Discussion Forum

Hello, friends (fiends, too!) -

I proffer today three ideas/questions for us to bat about. (I find such exercises often help free the muse in me, and my muse has been a holed-up little bastard lately.)

Idea/Question the First: Recite a favorite song lyric. (Not the whole damned song; just a line or two that's genuinely meant something to you, why, and who sang it.)

Idea/Question the Second: Choose a goofy or obscure saying from your family, country or prefecture and explain it to us.

Idea/Question the Third: Write a line that could have been written by The Bard, but was not.

I'll go first!

1. "Sometime I get this crazy dream that I'll just take off in my car... but you can travel on ten-thousand miles and still stay where you are." Harry Chapin, "WOLD." Sung in the character of a washed-up disc jockey, WOLD being the call letters of his current radio station. The line is the best way I've heard to convey that the one thing you can't outrun is your own, sorry ass. (Probably the antidote to this song is Willie Nelson's "Ragged But Right." He's fucked up, he knows it, but he's good with himself. Gotta love that Willie.)

2. One of my fathers-in-law used the expression, "shit through a tin horn" to describe something happening speedily, as "That car was faster than shit through a tin horn!"

I guess it's somewhat self-explanatory, except that (a) I really don't want to know anyone who defecates into a tin horn, and (b) I have absolutely no idea what a tin horn is. But I'm guessing that poo of the right consistency would pass through one pretty quickly.

3. "My kingdom for an ass! My ass for a kingdom!"

OK, now it's YOUR turn. Have fun!

Ok.

1."I want to shower you with sugar lumps, and ride you over fences
Polish your hooves every single day, and bring you to the horse dentist
My lovely horse, you're a pony no more"

It's about horses and pony's.
It's comedically divine.

The divine comedy.



2. "I'll f*****g kill you ya dirty little f*****g piebald b*****d!!!!!!!!!"

Grandad McCarthy.
Fucking bastard Tourettes sufferering motherfu**er.


3. Number three is pointless.

I'll not participate in number three, you can't make me and you'll never break me so ffffffffff.... forget it.

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Quote: Geneva Slim

Hello, friends (fiends, too!) -

I proffer today three ideas/questions for us to bat about. (I find such exercises often help free the muse in me, and my muse has been a holed-up little bastard lately.)

Idea/Question the First: Recite a favorite song lyric. (Not the whole damned song; just a line or two that's genuinely meant something to you, why, and who sang it.)

Idea/Question the Second: Choose a goofy or obscure saying from your family, country or prefecture and explain it to us.

Idea/Question the Third: Write a line that could have been written by The Bard, but was not.

I'll go first!

1. "Sometime I get this crazy dream that I'll just take off in my car... but you can travel on ten-thousand miles and still stay where you are." Harry Chapin, "WOLD." Sung in the character of a washed-up disc jockey, WOLD being the call letters of his current radio station. The line is the best way I've heard to convey that the one thing you can't outrun is your own, sorry ass. (Probably the antidote to this song is Willie Nelson's "Ragged But Right." He's fucked up, he knows it, but he's good with himself. Gotta love that Willie.)

2. One of my fathers-in-law used the expression, "shit through a tin horn" to describe something happening speedily, as "That car was faster than shit through a tin horn!"

I guess it's somewhat self-explanatory, except that (a) I really don't want to know anyone who defecates into a tin horn, and (b) I have absolutely no idea what a tin horn is. But I'm guessing that poo of the right consistency would pass through one pretty quickly.

3. "My kingdom for an ass! My ass for a kingdom!"

OK, now it's YOUR turn. Have fun!

---

Shit, this is a tough one.

Sorry to drag up the quote but I may need to refer back.

1 "This city does, it makes you feel so cold.
"It's got so many people but it's got no soul."

Jerry Rafferty. Baker Street.

"He's got this dream about buying some land,
"Give up the booze and the one night stands
"Then he'll settle down, in a quiet little town and forget about everything."

2 The quote:

"I'd rather have a thief than a liar. You know where you stand with a thief." - Father in law.

3 Quote

"To be or not to be. That is the question.

"Whether it be nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune...

"Or to be bombarded by human shit and darts at Anfield..."

I tried.

Regards

Skoob.

Still Baker Street. Comforting to know that I don't need to do that kind of crap any more.

Sorry about that.

The last line should have been at the end of question 2.

Skoob.

Jerry Rafferty,
Baker street?


Is that really the best you could do?

I love you, Fergus! Thank you for being first.

But... decaf, baby, decaf!


---------------------------

And to master Skoob - well done, per usual. Baker Street, indeed. Good to know its poignancy is in the past for you, though.

