Discussion Forum

Me, I'm a writer. It's a craft like photography to me. That certainly does not make me the arbiter of what putting pen to paper is. But I am curious as to what my peers consider themselves to be: writers or authors. And, BTW, authors are not necessarily published, so that doesn't count either way.

Q: Are you a writer or an author? I think of myself as a writer. 41% I think of myself as an author 25% I play with myself too much. 16% I am a bed wetter. 16% There have been 12 responses to this poll

Author usually refers to a published writer of a book, play, script, etc, and relates to the authority of copyright.


Writer = pensmith.

As far as what I do here, I would consider myself more of a humorist, satarist, or social commentator than a writer or an author.

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Quote: Jalapenoman

As far as what I do here, I would consider myself more of a humorist, satarist, or social commentator than a writer or an author.

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I'm with you on this though a spoof is an art form to itself.

I regard myself as a silly little man with aspirations that I will never fulfill - I also believe I am the reincarnation of one Adolf Hitler - therefore my book "Mien Kampf" makes me an author.

QM: I certainly see your point. But as we own the copyright authority for what we write here that Mark e-publishes, we are all authors.

The distinction I seek may be too nebulous. I've been published all of my life in newspapers, magazines, military history journals and the like. When I was giving talks on one naval battle, or Marine engagement, or US Civil War campaign, I'd often be introduced as the author of such and such.

But my first editor told me he hired me to be a writer, not a journalist. And my first photography master told me to be a craftsman and "allow the art to be discovered by the viewer."

As I read the spoofs here, I am constantly amazed at the true talent of most of the writers. Lately we've written about snippets--in the industry they are called fillers, but not in an off-hand or derogatory way at all. Writing short prose is most difficult when done well.

I don't know. I do know, too. I am a bed wetting, writer who plays with myself too much.

Frankie: Funny newspaper story.

My first job after VN was as a reporter for a local newspaper covering Paterson, NJ, right after Hurricane Carter was indicted for a murder many said he didn't commit.

I always wrote, but never took any journalism classes. My editor was breaking me in and handed me a lead: "give me 3 takes on this" he said.

I proceded to write the story with 3 different slants.

I soon learned he meant "give me 3 pages on this, Shit head!"

Clark Kent

My first assignment was writing an obit and my boss wanted five "graphs."

I was friggin clueless; what kind of graphs are in obits?

One of the typesetters told me I had nine graphs, not five. I figured it out and began talking newsspeak.

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Quote: Duncan Whitehead

I regard myself as a silly little man with aspirations that I will never fulfill - I also believe I am the reincarnation of one Adolf Hitler - therefore my book "Mien Kampf" makes me an author.

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Same here.

Mein Kampf, by the way, you ignorant Blackpool bastard.

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Quote: Monkey Woods

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Quote: Duncan Whitehead

I regard myself as a silly little man with aspirations that I will never fulfill - I also believe I am the reincarnation of one Adolf Hitler - therefore my book "Mien Kampf" makes me an author.

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Same here.

Mein Kampf, by the way, you ignorant Blackpool bastard.

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Maybe he really meant Mien, as in Mean Kampf (Mean Battle), after all Earl is an aristocrat tea drinker! Monks you're so pedantic

I do all things at once whilst sucking my thumbs!

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Quote: Jaggedone

Monks you're so pedantic

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It's so nice of you to say that!

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Quote: Frankie The J

QM: I certainly see your point. But as we own the copyright authority for what we write here that Mark e-publishes, we are all authors.

The distinction I seek may be too nebulous. I've been published all of my life in newspapers, magazines, military history journals and the like. When I was giving talks on one naval battle, or Marine engagement, or US Civil War campaign, I'd often be introduced as the author of such and such.

But my first editor told me he hired me to be a writer, not a journalist. And my first photography master told me to be a craftsman and "allow the art to be discovered by the viewer."

As I read the spoofs here, I am constantly amazed at the true talent of most of the writers. Lately we've written about snippets--in the industry they are called fillers, but not in an off-hand or derogatory way at all. Writing short prose is most difficult when done well.

I don't know. I do know, too. I am a bed wetting, writer who plays with myself too much.

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OMG thats Gold " In the industry they are called fluffers, but not in a off hand or derogatory way" LOLOLOLOL !!!

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Quote: Morse

Frankie: Funny newspaper story.

