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Monkey Woods
Dirty Ape
Monkey Woods

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Registered: 29 Dec 06

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Posted: 8 Aug 09 03:23 - Edited By: Monkey Woods, 8 Aug 09 03:24
...but now it's too late. It's ACTUAL NEWS!

Read This Now

It just makes me wonder, if it has happened once, couldn't it have happened 'more than once'?

In fact, it leads me to wonder just how many babies, as well as children and adults, have been 'laid to rest' in a coffin, only to 'wake up' after they have been put in the ground.

Chilling, isn't it, to think that you could nod off after a few beers too many, give some crackpot doctor the idea that your system had thrown the towel in, and end up being prematurely buried?

Fergus McCarthy
Devil's Avocado
Fergus McCarthy

Location: Hibernia.
Registered: 17 Jan 07

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Posted: 8 Aug 09 03:48
Now you have me paranoid.

I had a couple of beers last night and I've just woken up on the chair.
Now I'm afraid to go to bed.



Monkey Woods
Dirty Ape
Monkey Woods

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Posted: 8 Aug 09 04:33 - Edited By: Monkey Woods, 8 Aug 09 04:34
You've probably already died, but are not aware of it.

You are currently in some trance-like state, thinking that you have just woken up and gone on the Spoof, when in reality, your wife is wailing away behind you as they nail you in.

Wake up, man! Wake up! Before it's too late!

Actually, if you suspect this scenario may happen to you, there is a precaution you can always take before you set out on your drinking trip:

Take some tools with you.

smurfette
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smurfette

Location: tulsa, oklahoma, usa
Registered: 22 Jul 09

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Posted: 8 Aug 09 06:39

Quote: Monkey Woods

...but now it's too late. It's ACTUAL NEWS!

Read This Now

It just makes me wonder, if it has happened once, couldn't it have happened 'more than once'?

In fact, it leads me to wonder just how many babies, as well as children and adults, have been 'laid to rest' in a coffin, only to 'wake up' after they have been put in the ground.

Chilling, isn't it, to think that you could nod off after a few beers too many, give some crackpot doctor the idea that your system had thrown the towel in, and end up being prematurely buried?


**********************************************************

i sure hope the little guy makes it! what a little fighter!

i have a heart arrhythmia that can cause my heart rate to jump up to over 400 beats a minute, a condition called torsade de points, which can cause my heart rate to be undetectable. it is the same condition that has caused a lot of athletes to die during competition without a previous history of heart problems. i am terrified of being declared dead when i am still alive. i guess it pretty much accounts for my insomnia.



Monkey Woods
Dirty Ape
Monkey Woods

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Posted: 8 Aug 09 07:51
Leave my email address on your person for the medics to contact me when, and if, you 'die', and I'll come and give you the Kiss of Life. (I'll be using my tongue.)

If I can't revive you after about, say, 15 minutes, I think we can safely say you'll be dead.

Fair enough?

monkeywoodshull@gmail.com

Fergus McCarthy
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Fergus McCarthy

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Posted: 8 Aug 09 18:45 - Edited By: Fergus McCarthy, 8 Aug 09 18:47

Quote: Monkey Woods

Leave my email address on your person for the medics to contact me when, and if, you 'die', and I'll come and give you the Kiss of Life. (I'll be using my tongue.)

If I can't revive you after about, say, 15 minutes, I think we can safely say you'll be dead.

Fair enough?

monkeywoodshull@gmail.com





I'm still alive but I'll write it on my arm tonight with permanent marker, I still have beer.

Thanks Monkey, it's nice to know some one cares.



Fergus McCarthy
Devil's Avocado
Fergus McCarthy

Location: Hibernia.
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Posted: 8 Aug 09 18:54
I'll keep some breath freshener in my back pocket, for both of us.

Make sure you shave.

Monkey Woods
Dirty Ape
Monkey Woods

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Posted: 9 Aug 09 05:55
I was talking to Becca, but I suppose you'll do.

smurfette
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smurfette

Location: tulsa, oklahoma, usa
Registered: 22 Jul 09

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Posted: 10 Aug 09 00:37

Quote: Monkey Woods

I was talking to Becca, but I suppose you'll do.


*************************************************************

i was beginning to wonder just exactly how dirty of an ape you were!

thanks for the offer......

do feel free to administer chest compressions while you're at it, ok?

peace

becca



Monkey Woods
Dirty Ape
Monkey Woods

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Posted: 10 Aug 09 03:08

Quote: smurfette

i was beginning to wonder just exactly how dirty of an ape you were!




For an ape, I'm fairly clean, but for a human, I'm fucking filthy.

And I've got a massive pair of hairy gonads.

Don't lose the email address.

smurfette
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smurfette

Location: tulsa, oklahoma, usa
Registered: 22 Jul 09

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Posted: 10 Aug 09 04:10

Quote: Monkey Woods


Quote: smurfette

i was beginning to wonder just exactly how dirty of an ape you were!




For an ape, I'm fairly clean, but for a human, I'm fucking filthy.

And I've got a massive pair of hairy gonads.

