Forum Home / Login / Register

This forum does not allow guest posting. You must register to participate in this forum.

Messages ordered by earliest posts first
All times are GMT

Forum Home / General Discussion / Haiti and Chile - Global Warming Victims?


[This topic is LOCKED]

3 Pages - [1] 2 3 »
AuthorMessage
The San Francisco Onion
Writer
The San Francisco Onion

Location: The produce section
Registered: 14 Dec 08

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 3 Mar 10 01:48
Watching the news, I just had a thought.

If enough cubic miles of ice melt, perhaps this redistribution of weight on tectonic plates could trigger earthquakes.

If that is possible, triggering volcanic activity might not be out of the question.

Anybody heard of anything like this?

The San Francisco Onion
Writer
The San Francisco Onion

Location: The produce section
Registered: 14 Dec 08

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 3 Mar 10 07:35
Found this:

Guardian: Global warming to trigger "earthquakes, tsunamis, avalanches and volcanic eruptions."
7

09

2009
You can't make this stuff up. It's worse than we thought. Related: Why the Greenland and Antarctic Ice Sheets are Not Collapsing


How a Tsunami is triggered - From HowStuffWorks.com - click
Climate change: melting ice will trigger wave of natural disasters

Scientists at a London conference next week will warn of earthquakes, avalanches and volcanic eruptions as the atmosphere heats up and geology is altered. Even Britain could face being struck by tsunamis

Robin McKie The Observer, Sunday 6 September 2009

Scientists are to outline dramatic evidence that global warming threatens the planet in a new and unexpected way - by triggering earthquakes, tsunamis, avalanches and volcanic eruptions.

Reports by international groups of researchers - to be presented at a London conference next week - will show that climate change, caused by rising outputs of carbon dioxide from vehicles, factories and power stations, will not only affect the atmosphere and the sea but will alter the geology of the Earth.

Melting glaciers will set off avalanches, floods and mud flows in the Alps and other mountain ranges; torrential rainfall in the UK is likely to cause widespread erosion; while disappearing Greenland and Antarctic ice sheets threaten to let loose underwater landslides, triggering tsunamis that could even strike the seas around Britain.


At the same time the disappearance of ice caps will change the pressures acting on the Earth's crust and set off volcanic eruptions across the globe. Life on Earth faces a warm future - and a fiery one.
"Not only are the oceans and atmosphere conspiring against us, bringing baking temperatures, more powerful storms and floods, but the crust beneath our feet seems likely to join in too," said Professor Bill McGuire, director of the Benfield Hazard Research Centre, at University College London (UCL).

"Maybe the Earth is trying to tell us something," added McGuire, who is one of the organisers of UCL's Climate Forcing of Geological Hazards conference, which will open on 15 September. Some of the key evidence to be presented at the conference will come from studies of past volcanic activity. These indicate that when ice sheets disappear the number of eruptions increases, said Professor David Pyle, of Oxford University's earth sciences department.

"The last ice age came to an end between 12,000 to 15,000 years ago and the ice sheets that once covered central Europe shrank dramatically," added Pyle. "The impact on the continent's geology can by measured by the jump in volcanic activity that occurred at this time."


Bargis Tryhol
The Tripod
Posted: 3 Mar 10 12:00
A similar report blames automobiles for the rise in teutonic activity mainly in the Pacific rim.

Theorists have estimated the amount of automobiles and heavy trucks that have been added to emerging economic countries like India, China, Taiwan, Japan, So. Korea, Indonesia, and western So. America are causing Edderson Energy Wave stresses on the Earth's surface.

These applied stresses are transmitted in such a manner that the actual energy that's amplified through a vehicle's braking system is being transmitted directly into the Earth's teutonic plates.

If you take the mechanical braking actions of several million vehicles, each weighing tons, all in a simutaneous application, the eWave Factor that is transmitted into the Earth is enormous. Multiply that by hundreds of thousands of similar actions over the course of a single day and you can see that this is a major problem when viewed globally.

A single Toyota Corolla exerts 1,900 ft pounds of energy when stopping at 35 MPH. This energy is a combination of vehicle energy-speed-mass that is transferred directly into the braking energy needed to stop the vehicle. This transfer of applied energy is forced into the Earth on each stopping procedure.

Other objects that transmitt similar energy are glacial activities. The weight of millions of tons of ice feed by gravitational forces add stress induced eWaves into regional Teutonic plates. The one place on Earth where glacial activity is still advancing are the Andes Mountains, and the Himilaya Mountains. Each are approximate to each other and have acted as a counter-balance in eWave forces.