My first job after VN was as a reporter for a local newspaper covering Paterson, NJ, right after Hurricane Carter was indicted for a murder many said he didn't commit.

I always wrote, but never took any journalism classes. My editor was breaking me in and handed me a lead: "give me 3 takes on this" he said.

I proceded to write the story with 3 different slants.

I soon learned he meant "give me 3 pages on this, Shit head!"

Clark Kent

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"my editor was breaking me in"

i feel sorry for you !LOLOl

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Quote: Monkey Woods

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Quote: Duncan Whitehead

I regard myself as a silly little man with aspirations that I will never fulfill - I also believe I am the reincarnation of one Adolf Hitler - therefore my book "Mein Kampf" makes me an author.

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Same here.

Mein Kampf, by the way, you ignorant Blackpool bastard.

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Yes - after being dead for so long I forgot - ah yes - My Struggle - I wonder if they will ever do the movie?

Hitler movies are always so shite. There's nothing that can recreate the real Hitler. Why do they try? So tacky.

I've read Mein Kampf, Dunc. It's a rambling affair, a bit like an outpouring of spontaneous thoughts, dictated to aides, and bashed-out 'whilst the iron was hot'.

Not bedtime reading. Or for the beach.

When my father was in the U.S. Army back in the mid 1950's, he was working at White Sands Proving Grounds (later White Sands Missile Range). One day, two MP's (Military Police) walked into the barracks and physically picked up a soldier that was laying on his bunk and reading a book. He was taken to the stockade and held a few days before his court martial, where they gave him a dishonorable discharge and threw him out of the Army.

His crime? He was reading Mein Kampfh (or however you spell it).

The next time they had a liberty, my father and every other soldier in that barracks was 60 miles away in El Paso, Texas searching every bookstore for a copy of that book or The Communist Manifesto.

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Quote: Monkey Woods

Hitler movies are always so shite. There's nothing that can recreate the real Hitler. Why do they try? So tacky.

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So true

They always seem to use a overly reserved British actor instead of an insane Austrian Jew from Blackpool, at least that's what I'm getting from this thread.

Did your read the book about Hitler taking a crap.

Mein Dumpff

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Quote: victor nicholas


Did your read the book about Hitler taking a crap.

Mein Dumpff

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There's also the one about the time he had a cold.

Mein Coughf

I recollect a kraut Hitler film, about his last days in the bunker I think it was called Hitlers Letzte Tage or something like that, excellent actually!

I always was amused by the thought of Hitler and his cronies letting their hair down at the Eagles' Nest.

Did they drink Pimm's and play croquet?

Or was there a Toastmaster's meeting in Munich in 1929 where someone said.

"I would like to introduce Adolf Hitler who is going to be making his ice-breaker speech today"

...

"My that was vigorous wasn't it."

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Quote: victor nicholas

I always was amused by the thought of Hitler and his cronies letting their hair down at the Eagles' Nest.

Did they drink Pimm's and play croquet?

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No VC they played the Aryan Brotherhoods version of monopoly called "Schnell to ze Gas chamber and don't stop at Go" also they enjoyed a bevvy called "Jewish Smokerise" over Belsen!

Aren't we all "Muck" Rakers of a sort?

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Quote: Philbert of Macadamia

Aren't we all "Muck" Rakers of a sort?

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YES!

I recently did a spoof story WAS ADOLF HITLER A GOOD JOKE TELLER?
The story was about Adolf Hitler, Heinrich Himmler, Herman Goering, and Josef Goebbels sitting around after hours in the Chancellory building getting snockered and telling jokes. The premise was, that the office dictaphone was accidently left 'on' and the impromptu party was recorded and the wax cylinder found 65 years later, translated and printed....Here's a take:

Hitler: Why don't those Jewish cannibals eat Germans?
Himmler: Got me mein Furher!
Hitler: Because we give then gas!

<Fists pound table-glasses rattle as foursome roars in laughter>

Goering: That was funnier than a screen door on an Italian U-boat!

<laughter>

Hitler: Stop it! Stop it! You're killing me

Goebbels: OK OK Did you know London refuses to publish pictures of Churchill with a cigar in his mouth?

Hitler: Why Herman?

Goebbels: Because of the explicit sexual images law!

<sound of body hitting floor and skidding chair-Howls of laughter>

Story wasn't published-Mark yanked it