Don't lose the email address.


**********************************************************

i've got a loverly pair of coconuts (38 d's to be exact)

that'll need a LOT of compressing to get my heart started back up!

have you heard of the southern rock group jackyl?

they have song called "dirty little mind"; my friends claim it was written about me

i love their lumberjack song too

so i guess i'm pretty filthy for a human too

i'm at CreatureoftheNight@ymail.com

(yeah, as in the rocky horror picture show; j.o. was ridiculously off base about me)





Monkey Woods
Dirty Ape
Monkey Woods

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Posted: 10 Aug 09 04:30
Yeah, and a Tulsa bitch too, huh?

Have you seen the film Rumble Fish? No reason, just thought I'd ask.

Shall we go to PMs, or are you happy to play out this whole scenario in front of the leering crowds?


You filthy fucking trollop.

smurfette
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smurfette

Location: tulsa, oklahoma, usa
Registered: 22 Jul 09

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Posted: 10 Aug 09 04:47

Quote: Monkey Woods

Yeah, and a Tulsa bitch too, huh?

Have you seen the film Rumble Fish? No reason, just thought I'd ask.

Shall we go to PMs, or are you happy to play out this whole scenario in front of the leering crowds?


You filthy fucking trollop.


**********************************************************

wouldn't bother me in the least........

i am the worst sort of exhibitionist.......

i was formerly engaged to a member of a british punk band; i scared the living shit out of him (no, my name is NOT nancy, tyvm ....... i actually do have a BIT of class about me, in addition to one hell of a pedigree)

umm, i was here when they filmed the outsiders; the drag race was taped about 3 miles from my home at the time

so i am quite familiar with rumble fish as well

i understand tulsa has a crap reputation; i was neither born nor raised here

i have raised a lot of hell here in the past, though

becca





Monkey Woods
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Monkey Woods

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Posted: 10 Aug 09 04:57

Quote: smurfette

i was formerly engaged to a member of a british punk band;




Which one?


Quote: smurfette

umm, i was here when they filmed the outsiders; the drag race was taped about 3 miles from my home at the time

so i am quite familiar with rumble fish as well




Hmmm... another SE Hinton book. I like that. I'm liking you more and more, Becca.


Quote: smurfette

i understand tulsa has a crap reputation; i was neither born nor raised here




Shit! You haven't seen where I just came from!


Quote: smurfette

i have raised a lot of hell




Ah, but have you sucked much 'bell'?


Oops, sorry. That was uncalled for, and I wholeheatedly apologise.

smurfette
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smurfette

Location: tulsa, oklahoma, usa
Registered: 22 Jul 09

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Posted: 10 Aug 09 05:58

Quote: Monkey Woods


Quote: smurfette

i was formerly engaged to a member of a british punk band;




Which one?
*********************************************************
i prefer not to say, as we parted on quite unpleasant terms; his parting shot to me was "i can well understand you're cheating on me when we are half a world apart, but not when we are in the same bloody town"

he pretty much hates my guts, and rightfully so

let's just say his mates LOATHE a certain recently deceased artist


Quote: smurfette

umm, i was here when they filmed the outsiders; the drag race was taped about 3 miles from my home at the time

so i am quite familiar with rumble fish as well




Hmmm... another SE Hinton book. I like that. I'm liking you more and more, Becca.

***********************************************************

and i appreciate the fact you actually are incredibly literature, despite the fact you refer to yourself as a monkey and dislike my precious arts so much!

***********************************************************


Quote: smurfette

i understand tulsa has a crap reputation; i was neither born nor raised here




Shit! You haven't seen where I just came from!
***********************************************************

give me a hint! i may well have lived there, at least if it is on the north american continent; if elsewhere, then i guess not

*********************************************************

Quote: smurfette

i have raised a lot of hell




Ah, but have you sucked much 'bell'?


Oops, sorry. That was uncalled for, and I wholeheatedly apologise.


**********************************************************

wouldn't YOU like to know!

thanks for the advance apology; you seem to be quite the gentleman, mr m.w.

peace

becca

Monkey Woods
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Monkey Woods

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Posted: 10 Aug 09 06:09

Quote: smurfette


***********************************************************

give me a hint! i may well have lived there, at least if it is on the north american continent; if elsewhere, then i guess not

*********************************************************





Dudley, West Midlands, UK.

Cross it off your 'Places To Visit' list. Trust me.

smurfette
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smurfette

Location: tulsa, oklahoma, usa
Registered: 22 Jul 09

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Posted: 10 Aug 09 07:16

Quote: Monkey Woods


Quote: smurfette


***********************************************************

give me a hint! i may well have lived there, at least if it is on the north american continent; if elsewhere, then i guess not

*********************************************************





Dudley, West Midlands, UK.

Cross it off your 'Places To Visit' list. Trust me.