With the addition of autos and trucks to countries where ecomonic fortunes have been on the upswing for the past 40 years, the canceling balance of the Asian and So. American glaciers by these new additional eWave forces has caused Pacific plate movement to increase. Earthquakes and volcanic activity has shown a remarkable increase over the past 30 years and this trend is unique in Earth's geological history.

Morse
-- --- .-. ... .
Posted: 3 Mar 10 13:26


Wow! You'd think Gore would be praising Toyota for reducing braking efficiency in the Prius and adding years to Global Life!

Thanks for the insight BT....I'm going to start 'coasting!'....

PS: still freakin' cold in SC!

Bargis Tryhol
The Tripod
Posted: 3 Mar 10 13:59 - Edited By: Bargis Tryhol, 3 Mar 10 14:18
Thanks Morse! Cold here too! Actually, the above report is chilling given the ramifications.

Bureau
Snippet Zoner
Bureau

Registered: 6 Sep 08

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 3 Mar 10 15:28



I bet that's what shrank Jon Gosselin's penis also.

Any reports out there?

Morse
-- --- .-. ... .
Posted: 3 Mar 10 15:41

Quote: Bureau

I bet that's what shrank Jon Gosselin's penis also.

Any reports out there?


No Prob! Read today they're making 'wee' condoms for 12-14 year olds...
probably fit over his head too...little PRICK!

Bureau
Snippet Zoner
Bureau

Registered: 6 Sep 08

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 3 Mar 10 16:08


Morse,

I made that very 'point' in the snippets this morning, or whenever the next group comes out. Bet the 12-year-olds 'come out a head'.



The San Francisco Onion
Writer
The San Francisco Onion

Location: The produce section
Registered: 14 Dec 08

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 3 Mar 10 16:44 - Edited By: The San Francisco Onion, 3 Mar 10 16:44

Quote: Bargis Tryhol

A similar report blames automobiles for the rise in teutonic activity mainly in the Pacific rim.

Theorists have estimated...

etc.




That doesn't sound right. In fact, if I didn't know better, I'd say you pulled that one right out of your arsehole.

See, the atmosphere is gaseous, rarefied and very thin, so adding things like the breath of 7 billion humans, the farts of 1.5 billion cows, and the exhaust (2 pounds of carbon dioxide per gallon of gas burned) of hundreds of millions of automobiles, and you can affect the atmosphere.

Tectonic plates are solid (not gas) and very dense, miles thick, and hundreds to thousands of miles wide.

Every car in the world on the world's smallest tectonic plate driving 100 kph the same direction and applying their brakes at the same time would be like a single cow farting in the atmosphere - barely consequential.

Furthermore, averaged together, the braking of automobiles is random, like Brownian motion, not applied in the same direction.

Carpet cleaners use sonic waves generated by a ball bearing to help power dirt out of carpet with hot water extraction methods, so I understand this concept, but the numbers just don't add up.

Furthermore, that massive quake in Chile was only enough to change the Earth's rotation by something like a millisecond and a half, so coming to a full stop is not likely to trigger a volcano.

Melting hundreds of cubic miles of ice? That's the sort of weight displacement you would need.

Or maybe enough big-headed writers standing in the same place at the same time.

The San Francisco Onion
Writer
The San Francisco Onion

Location: The produce section
Registered: 14 Dec 08

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 3 Mar 10 16:53

Quote: Morse

PS: still freakin' cold in SC!




Give it some time:

Big sunspot emerging over weekend signals solar minimum ending

February 18, 2010

Say goodbye to the solar minimum.

After a lull in solar activity that on many days left a "blank sun" with no sunspots at all, a big one popped up this past weekend, marking a change in the sun's weather.

The big sunspot designated 1045 showed up Saturday, and since has shot several flares off the surface.

"The strongest blast ... may have hurled a coronal mass ejection toward Earth," reports the astronomy news service Spaceweather.com. "High-latitude sky watchers should be alert for auroras in the nights ahead as a result of this activity. Also, ham radio operators are picking up strong solar radio bursts using shortwave receivers."

Auroras are commonly called "northern lights" and give the night sky a colorful sheen in places such as Alaska and Canada.

According to a 2009 report on National Public Radio, astronomers track an 11-year sunspot cycle that has been steady since the 1700s. The last peak in solar activity was in 2001, when 150-175 sunspots were recorded. During the solar minimum in 2008, the sun was blank for 266 days.

This solar cycle will be No. 24.


