Discussion Forum

Hello.

Now that I've got the formalities over with I would like to state my point:
I did some exercising yesterday.
I am not what you would technically call a fat bastard. I am of average weight for my height (3ft 2 inches - 27 stone).

I decided to do a little work out in my bedroom before I went to bed (which is something I tend to do in my bedroom quite a lot).
The problem lies in the fact that my bedroom contains a very old cushion which is on a very nice chair.
I began to beat the shit out of this pillow. Unfortunately the pillow is incredibly dusty. i did not know this at the time until the room filled with dust and I lost my eyesight and began to sneeze continuously for two hours.

I am now a mere shadow of my former self. No, I am not black and long but I am feeble and have very watery eyes.
And it is all becasue I decided to exercise.

Thanks a lot, Fitness.
You've fucked me over for the last time.
I actually know of a man who collapses and died while jogging.

Has anyone else had a bad experience with exercise?

Hello, J-Bu:

I could stand to lose a few boulders myself, and so recently joined a fitness facility (formerly: gym). So far, I've gone thrice. Most everyone there is far younger than I and NOT FAT. A pox upon their sleek and sinewy bodies.

Actually, one nice fellow helped me use one of the machines (I'm disabled from a car accident), and even came to my aid when I fell off.

O, for the days when the Wagnerian form was prized. Now it's the meth-chic gals who rule.

But always remember, famous writer/runner Jim Fixx had a heart attack and died while jogging.

JB,

Your avatar indicates you are quite young, so I don't think you really need to worry about exercise just yet.

However, quitting smoking now would greatly reduce serious risks to your health.

Have you tried using skim milk in your tea and switching to a lo-fat biscuit?

"But always remember, famous writer/runner Jim Fixx had a heart attack and died while jogging."

Lots of people die in bed too. That's why I always sleep awake.

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Quote: Erskin Quint

"But always remember, famous writer/runner Jim Fixx had a heart attack and died while jogging."

Lots of people die in bed too. That's why I always sleep awake.

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Some people die while having sex.

50% of marriages end in divorce, and 50% in death...My divorce papers are in the works now.

I plan to be immortal.

So far, so good.

Iain

Hello all.

I wish you all luck with your plans for world domination, everlasting life, use of complicated exercise equipment and suchlike.

I've been running up and down stairs for a few weeks to see what happens. So far, nothing. Just sweat.
But it makes me feel like I'm doing something helpful for my interior.

I'd love to have a huge big muscly arm like Nick Fun's. In fact, I'd love to have TWO of them - one for each side.
And a six pack. The muscle kind.

But that requires effort. And dangerous drugs that leave you constipated.
Is it worth it?
I think not.

Tomorrow I shall replace that evil dusty pillow/cushion and continue my sad, pathetic boxing efforts.

PS: My avatar is not a real person. It is dangerous for babies to smoke. But it helps keep their weight down.

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Quote: Amethyst Ryder
Some people die while having sex.

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The French call orgasm Le Petit Mort.

The little death...

Mrs Skoob just tells me to get off.

Regards

Skoob

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Quote: Skoob1999

The little death...

Mrs Skoob just tells me to get off.

Regards

Skoob

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And of course you do as you are told.

Do you get a Skooby snack afterwards?

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Quote: queen mudder

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Quote: Amethyst Ryder
Some people die while having sex.

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The French call orgasm Le Petit Mort.

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Of course they do. They speak French.
And they do it better than most. Speak French, that is.

URGENT UPDATE:

I didn't buy new cushions after all. I had been planning to make a significant purchase of new cushions but I was foiled by the fact that I didn't like any of the ones I saw and they were crap.

AND.....I have that pesky groin strain again. Curse you infernal exercise.

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Quote: Jesus Budda

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Quote: queen mudder

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Quote: Amethyst Ryder
Some people die while having sex.

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The French call orgasm Le Petit Mort.

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Of course they do. They speak French.
And they do it better than most. Speak French, that is.

URGENT UPDATE:

I didn't buy new cushions after all. I had been planning to make a significant purchase of new cushions but I was foiled by the fact that I didn't like any of the ones I saw and they were crap.

AND.....I have that pesky groin strain again. Curse you infernal exercise.

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Did you try massage?

I climbed some stairs yesterday and nearly killed both my legs. My left leg is still in shock.

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Quote: IainB

50% of marriages end in divorce

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Marriage is the leading cause of divorce.

Hey, JB, you probably strained your groin running around looking for new seat cushions. Why don't you just sit down for a while? You probably need some rest.

BTW, thanks for clearing that up about the baby avatar. Boy, am I relieved!

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Quote: IainB

50% of marriages end in divorce,
Iain

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I've been married, and divorced, twice.

Have I used up my quota?

What happens of I get married again and then decide I hate her?

Am I not allowed to get divorced again................

Birb...it's 3 strikes and out, I'm afraid.

I am actually my own step-brother thanks to my parents antics.

Parents divorced in '89, mum married her 'psychic' toyboy, dad married a paranoid alcoholic. Mum divorced, then married a psychotic nutter; alcoholic died of acute cirrhosis. Mum left psychco, hid at my dads. Divorce came through, and mum and dad remarried. I was the best man at their wedding. I pointed out that they were both bringing children from a previous marriage.

Ironically, my surname is Benson...who was a character from Soap, a comedy Soap Opera, which is how my life panned out. Nominative Determinism at it's finest.

Iain

Poor Iain B.

I liked Benson. It was a funny comedy.

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Quote: Jesus Budda

Poor Iain B.

I liked Benson. It was a funny comedy.

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JB, I also exercise although I'm quite ancient my left hand never lets me down?