Discussion Forum

Why is it if I tell my missus that I want to buy a Camera that will cost $900 she goes up the wall and starts chewing cushions

Yet

If I wanted to buy a pair of shoes for the same money she wouldn't bat an eyelid - probably would help me choose them

Answer.

You are a wealthy crossdresser with impeccable taste and the same size feet as your colour blind wife.


Too easy. Give me another one.

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Quote: Fergus McCarthy

Answer.

You are a wealthy crossdresser with impeccable taste and the same size feet as your colour blind wife.


Too easy. Give me another one.

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Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

You're up late ferg - whereabouts are you over in the Emerald Isle?

Your decorator is big into astrology and is on an hourly rate.


The middle.
And you?

Sharp as a tack today Ferg.

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

A dyslexic German brewer with a collagen habit.



You going to have a go Vic?

Why are people meeting to discuss global warming without talking about population growth?

You can use Gordon Brown as a life line on this one.

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Quote: Lynton

Why is it if I tell my missus that I want to buy a Camera that will cost $900 she goes up the wall and starts chewing cushions

Yet

If I wanted to buy a pair of shoes for the same money she wouldn't bat an eyelid - probably would help me choose them

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Tell her the camera is on a rarely held sale. Ain't a woman been born that is able to resist a 'sale'. She'll probably buy it for you to purchase bragging rights.

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Quote: Seanachie

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Tell her the camera is on a rarely held sale. Ain't a woman been born that is able to resist a 'sale'. She'll probably buy it for you to purchase bragging rights.

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True true and it would be held against me for the rest of my life! Probably the only thing she'll hold against me for some time

It's because camera's regularly cost a lot, but a pair of shoes at that price must be REALLY special. Like orthopaedic, or something.

I'd believe you if you said there were 4billion stars, because I can't be arsed counting them myself, but I *can* check if the paint is wet. If you were lying about the paint, I'd then have to question your star count estimate as well.

What I want to know is why dyslexia is such a hard word to spell. Surely that's not fair. And why doesn't onomatopoeia sound the way's its spelt?

Iain

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Quote: Seanachie
Tell her the camera is on a rarely held sale. Ain't a woman been born that is able to resist a 'sale'. She'll probably buy it for you to purchase bragging rights.

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Boy, is that the truth! Tell her it was 85% off!

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Quote: Bargis Tryhol

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Quote: Seanachie
Tell her the camera is on a rarely held sale. Ain't a woman been born that is able to resist a 'sale'. She'll probably buy it for you to purchase bragging rights.

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Boy, is that the truth! Tell her it was 85% off!

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Absolutely.....they always come home and start off saying:

"Guess how much money I SAVED today" as they pile up duplicates of everything they own in their closet......

Kind of like the stuff you buy to get better gas mileage:

air filter saves 15%
new exhaust system 20%
new synthetic oil saves 20%
new carb.(for vintage cars) saves 25%
over inflate tires saves 5%
front and rear spoilers save 10%
Use cruise control more save 5%


WHY AM I STILL PAYING FOR GAS?????

You need to purchase the Algore Hot Air Inflation tool...saves 100% on gas

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Quote: Bargis Tryhol

You need to purchase the Algore Hot Air Inflation tool...saves 100% on gas

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...does this replace the hi performance bio degradable wing nuts....?

Alright then in a public loo when in the cubicle and the door indicator shows red why does everyone try it? What's more when you come out there's nobody there! Don't say the ghosts that would be silly.

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Quote: IainB

It's because camera's regularly cost a lot, but a pair of shoes at that price must be REALLY special. Like orthopaedic, or something.

I'd believe you if you said there were 4billion stars, because I can't be arsed counting them myself, but I *can* check if the paint is wet. If you were lying about the paint, I'd then have to question your star count estimate as well.

What I want to know is why dyslexia is such a hard word to spell. Surely that's not fair. And why doesn't onomatopoeia sound the way's its spelt?

Iain

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Quote: Lynton

Alright then in a public loo when in the cubicle and the door indicator shows red why does everyone try it? What's more when you come out there's nobody there! Don't say the ghosts that would be silly.


People go in, lock the door and either crawl under or climb over the door.

Evil geniuses.

People check to see if you're still alive or not.

More people die while sat on a public toilet than in crocodile attacks each year.

Once you've yelled "Get lost!" through the door, they know you're okay, and leave.

Simple.

Iain

Spose so we'll leave that one there what about

Why is it that people who've slept well say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

Damn your good at this Iain.

By the way has any one come across the latest edition of Rogers Profanisaurus? It had me in stitches from the first page.

Its by the writers of Viz for those who don't know and for the yanks it opens a door into the mysteries of idiomatic English as she is really spoke by the common man.

I found one copy but I gave it to my Bro for Xmas (don't tell him) so I'll just have to borrow it back.

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Quote: Lynton
Why is it that people who've slept well say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

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The people who say that have never had one. They believe baby's sleep well, because all new parents show off and say (through eyebagged eyes) oooh, he's a really good sleeper, he sleeps right through already, that's really good for a 2 day old.

Iain

We always found that if you put a small drop of warm milk in the bottle with their whiskey they'd sleep straight through till 7am.

Cranky little fuckers first thing in the morning though, that was the down side.

Of course your Holiness has several sprogs to his name

Nest question for you


Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?