April 9, 2009-A continued low in solar activity, as measured by the appearance of irregularities on the Sun's surface known as sunspots, may be responsible for the recent phase of cooling experienced in many parts of the Northern Hemisphere. In the opinion of many specialists, the downturn in solar activity likely marks the beginning of a prolonged cooling period.

The expected cooling will produce many hardships for a human population already stressed by a prolonged downturn in global physical-economic productive capability. But the bright side may be that such bloated windbags as Al Gore and his leaner companion James Hansen, who have led Royal Consort Prince Philip's genocidal global warming promotion, will finally be silenced.

For students of the Sun, the length of the solar cycle, which lasts an average of 11 years but may go longer or shorter, has proven the best historical indicator of short-term climate. At the ends of these solar cycles, sunspot activity first declines, and then picks up markedly, indicating the beginning of a new cycle. The precise relationship between the sunspots, which are thought to be determined by magnetic activity within the Sun, and the energy output of the Sun, is not known. However, long-term studies of the historical record have shown that when the minima in sunspot activity extend beyond the average 11 years, significant declines in temperatures on Earth are experienced. Regular records of sunspot activity go back to the 17th Century.

The current solar cycle, numbered 23, began in 1996, and was expected to reach minimum and transition to solar cycle 24 in January 2007.

It did not. Instead, a prolonged period of excessively low solar activity has continued to this moment. In 2008, there were no sunspots observed on 266 of the year's 366 days (73%). "To find a year with more blank suns, you have to go all the way back to 1913," NASA reported in a press release. Since the beginning of the current year, sunspot counts have dropped even lower: As of April 9, there were no sunspots on 89 of the year's 99 days (90%).


Jalapenoman
Spicy Hombre
Posted: 3 Mar 10 17:09 - Edited By: Jalapenoman, 3 Mar 10 17:09
This has all been interesting reading.

Much of it sounds like pseudo science, like this one my Dad sent to me: "Increased hot air from Washington Czars (which have never contributed to the D.C. greenhouse effect) may be responsible for the oppositional global warming effect that has dumped over thirty inches of snow on the city three times in the past eight weeks.

He heard that on a talk radio show that was supposed to be serious (and it wasn't Limbaugh), and then downloaded it from their site and sent it to me. I think it was supposed to be tongue in cheek, but....

Going back to an earlier topic:

Actually, I heard the car breaking one myself a few years ago. The full article talked about how a large percentage of cracks in the pavement of a road (and most of them that are near intersections) display this breaking effect on a smaller scale. It also showed many driveways and pointed out that most of the cracks in concrete driveways are near where cars park (and put on their brakes that final time). These smaller shockwaves are multiplied greatly all around the planet and can put stress on the earth.

The San Francisco Onion
Writer
The San Francisco Onion

Location: The produce section
Registered: 14 Dec 08

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 3 Mar 10 17:37

Quote: Jalapenoman

This has all been interesting reading.

Much of it sounds like pseudo science, like this one my Dad sent to me: "Increased hot air from Washington Czars (which have never contributed to the D.C. greenhouse effect) may be responsible for the oppositional global warming effect that has dumped over thirty inches of snow on the city three times in the past eight weeks.

He heard that on a talk radio show that was supposed to be serious (and it wasn't Limbaugh), and then downloaded it from their site and sent it to me. I think it was supposed to be tongue in cheek, but....

Going back to an earlier topic:

Actually, I heard the car breaking one myself a few years ago. The full article talked about how a large percentage of cracks in the pavement of a road (and most of them that are near intersections) display this breaking effect on a smaller scale. It also showed many driveways and pointed out that most of the cracks in concrete driveways are near where cars park (and put on their brakes that final time). These smaller shockwaves are multiplied greatly all around the planet and can put stress on the earth.





The sunspot one is real science. Since the sun is gas compressed to behave like a liquid, it turns faster at the equator than the poles. This twists the sun's magnetic field over time; snaps and readjustments in the field let out bursts of energy which build over time until a breaking point is reached (usu. about 11 years), and the North and South poles switch, followed by a second approx. 11 year half-cycle until they switch again.

The "braking" theory sound more preposterous the more I hear it. A single car-sized boulder weighs many times more than a car. A cubic foot of typical Earth rock weighs 150-200 pounds. Even a cubic foot of water weighs more than 60 pounds. The Earth in total weighs about 6,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 tons.

A similar number? If every human being on the planet weighed a trillion tons, we would outweigh the Earth. A few hundred million cars, even working together, simply can't move things this big. It's like saying bacteria working together can physically move your colon.

While that's not likely, they can certainly release gases and change the chemical composition of your colon's atmosphere.