Thanks for playing!

Stupid song, Why would you give up booze and one night stands if you were getting them?

Ridiculess.

Yeah, Gerry Rafferty.

Is that best spelling you could both do?

Oh, and Skoob - re: thieves and liars -good one - reminds me of something an uncle used to say that I can't really repeat in polite company (or here!) - the gist was would you rather see the bad thing coming and brace for it, or get it up the ass unawares?

Come to think of it, what kind of an uncle says that to a 10 year old? No WONDER I ended up in prison!

I heard on the radio that decaff is bad for you, and me, probably everyone, why would you want to take the caffeine out?


That's like drinking low fat milk.


It's wrong and it's wrong.

Ferg, do you mean 'Ridiculess' as in 'lacking ridicule', or do you mean 'ridiculous' as in 'ridiculous'?

Which is it, you big lummox?

Aw, come on, give me a big hug, you big, soft Irish teddy bear.

Ferg - I just meant you seem jitttery is all. It looks good on you, though.

For me, caffeine is the fluid of life. That's what's left when you get paroled and can't do anything else anymore - drink, smoke the ganj, have sex with the mailman, conceal & carry, vote...

It's hell living in polite society!

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Quote: Monkey Woods

Yeah, Gerry Rafferty.

Is that best spelling you could both do?

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I'll do this one first.... I don't give a shit how his name is spelt, spelled, shpield or written, I also hate "The streets of London"


Blyan Lobson.

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Quote: Monkey Woods

Ferg, do you mean 'Ridiculess' as in 'lacking ridicule', or do you mean 'ridiculous' as in 'ridiculous'?

Which is it, you big lummox?

Aw, come on, give me a big hug, you big, soft Irish teddy bear.

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Hugs****


I left that one open, I was hunting pedants.

Did I really spell Rafferty wrong?

It's the glare off the keyboard.

Anyway, I put that in because four weeks ago I met up with Colonel Juan and Lynton for a couple of pints. Nutted a lamppost or something and ended up in casualty.

Found a friendly cabbie who ferried me about for a bit looking for a hotel room for the night. (By the time they let me out the trains had all stopped.) Blood on my shirt and a dressing on my eyebrow - they wouldn't let me past the security doors.

Spent the night under the bridge at Waterloo station waiting for the first train back.

The Baker Street thing wasn't intended to be deep and heavy.

Just sums up London sometimes.

Skoob.

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Quote: Geneva Slim

Ferg - I just meant you seem jitttery is all. It looks good on you, though.

For me, caffeine is the fluid of life. That's what's left when you get paroled and can't do anything else anymore - drink, smoke the ganj, have sex with the mailman, conceal & carry, vote...


It's hell living in polite society!

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Why can't you do any of those things????

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Quote: Skoob1999

Did I really spell Rafferty wrong?

Skoob.

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No.

You spelt Gerry wrong..... FFS!!!!


!!!

!!!!!!!

Fergus

That's probably why I hate that bloody silly anagram game.

Pedant

Regards

Skoob.

Must have been thinking of Springer.

Ho hum. (Don't tell me I missed the apostrophe)

Regards

Skoob.

Stop the smilies Skoob.


You know I hate the smilies.

I'll have to go in a minute or two, I'm nearly out of alcohol.... In the meantime, Skoob, can you start a campaign for a writing competition?

When I say a competition I mean one where the young Lord Lowton puts a random picture on display and everyone writes a possibly humorous story around it.

I'd ask him myslef but he doesn't seem to love me like he does the rest of you, he only loves the performers... Three years I've been here and he never even says "Hi Fergus".


I feel so alone.
Abandoned.. Discarded.. Cast aside like a raggy doll.

















Woe is me.

Glug....

Gone.. G'night.

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Quote: Fergus McCarthy


I also hate "The streets of London"

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Wasn't that Ralph McTell?

Or maybe Ralf McTell, I'm never sure about that one.

I don't think they like Robbo very much here. Even after his successes at West Brom, Boro and Bradford...

Probably.

I still hate it, when I was in London one of the lads I used to hang around with insisted on on singiging (I could change this on the edit.. But I like it) it as soon as he reached his tenth pint by way of celebration.

Oddly enough I was renting a house in an estate where he lives until we moved out to our own place and three O Clock in the morning we were woken by "Streets of London" at full blast on a set of speakers.

Mrs Mc was horrified and suggested law enforcement until I told her I recognised the singer and not to worry, he only knows the one song and no-one can listen to it three times... Not by him anyway.


First Holy Communions are a curse.