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victor nicholas
Doc
victor nicholas

Location: Suwanee River
Registered: 20 Apr 08

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Writer's Profile
Posted: 18 May 09 02:48
Which writer most reminds you of roadkill?

Q: Roadkill
Jesus Budda
0%
Jesus Budda
0%
Jesus Budda
0%
All of the Above
62%
Can I write-in Jesus Budda?
37%
There have been 8 responses to this poll
Jaggedone
Banned
Posted: 18 May 09 16:31 - Edited By: Jaggedone, 18 May 09 16:32

Quote: victor nicholas

Which writer most reminds you of roadkill?

I've entered my vote and the only dilemma dangling like the sword of Damocles over my perforated head is:
Roadkill usually can be cooked and eaten, what does one do with a JB after being found dead roadside, certainly one for the JO/CIA (Jaggedone's Cockroach Infiltration Army or even better, MI5 Maggot's-Intestines Infantry 5*****)


Jesus Budda
Two sheets to the wind
Posted: 18 May 09 17:48
What are you trying to say, Victor?

Use your words.
You know enjoy a good giggle now and then so why not spit it out and say whats going on in your little mind, my lovely little friend.



Jaggedone
Banned
Posted: 18 May 09 18:07
What are you trying to say, Victor?

Use your words.
You know enjoy a good giggle now and then so why not spit it out and say whats going on in your little mind, my lovely little friend.


Maybe I can be of assistance here JB, the reason for the poll is quite obvious, he wishes to spit you out just like you mentioned. I can't swallow roadkill either.

Jesus Budda
Two sheets to the wind
Posted: 18 May 09 18:21

Quote: Jaggedone

What are you trying to say, Victor?

Use your words.
You know enjoy a good giggle now and then so why not spit it out and say whats going on in your little mind, my lovely little friend.


Maybe I can be of assistance here JB, the reason for the poll is quite obvious, he wishes to spit you out just like you mentioned. I can't swallow roadkill either.


Spit me out?
Victor?
I don't think thats possible.
I really, really don't.

Victor's a swallower.



Jaggedone
Banned
Posted: 18 May 09 18:28
Spit me out?
Victor?
I don't think thats possible.
I really, really don't.

Victor's a swallower.


JD without interfering in your intimate love affair with VC, this could well be the end written in a hidden message. whilst offering you up as the only candidate for being roadkill, there seems to be a certain lack of hidden agenda and a definite willingness for VC to search for swallowing ecstasy elsewhere!

Jesus Budda
Two sheets to the wind
Posted: 18 May 09 18:31

Quote: Jaggedone

Spit me out?
Victor?
I don't think thats possible.
I really, really don't.

Victor's a swallower.


JD without interfering in your intimate love affair with VC, this could well be the end written in a hidden message. whilst offering you up as the only candidate for being roadkill, there seems to be a certain lack of hidden agenda and a definite willingness for VC to search for swallowing ecstasy elsewhere!


I'll just have to wait and see what happens tonight then, I guess.



Jaggedone
Banned
Posted: 18 May 09 18:34
I'll just have to wait and see what happens tonight then, I guess.


Keep us all informed, we are intrigued!

victor nicholas
Doc
victor nicholas

Location: Suwanee River
Registered: 20 Apr 08

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Posted: 18 May 09 19:40 - Edited By: victor nicholas, 18 May 09 19:42
Have you voted yet JB?

If not you can send your vote to me in confidence and I will vote for you as a proxy.

Given a large sample set results are accurate to within plus minus 2-5%.

Once the final results are in you will be the first to be contacted.

In the meantime stay off highways while wearing fur.

Victor

Jaggedone
Banned
Posted: 18 May 09 19:49

In the meantime stay off highways while wearing "Venus in fur."

Victor
no JO

victor nicholas
Doc
victor nicholas

Location: Suwanee River
Registered: 20 Apr 08

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Posted: 18 May 09 20:33
Not to discourage you JO but JB is showing a strong lead in the polls right now and barring unforseen cirucmstances stands a good shot on winning the whole thing.

Not so sure the old boy has won anything in his life.

It might just cheer him up.

He must feel great right now!

Morse
-- --- .-. ... .
Posted: 18 May 09 21:00
Doctor: no place to WIRE IN a write in candidate?

A real hacker wants to know.

Thanks for your prompt attention to this matter.

Recipe to Follow.

"Bam!"

Hot on the Griddle/ Morse

victor nicholas
Doc
victor nicholas

Location: Suwanee River
Registered: 20 Apr 08

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Posted: 18 May 09 21:30 - Edited By: victor nicholas, 18 May 09 21:31

Quote: Morse

Doctor: no place to WIRE IN a write in candidate?

A real hacker wants to know.

Thanks for your prompt attention to this matter.

Recipe to Follow.

"Bam!"

Hot on the Griddle/ Morse


Morse

If you want to be bold just list the candidate.

If not just send me a message and I will post the results annonymously.

Please note:

If it is Jesus Budda you wish to list as a write-in candidate you just have to hit on one the preset responses.

I hope to tablulate results later tonight to mark this as part of the annual Victoria Day celebrations.

It will be, "The First Annual TheSpoof.com Victoria Day Which Writer Most Reminds You of Roadkill Competition"

I am hopeful that Mark can donate a prize and that the winner will honour the title by their actions throughout the year and that no sordid stories from the past will surface to dishonour the winner or the competition.

Respectfully,

Competiton Chair for 2009

Victor Nicholas

Jaggedone
Banned
Posted: 19 May 09 15:45

Quote: victor nicholas

Not to discourage you JO but JB is showing a strong lead in the polls right now and barring unforseen cirucmstances stands a good shot on winning the whole thing.

Not so sure the old boy has won anything in his life.

It might just cheer him up.