Jalapenoman
Spicy Hombre
Posted: 3 Mar 10 17:46
SFO,

Yes, it sounds strange. When you put it to the analogy of a single car cracking a driveway over time or multiple cars cracking the asphalt of an intersection, it can somehow make sense.

Every been to any big cave systems (Carlsbad or Mammoth, for example)? Have you seen the marvelous stalagtites and stalagmites that were built one drip of water at a time? Have you, likewise, seen the big hole or erosion that can be caused by water, one drip at a time?

The San Francisco Onion
Writer
The San Francisco Onion

Location: The produce section
Registered: 14 Dec 08

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 3 Mar 10 18:00
Here's another thought about the "braking" theory:

A single nuclear blast can level a city, generate a blast wind in excess of 500 mph, and cause a registering earthquake. Underwater nuclear tests, due to the way energy propogates in water, can shake tectonic plates even more violently.

These forces are more comparable in scale (though not in speed) to the melting of cubic miles of ice.

Perhaps simultaneously dropping the entire world's 6-800 million automobiles (still not even 2 billion tons), in a single location from a mile up, would compare.

The San Francisco Onion
Writer
The San Francisco Onion

Location: The produce section
Registered: 14 Dec 08

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 3 Mar 10 18:15

Quote: Jalapenoman

SFO,

Yes, it sounds strange. When you put it to the analogy of a single car cracking a driveway over time or multiple cars cracking the asphalt of an intersection, it can somehow make sense.

Every been to any big cave systems (Carlsbad or Mammoth, for example)? Have you seen the marvelous stalagtites and stalagmites that were built one drip of water at a time? Have you, likewise, seen the big hole or erosion that can be caused by water, one drip at a time?




Yes. In fact, I've seen what hundred of millions of years of evolution can create: Self-awareness. It's pretty amazing.

But again, it's all about the math. Of course small effects have a way of accumulating. That's why global warming IS an issue.

But in this case, the numbers don't add up. It has to do with the mathematics of a sphere's surface area to volume ratio. Our effects on the planet's atmosphere and thin skin are far greater than any effect we could ever hope to exert on its incredibly huge mass.

Bargis Tryhol
The Tripod
Posted: 3 Mar 10 18:53 - Edited By: Bargis Tryhol, 3 Mar 10 19:17
I did a litle more research and actualy called my friend who's a professor of physics at Rutgers University in New Jersey (department head in fact).

I asked him about what I read and the 'brake energy theory' and the Edderson Energy Wave and his thoughts were consistent with the current theory, in fact part of his government research grant concerns polamic wave generation in inanimate objects...Now, I'm no physics theorist so alot of this struff has passed me by when he explained it, but I took some notes and will pass on what he said to be fact.

According to him, contrary to pass analogies of stored energy possibilities, all objects extert forces that have some energy. Since energy can never be destroyed it passes on and can effect various other objects who's energy is greater or lesser. Millions of cars exerting culmulative foot pounds of energy will be absorbed into other objects.

Yeah, I know wild stuff, but he summoned it up this way... that light energy can be stored if transposed and later released. Just as when you burn a log in the fireplace, the heat released through the chemical action of fire corrolates to all the light energy that tree absorbed in it's life span except you're releasing it all at one time. You're simply releasing it in another form as heat and chemical energy, just as transposed gravitational energy is passed through from a automobile's braking force and is relegated into a transposition of kinetic forces into a delayed seismic action over a period of time. Yes, the entire earth's population jumping at the same moment would be similar and that energy would be stored until it overcame a greater force then it would add and release I guess.

Guess we don't use brakes, huh!

Jesus Budda
Two sheets to the wind
Posted: 3 Mar 10 18:54
Good on you, San Francisco Onion.
I like you for being who you are and not being an oldie like those others. They will be quivering in their tattered woolen vest when the World is destroyed by natures wrath. Curses on you, oldies, for creating the automobile.

Couldn't you have just been happy with the four-legged beasts of burden our forefathers survived on for generations?
Damn you all to hell, you monsters.

Even so, I am skeptical of the proposed reasons for Global Warming but accept that there is something happening. I have seen my ice-cream melting and I know that something is not right about that at all.
I am just waiting for some big volcano to explode and scatter ash over the entire planet and give us another good, old fashioned mini-ice age so that I can enjoy my ice-cream in comfort. And then we can just get back to blaming mother nature for everything and return to the ye olde ways.

Tally ho, old chum.



Bargis Tryhol
The Tripod
Posted: 3 Mar 10 19:07
Hmmm Another Chuy Theory about ice cream. I bet Chuy is so smart he can sit on a gallon of ice cream and tell what flavor it is.

