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An old man goes into a drug store to buy some Viagra
"Can I have 6 tablets, cut in quarters?"
"I can cut them for you," said Dan the pharmacist,
"but a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection. '
"I am 96" said the old man, "I don't want an erection.
I just want it sticking out far enough so I don't piss on my
slippers."

The oldies are the goldies.

Cheers Buck, still laughing over the I am not happy dwarf gag.

Regards

Skoob

While you're at it . . .

Some years ago, Stan married an attractive woman, Marilyn, half his age, in a small Newfoundland community.

After several months, Marilyn complained that she had never climaxed during sex and according to her Grandmother, all Newfie women are entitled to a climax once in a while. So, to resolve the problem, they went to see the Veterinarian since there was no trustworthy doctor anywhere in Burin. The Vet didn't have a clue, but he did recall how, during the hot summer, his Mother and Father, would fan a cow that was having difficulty breeding, with a big towel. This would cool her down and make her relax. So the Vet told them to hire a strong, virile, young man to wave a big towel over them while they were having sex. This, the Vet said, would cause the young wife to cool down, relax, then climax.

So the couple hired a strong young man from Marystown to wave that big towel over them as the Vet suggested. After many efforts, Marilyn still had not climaxed so they went back to the Vet.

The Vet said for Marilyn to change partners and let the young man have sex with her while Stan waved the big towel. They tried it that night and Marilyn went into wild, screaming, ear-splitting climaxes, one right after the other for about two and a half hours.

When it was over, Stan looked down at the exhausted young man and in a boasting voice said: "And that, my son, is how you wave a towel!"

Pretty good that, Vic.

Thanks Monkey.

It took me awhile to figure out the Newfoundlanders were writing most of these things, here's another . . .

Canada's worst air disaster occurred today when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Newfoundland.

Newfie search and rescue workers have recovered 826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775' he said.

'Very good!' Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?'

Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863' said Chandrasekhar.

The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do.'

She heard a loud whisper: 'F*ck the Indians,' 'Who said that?' she demanded.

Chandrasekhar put his hand up. 'General Custer, 1862.'

At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'

The teacher glares around and asks 'All right! Now, who said that?'

Again, Chandrasekhar says, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.'

Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!'

Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!'

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said 'You little . If you say anything else, I'll kill you.'

Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, ' Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him- 2004.'

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh , we're screwed!'

And Chandrasekhar said quietly, "I think it was the American people, November 4, 2008."

A good fishing story Buck!

What do you catch down there anyway?

---

Quote: BuckwheatsButt

An old man goes into a drug store to buy some Viagra
"Can I have 6 tablets, cut in quarters?"
"I can cut them for you," said Dan the pharmacist,
"but a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection. '
"I am 96" said the old man, "I don't want an erection.
I just want it sticking out far enough so I don't piss on my
slippers."

---

I guess you all missed this then

It's completely identical.

Either Buck is MsTerri or you both get your jokes from the same place.

Maybe....did you find the joke funny?