Discussion Forum

To save time and effort, I'll do the answers. You supply the questions.

1) Knutsford

2) Once a month

3) Pig's blood

4) The Grand Canyon

5) Draught Guinness

6) Pink

7) Osmosis

Katie Price

9) Pink Floyd

10) 38 DD

Show all working. No copying. If you need a piss, put your hand up. Original fucking daft idea C/O Colonel Juan.

The questions.

1) Knutsford...What's Where I left My Heart after San Francisco threw me out?

2) Once a month...When does Mark Lowton send my secret royalties check?

3) Pig's blood...What is my ex-wife's real surname?

4) The Grand Canyon...What is the Woman With The World's Largest Vagina real nick name?

5) Draught Guinness...What is the name of the beer they serve warm as dog piss in popular pubs in Britain?

6) Pink...What color is Skoob's underwear? (His wife told me)

7) Osmosis....What is Donny and Marie's real last name.

Katie Price...Is $50.00 US the going price?

9) Pink Floyd...What is similar to a hemorrhoid, but sings a whole lot better!

10) 38 DD...What is similar to a .38 special cartridge but has a way bigger tip.

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Quote: Skoob1999

To save time and effort, I'll do the answers. You supply the questions.

1) What did people call Knut's vehicle?
Knutsford

2) How often does Jesus Budda manage to skip his monthly bath?
Once a month

3) What is not the main ingredient in the favored blood sausage of Moslems?
Pig's blood

4) What is the other name for DOlly Parton's cleavage?
The Grand Canyon

5) Who publishes the book of beer world records?
Draught Guinness

6) Which color of Hello Kitty panties does Mark Lowton wear to bed?
Pink

7) Skoob slept on a stack of books and claimed to absorb all of their knowledge through a process known as....
Osmosis (Note: unfortunately, they were all books about knitting)

Name the only woman under the age of 30 who has not had Colonel Juan arrested for flashing her?
Katie Price

9) After Madam Bitters had her sex change and became a woman, what did she call the female parts that used to be her privates?
Pink Floyd

10) What was the first model of the Nissan 280ZX sports car?
38 DD

Show all working. No copying. If you need a piss, put your hand up. Original fucking daft idea C/O Colonel Juan.

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I needed to piss and put my hand up, but then it went all over the bathroom. My wife says that you are coming over to clean it.

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Quote: Skoob1999

To save time and effort, I'll do the answers. You supply the questions.

1) Knutsford - British town where a group of "concerned citizens" wanted to change the name to Knotsbentley, but the over-50's shot them them down.

2) Once a month - How often I watch my money disappear, on average.

3) Pig's blood - An ingredient for blood pudding and blood sausages that Rob Pattinson drinks for breakfast.

4) The Grand Canyon - The second best canyon in the solar system.

5) Draught Guinness - Pour half a pint of this, then drop in a shot glass filled with 3/4 Irish Whiskey and 1/4 Irish Rum. Drink the whole thing as fast as you can - "Irish Car Bomb" (this is the only way I've ever had Guinness)

6) Pink - Most interesting performance at this year's Grammy Awards.

7) Osmosis - The process by which sweat is leaving my ass and permeating my seat cushion as I type this.

Katie Price - She seems well suited for politics.

9) Pink Floyd - Alan's Psychedelic Breakfast can be part of a well-rounded musical diet. Creators of timeless masterpieces.

10) 3D - Big enough.

Show all working. No copying. If you need a piss, put your hand up. Original fucking daft idea C/O Colonel Juan.

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Quote: Skoob1999

To save time and effort, I'll do the answers. You supply the questions.

1) Where is "Fuk Snot Rd" a false address?
Knutsford

2) Supply the beginning of this well-known saying about February: "..........., always a month"
Once a month

3) What keeps Keith Richards going? (clue: mixed with the ground bones of babies, it is smeared on the Pope on Walpurgisnacht)
Pig's blood

4) What is the Counterfeit Grand Canyon a copy of?
The Grand Canyon

5) What was chequers-loving thespian Sir Alec Guinness' nickname?
Draught Guinness

6) Sounds like sheer delight: Louise Austin's number 489406 incarnated and entered the fray in 1893; this is how it scores
Pink

7) What do you get when you put Ozymandias and Moses into a blender
Osmosis

What Peter Andre's paying.
Katie Price

9) What Floyd Patterson's friend Nobby said when they were in the supermarket and Floyd asked him what kind of tinned salmon they should buy
Pink Floyd

10) Average US Male bra size.
38 DD

Show all working. No copying. If you need a piss, put your hand up. Original fucking daft idea C/O Colonel Juan.

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The questions.

1) Knutsford: The only place to ford the river in the town of Knuts

2) Once a month: Repetitive sex for a 90 year old

3) Pig's blood: Used to make a bloody Miss Piggy

4) The Grand Canyon: The Octomom

5) Draught Guinness; Alec's brother

6) Pink: Well, tickle me

7) Osmosis: A process usually attributed to the stork

Katie Price: See 10)

9) Pink Floyd: Plastic birds found on lawns in Florida

10) 38 DD: A teenagers dream

Hi Skoobie...

Only just seen this..

I've tried.. honest..

But it's far too hard..

Now I'm embarrassed...

and ashamed..

I'll try again tomorrow..

Goodnight..

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Quote: Skoob1999

2) Once a month

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Sorry about this, Skoob, but the answer to number 2 should be 'Waterboarding'. Also, the answer to number 7, Osmosis, should, in fact, be the answer to number 9. Must've been a typo:

7) Osmosis (should be number 9)

Or number 11.

Nope.

Sorry.

They're in the correct order.

So far nobody has No 7 correct.

Waterboarding comes from June's quiz.

She doesn't know yet though, so keep it under your titfer.

Regards

Skoob.

Haha, still up are ye? I'm at school, Skoob. Lesson cancelled. Kids gone to OceanWorld. Coincidentally, I just posted a story about that Killer Whale death in Orlando.

What if the whale jumps up out of the water at OceanWorld? My classes on Thursdays will be forever empty...

No work tomorrow Monkey.

Enjoying a bit of late night peace and quiet.

Watching 'No Country For Old Men' on the telly.

What killer whale killing in Orlando?

Regards

Skoob.

This one:

Killer Whale story

Er, no. This one:

Killer Whale story

1. What is the medical term for trapping your scrotum in a car door?

2. What is the window of time for launching a moon shot from Arkansas?

3. What is the main ingredient of Heston Blumethal's Strawberry Jelly?

4. What did the Blooming Brilliant Canyon become after a million years of erosion?

5. What did Star Wars actor, Sir Alec, request he become after his death?

6. What is the present tense of 'pank'?

7. What is Liam Gallagher's new band called?

8. The cost of silicone soared recently, who was blamed?

9. Name a shit 1970's band. Please only name one.

A. What is 14557 in hexadecimal?

Iain

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Quote: Skoob1999

So far nobody has No 7 correct.

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Okay, one more try:

Osmosis: A process used by Sharon Osbourne to absorb and concentrate rarefied information from the gibberish spoken by her husband.

Hmmm.

What is the name of the Egyptian god of water diffusion?
Osmosis.

I don't believe it!

Iain B got question 7 right!

Blimey...

Regards

Skoob.

Okay, I;ll try another one:

Osmosis

What was the name of the Munchkin who parted the sea when it covered the Yellow Brick Road?

Some good answers there.

Well done all who took part.

Oh, and Iain B - well done on getting Q7 correct. Sadly, you got the other 9 wrong.

But never mind.

Regards

Skoob.