Jesus Budda
Two sheets to the wind
Posted: 3 Mar 10 19:13
Hello Bargis Tryhol.
How are you keeping this fine spring day?
Do you have any interesting conspiracy theories to share?


Bargis Tryhol
The Tripod
Posted: 3 Mar 10 19:21



Give it some time:

Big sunspot emerging over weekend signals solar minimum ending

February 18, 2010

Say goodbye to the solar minimum.

After a lull in solar activity that on many days left a "blank sun" with no sunspots at all, a big one popped up this past weekend, marking a change in the sun's weather.

The big sunspot designated 1045 showed up Saturday, and since has shot several flares off the surface....Etc


That won't happen here in Florida, we have a different sun down here.

Bargis Tryhol
The Tripod
Posted: 3 Mar 10 19:23

Quote: Jesus Budda

Hello Bargis Tryhol.
How are you keeping this fine spring day?
Do you have any interesting conspiracy theories to share?


Yes, I believe Lee Harvey Oswald shot the sheriff, not Bob Marley!

Jesus Budda
Two sheets to the wind
Posted: 3 Mar 10 19:25
Well as long as he enjoyed himself doing it then its all right by me. Nothing like a grumpy killer.
See ya.

Jalapenoman
Spicy Hombre
Posted: 3 Mar 10 19:39 - Edited By: Jalapenoman, 3 Mar 10 19:40

Quote: Jesus Budda

Do you have any interesting conspiracy theories to share?


I think that Jessica Simpson was riding Tony Romo behind the rock wall on the grassy knoll that day in Dallas. Maybe they can tell us if anyone else there had a gun.

The San Francisco Onion
Writer
The San Francisco Onion

Location: The produce section
Registered: 14 Dec 08

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 4 Mar 10 00:08
Nonsense.

What if 800,000,000 cars accelerated at the same time?

Then, when they all reached 100 kph, they braked simultaneously, too?

Wouldn't the opposing forces cancel each other out??

Is the Toyota corporation really just attempting to make corrections for Edderson Energy?

What if all the lice on your head decided to jump off at the same time?

Would your head collapse, or would its rotation change?

All the human beings on Earth have a total mass of maybe 600,000,000 tons.

The Earth has a mass in the neighborhood of 6,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 tons.

Those numbers differ by a factor of 10,000,000,000,000.

The GDP of the United States is around $15,000,000,000,000.

Can every consumer "shake up" the U.S. economy by spending a grand total of $1.50, not each, but between all of them?

Furthermore, burning a log is not even an example of the transfer of kinetic energy.

I'd like to talk to your friend from Rutgers!

Is he getting government funding?


Quote: Bargis Tryhol

I did a litle more research and actualy called my friend who's a professor of physics at Rutgers University in New Jersey (department head in fact).

I asked him about what I read and the 'brake energy theory' and the Edderson Energy Wave and his thoughts were consistent with the current theory, in fact part of his government research grant concerns polamic wave generation in inanimate objects...Now, I'm no physics theorist so alot of this struff has passed me by when he explained it, but I took some notes and will pass on what he said to be fact.

According to him, contrary to pass analogies of stored energy possibilities, all objects extert forces that have some energy. Since energy can never be destroyed it passes on and can effect various other objects who's energy is greater or lesser. Millions of cars exerting culmulative foot pounds of energy will be absorbed into other objects.

Yeah, I know wild stuff, but he summoned it up this way... that light energy can be stored if transposed and later released. Just as when you burn a log in the fireplace, the heat released through the chemical action of fire corrolates to all the light energy that tree absorbed in it's life span except you're releasing it all at one time. You're simply releasing it in another form as heat and chemical energy, just as transposed gravitational energy is passed through from a automobile's braking force and is relegated into a transposition of kinetic forces into a delayed seismic action over a period of time. Yes, the entire earth's population jumping at the same moment would be similar and that energy would be stored until it overcame a greater force then it would add and release I guess.

Guess we don't use brakes, huh!


Philbert of Macadamia
Historical nutcase
Philbert of Macadamia

Location: Pizmo Beach, Pennsyltucky
Registered: 20 May 08

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 4 Mar 10 00:14

3 Pages - [1] 2 3 »
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

Go to top

Forum permissions

You are not logged in.

  • You cannot create new topics in this forum
  • You cannot post new messages in this forum
  • You cannot add polls
  • You cannot link to external images in this forum
  • You cannot upload images in this forum
  • You cannot upload files in this forum
Who is online?

There are no registered users currently online.

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot