Driver?

Dead good they wuz.

I just got a pork pie hat like Johnny Boy aht o' Mean Streets but it's a bit small.

Wife reckons I've got a big 'ead.

Could be true. Fack all in it innit.

That there bloke off the Spoof.

They were doin' pork pie 'ats in TK Max..

'Bout a week ago..

Fit all sizes it said..

Er... Don't think I've ever seen a Scorcese film..

I've seen all the Busby Berkeley's though...

The wife got mine from Peacocks.

Sez it fits all sizes.

It dunt.

Norrif yer've gorra big 'ead.

Like wot I 'ave.

Busby Berkely - brilliant.

Best manager United ever had - until Fergie.

Once sent me a letter did Busby - when I were a nipper like.

Sup me Mam's place somewhere.

Regs

Skoob.

You mean you was in the same line-up as...

Ginger Rogers & Ruby Keeler?

Fuckin' hell.. well impressed..

Can you can still do the splits..

PS.. mustn't get caught natterin'

On Vic's rant thread..

Slip in a few nasties eh.. in case

Okay CJ

Mum's the word.

I wuz gonna send you a pic of me porky pie 'at.

But I need an aircut an' I avvent 'ad a shave yet.

When I goes an gits mesel orl tarted up an that, I'll consider it.

Otherwise you'll just 'ave ter wait till next week.

Leather coat, black trahsers, black sweatah, shades, an' me branny black porky pie 'at.

Look a right proper nattah wunni?

Fergeddit.

Skoob.

My Honoria's freatenin me wiv de shears..

Says I look like a fuckin' arf bald beatnik..

Accuses me of revertin' to type..

Just cos Juanita makes me wear beads...