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A COP was sacked for performing his "party trick" at a police Christmas do - opening a beer bottle with his PENIS.

Sergeant Andrew Lawrance attached a bottle opener to a piercing on his manhood and performed the stunt for fellow officers and their wives.


DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!

(Unless you have a piercing yourself of course...)

For some reason I was reminded of another headline I was recently:

Gay Bishop Could Split Church

Is it only me, or does the word "split" have other connotations when used in the subtext of male homosexuality?

"I'm leaving the church before we all get split by the Gay Bishop"

What a title that would be for a spoof...

Or is "will the church be the only thing split by the gay bishops" better?

Do it! Do it right now, Jimbo!

It'll be a truly seminal Spoof.

Go on, I dare you.

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Quote: queen mudder

A COP was sacked for performing his "party trick" at a police Christmas do - opening a beer bottle with his PENIS.

Sergeant Andrew Lawrance attached a bottle opener to a piercing on his manhood and performed the stunt for fellow officers and their wives.


DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!

(Unless you have a piercing yourself of course...)

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QM:

Thank you. I love these gems you extract from the UK papers.

K I will, no one nick the title - I need to get myself home and find time to write

Cops and genitalia figure quite high in the Sun it seems




"The sergeant - who now works part-time in an off licence - had been involved in a similar incident at a pub three years earlier and had received counselling over it. "

Seems he has found his dream job!

Most men of his age get a sports car to extend their manhood

I got a bulldog clip, some string and a breezeblock.

Regards

Skoob.

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Quote: Skoob1999

I got a bulldog clip, some string and a breezeblock.

Regards

Skoob.

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And now skoob it's not quite as long as Winston's next door but it has turned black!!

That's all brought tears to my eyes! I mean the bit about the bulldog clip etc.

It said 'Don't try this at home' so I suppose Skoob went next door to try it.....