**********************************************************

i would truly love to travel to scotland to visit the landmarks but i am TERRIFIED of flying over water and even more so of ships; my father is quite insane - he has been working on a boat FOREVER and intends to sail there himself!

would you laugh at me if i exposed my complete and total ignorance of geography to ask where on earth (or in england) west midlands is exactly?

peace

becca

Jaggedone
Banned
Posted: 10 Aug 09 15:42 - Edited By: Jaggedone, 10 Aug 09 16:58
It's pretty obvious the Bang-KOK air is effecting our Monks!
Sweat and balls more like!

The West Midlands is Wales, just been on my hols there, rained pigs and sheep!!

Monkey Woods
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Monkey Woods

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Posted: 10 Aug 09 16:23
Dudley is about 10 miles west of Birmingham.

Google it.

If there are any images on your google result, try not to look into the eyes of any local people. It's important.

smurfette
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smurfette

Location: tulsa, oklahoma, usa
Registered: 22 Jul 09

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Posted: 10 Aug 09 17:15

Quote: Monkey Woods

Dudley is about 10 miles west of Birmingham.

Google it.

If there are any images on your google result, try not to look into the eyes of any local people. It's important.


************************************************************

oh my gawd, you actually lived in the village of the damned?!

i bet you suffered frequent migraines with all those sets of little red, glowing eyes staring at you!

Monkey Woods
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Monkey Woods

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Posted: 10 Aug 09 17:20

Quote: smurfette

the village of the damned




This one belongs in my favourite films list. The original, not the Chris Reeve remake.

Thanks for reminding me of it.

I'll thank you properly when we meet. I'm going to bed now.

I'll speak to you again tomorrow. Be dressed appropriately.

smurfette
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smurfette

Location: tulsa, oklahoma, usa
Registered: 22 Jul 09

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Posted: 10 Aug 09 17:20

Quote: Jaggedone

It's pretty obvious the Bang-KOK air is effecting our Monks!
Sweat and balls more like!

The West Midlands is Wales, just been on my hols there, rained pigs and sheep!!


*************************************************************

jai ho, j.o.!

did you go to visit the relics?

"The oldest condoms found (rather than just pictures or descriptions) were discovered in Dudley Castle and date from 1640"

(do feel free to write an absolutely FILTHY spoof about this little factoid!)

peace

becca


Jaggedone
Banned
Posted: 10 Aug 09 17:51

Quote: smurfette


Quote: Jaggedone

It's pretty obvious the Bang-KOK air is effecting our Monks!
Sweat and balls more like!

The West Midlands is Wales, just been on my hols there, rained pigs and sheep!!


*************************************************************

jai ho, j.o.!

did you go to visit the relics?

"The oldest condoms found (rather than just pictures or descriptions) were discovered in Dudley Castle and date from 1640"

(do feel free to write an absolutely FILTHY spoof about this little factoid!)

peace

becca


Thanks for the tip, but to busy praying to write about such filth!

BTW have you anything to do with the Ronettes or the Sufragettes, or even the Roubettes (Sugar Baby Love, aagh, aaagh!)?

smurfette
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smurfette

Location: tulsa, oklahoma, usa
Registered: 22 Jul 09

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Posted: 11 Aug 09 13:41

Quote: Jaggedone


Quote: smurfette


Quote: Jaggedone

It's pretty obvious the Bang-KOK air is effecting our Monks!
Sweat and balls more like!

The West Midlands is Wales, just been on my hols there, rained pigs and sheep!!


*************************************************************

jai ho, j.o.!

did you go to visit the relics?

"The oldest condoms found (rather than just pictures or descriptions) were discovered in Dudley Castle and date from 1640"

(do feel free to write an absolutely FILTHY spoof about this little factoid!)

peace

becca


Thanks for the tip, but to busy praying to write about such filth!

BTW have you anything to do with the Ronettes or the Sufragettes, or even the Roubettes (Sugar Baby Love, aagh, aaagh!)?[/blockquote

*********************************************************

oh, gag, no, j.o.; i do not care for the ronettes and their music was a bit before my time, thank god

i don't know anything about suffragettes other than they fought for women's right to vote about a hundred years ago

i had to google roubettes as i had never heard of them

the first "girl" singer i remember hearing was cass elliot (solo, after michelle and the papas)

i am still amazed by her voice and consider her one of the best female singers ever

i rate her right up there with cyndi lauper

so, no, i do not care much at all for the ronettes; i have absolutely nothing in common with them except that my screen name also ends in "ette"; i guess maybe that was that the comparison you were aiming for...

as for the roubettes, it seems like the time they were around was probably about the time i was busy listening to black sabbath, pink floyd, david bowie, queen, and the sex pistols, to name a few

i have always had rather diverse tastes musically, however, i have NEVER been a fan of pop music, and i seriously doubt i ever will be (the choice of michael jackson as king is quite enough to cause me to run screaming in the opposite direction)

peace,

becca


Jaggedone
Banned
Posted: 11 Aug 09 16:09
Sorry Smurfette (excuse the 3 degreeing but are you also blue?)

Like some of your music tastes, the Pistols, early Bowie, etc!

My origins in music are also underground, the Velvets, Joy Division, KIlling Joke, etc!

BTW, I spelt the R(o)ubettes wrong, poppy 70's band and a load of crap!


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