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Forum Home / General Discussion / HALT! Open Letter To Colonel Juan's Fan Club
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Colonel Juan
El quien ose, sátirisa |
Dear Fans, If any of you want to tear my clothes off. Or even tear your own clothes off. Maybe wave your bra in the air: I'll be nipping down to Sainsbury's Chiswick this lunchtime. Front entrance. About ten past one. After that I might pop into The Tabard for a swift Merlot. If you form an orderly queue on the pavement, I'll find a moment this avo to nip out and sign autographs. Yes, I know there are only 15 of you. Which is why I can afford to send this personal message. What with the cost of Postage etc. Look here fans! Will you please make a LOT more noise. Plus READ my stories. Not enough of you are doing this. Do you have trouble reading? Other than Erskin, Skoob, Lynton and Morse - you're not doing enough for my career on The Spoof! Since 'we' topped the charts recently, your Colonel has composed an entire album of his very best tunes. My 'Isle Of Wight' LP is a brilliant piece of work. Somewhere between Sgt Pepper & Beethoven's 9th. So was yesterday's masterpiece the Humphrey Bogart rap. BUT WHERE WERE YOU ALL? Do you imagine CJ's gonna go on riting this shit for just 4 loyal twerps? I won't you know... OK.. You've been warned. Stop reading other crap! Read mine! Then tell everyone what you thought.. 1* OR 5* Carry on.. CJ |
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Lynton
Writer |
Petulance CJ !!! Tut tut!! Let's not get upset over a silly red haired spy.
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Skoob1999
Caretaker  Location: Out on a limb Registered: 5 Sep 08 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
Did he just call me a twerp?
That's what fame and fortune can do to people. He'll be knobbing Jordan in Aruba next. Bloody egomaniac... Regards The Quiet One. |
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Colonel Juan
El quien ose, sátirisa |
High time I organised my shower of a Fan Club! Most of the 15 don't even read me plays? Only four can ever be bothered to comment.. Not one of the girls has thought to demand sex What's the point? Bet Mick Jagger doesn't get treated like this!!! |
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Erskin Quint
Opium-eater  Registered: 15 Oct 07 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
Colonel,
Perhaps you could have a talk to armfeetandtoe. He's of a similar mind, I understand. It might encourage him to know even the greats have their anxieties. As do we all. C'est la guerre. |
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Charpa93
Writer  Registered: 17 Jul 09 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
But I paid you the highest compliment of all. I stole your words for my quote. Most people went to the literary greats for their quotes or made up some nonsense. I stole Coo...BANG! SILENCE. |
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Morse
-- --- .-. ... . |
these petulant banana dictators...next it'll be nationalization....ursurp other avatars, home pages, tits, vaginas, and cheese sandwiches, not to mention the fucking cat and my dog....meglamanianc BASTARD! Ah, lovely, I feel better.... makes up for MY lack of 'hits' as well...but I feel better anyway....! Will be over soon...will talk more then...Prick! BE THERE! Ha. Morse |
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