He must feel great right now!


Although the chances of him winning were pretty stacked against him (cough, cough) in the face of his superb achievement he is remaining decidely silent, maybe he is overwhelmed by all of the adoration!

Jesus Budda
Two sheets to the wind
Posted: 19 May 09 17:24
Did I win yet?

Victor still sucks, Jaggedone, just in case you were wondering.


Jaggedone
Banned
Posted: 19 May 09 17:59

Quote: Jesus Budda

Did I win yet?

Victor still sucks, Jaggedone, just in case you were wondering.

I bet he's sucked dry by now, a desert sandstorm is whipping up behind you.

Jesus Budda
Two sheets to the wind
Posted: 19 May 09 18:13

Quote: Jaggedone


Quote: Jesus Budda

Did I win yet?

Victor still sucks, Jaggedone, just in case you were wondering.

I bet he's sucked dry by now, a desert sandstorm is whipping up behind you.


Whys that then?

Elaborate further.




Jaggedone
Banned
Posted: 20 May 09 10:32
I bet he's sucked dry by now, a desert sandstorm is whipping up behind you.


Whys that then?

Elaborate further.(Einstein couldn't tie his shoelaces up, I'm sure you're quite efficient at that task)
as in desert, and whipping your naughty backside, JD just wanting to get horny on JO's quotes, cheapster! (saves buying Playboy, in your case Playgirl!)

Jesus Budda
Two sheets to the wind
Posted: 20 May 09 17:15

Quote: Jaggedone

I bet he's sucked dry by now, a desert sandstorm is whipping up behind you.


Whys that then?

Elaborate further.(Einstein couldn't tie his shoelaces up, I'm sure you're quite efficient at that task)
as in desert, and whipping your naughty backside, JD just wanting to get horny on JO's quotes, cheapster! (saves buying Playboy, in your case Playgirl!)


Oh.
Thats nice.
Good for you.



Madame Bitters
Sweeter than sugar
Madame Bitters

Location: The heartland of America
Registered: 20 Nov 08

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Posted: 20 May 09 18:43
Why don't you start writing your responses in pig-latin or like that Jumble word game in the newspapers, JO?

Using symbols might be fun for you too. <#^ **>!

victor nicholas
Doc
victor nicholas

Location: Suwanee River
Registered: 20 Apr 08

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Posted: 20 May 09 23:16 - Edited By: victor nicholas, 20 May 09 23:17
Results are in and have been tabulated by the election committee.

Jesus Budda o%
Jesus Budda 0%
Jesus Budda 0%
All of the Above 71%
Can I write-in Jesus Budda 28%

Officially the winner is "All of the Above" with second place being "Can I write-in Jesus Budda".

As no writer matches the names of the first or second place winner the only eligible candidate and winner is Jesus Budda with 0% of all votes, despite 1% of all votes being unnacounted for.

Mr. Budda is requested to attend the official presentation of the award in the roadkill capital of North America, Wawa, Ontario on July 1st of this year in front of the giant Canada Goose statue.

The award includes a trophy called the Lowton which resembles the Oscar only is made of stryene and has a bobble head with a thin mustache.

The award will be presented by Canada's country gentleman Tommy Hunter.

A brief accepance speach will be expected.

Please indicate whether or not you will be able to attend.

RSVP Mr. Mark Lowton at TheSpoof.com

Jesus Budda
Two sheets to the wind
Posted: 21 May 09 17:18

Quote: victor nicholas

As no writer matches the names of the first or second place winner the only eligible candidate and winner is Jesus Budda with 0% of all votes, despite 1% of all votes being unnacounted for.




I won!

I won?

I?

I'm so surprised!
I'd like to thank the Academy of spoof writers, all the voters, and non-voters.
I'd like to thank myself.
And Myslef.

In fact, I'll thank myself and myslef right no : thank you me and other me.

I'd like to thank Vitor for compiling this wonderful thingy. And Jaggedone for his feeble attempts at.... whatever he's attempting.

And Madame Bitters for the tea. Lovely tea.

Thank you all. And to all a good night.




Now, what happened?




Jaggedone
Banned
Posted: 22 May 09 16:27
Correction time:
I'd like to thank Vi(c)tor for compiling this wonderful thingy. And Jaggedone for his (superb) attempts at.... whatever he's attempting (nothing actually).

Obviously you were so excited at winning something, trembling at the knees, you made a complete hash of your spelling attempts, nevermind, we understand, don't bend to low whilst tying your dashing new shoelaces!

Jaggedone
Banned
Posted: 22 May 09 17:29
Why don't you start writing your responses in pig-latin or like that Jumble word game in the newspapers, JO?

Pig-latin, no, but I was once asked to organise the Times crossword, unfortunately no pratt who read the Times could make head or tail of the clues, hence, got the boot, big time.
I was once told by God (who?) that transparency leads to confusion so I became a Muslim, Buddah, Sikh, Catholic, Protestant, Anti-Christ and also studied the "Muddy Waters" Bible of Nigger Blues and eventually ended up being the first coloured member of the KKK, please refer my problems to JB, we both need help!


Jesus Budda
Two sheets to the wind
Posted: 22 May 09 17:35 - Edited By: Jesus Budda, 22 May 09 17:42

Quote: Jaggedone

Correction time:
I'd like to thank Vi(c)tor for compiling this wonderful thingy. And Jaggedone for his (retarded) attempts at.... whatever he's attempting (wanking backwards).

Obviously you were so excited at winning something, trembling at the knees, you made a complete hash of your spelling attempts, nevermind, we understand, don't bend to low whilst tying your dashing new shoelaces!


Everything I wrote was exactly as I wanted it to be.

Victor is Vitor.
You are feeble.

Accept and move on, my dear emaciated friend.


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