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ED: Note: This guy is giving a bad name to all Spoofers, and for sure wouldn't be allowed aboard the Buggerall...Great Prose! See what happens when you abandon your principals and just go for the money!!! HAARG!


Gigolo Allegedly Tried to Extort Millions From BMW Heiress
Sunday, March 08, 2009
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Steamy love letters from a Swiss gigolo to Germany's richest woman have revealed how he seduced her and tried to extort millions after secretly filming their lovemaking.

The letters and telephone transcripts, which were leaked last week, show how the BMW heiress Susanne Klatten was drawn to Helg Sgarbi, a professional gigolo whose letters are filled with adolescent erotica.

The letters and tapes will form a key part of the prosecution evidence in Sgarbi's trial for fraud and blackmail in Munich tomorrow.

"Dearest, do you remember how we fused in lust on the beach and you groaned loudly with passion?" wrote Sgarbi, 44, a lawyer.

Poems addressed to Klatten, 46, and other wealthy women, will be used by prosecutors to describe how he flattered his victims, some of whom were 50 years older than him.

"You are a very special lady, you live for love, and you are right to do so, because that is what life is all about," Sgarbi wrote in another letter.

Shameful! I'll bet copycats will be sending similar letters to Queen Mudder!

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Quote: BuckwheatsButt

Shameful! I'll bet copycats will be sending similar letters to Queen Mudder!

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Buck: have to ask MB , since she is in contact with JB, if he indeed is spending all his time trying to seduce RICH WOMEN with his earthly prose on his new Blog
"Trolling for Trollups".

Just sayin', you know?

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Quote: BuckwheatsButt

Shameful! I'll bet copycats will be sending similar letters to Queen Mudder!

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Buck: she's sent back tons already with editorial corrections including spelling, punctuation and medical clarifications marked in the margins.

She is now asking all contributors to submit their agonized prose in double space format so she can mark them up properly.

I also heard she is doing a brisk business in used sex stories amongst first semester Spoof Writers...little buggers are too young to have experienced their own adventures and now have to wank off to ours...don't know who winds up with the residuals....a bit messy, I would venture!

Morse

Morse, Buck,

Hi there.

I had a feeling that the pirate thing would be a winner. In my opinion it's going really well. The writing is A plus.

Just out of curiosity, how many hits is it getting?

Not that that is so important, it's fun to read.

Just curious.

I believe Fergus goes next. Can't wait.

Anchors aweigh!

Skoob

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Quote: Skoob1999

Morse, Buck,

Hi there.

I had a feeling that the pirate thing would be a winner. In my opinion it's going really well. The writing is A plus.

Just out of curiosity, how many hits is it getting?

Not that that is so important, it's fun to read.

Just curious.

I believe Fergus goes next. Can't wait.

Anchors aweigh!

Skoob

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Skoob: minimal magazine acknowledgment...but just wait till it comes out in paperback, and as usual a successful UK presentation on Masterpiece Theater prior to being watered down for the colonies, and then of course the film rights...unfortunately Greg Peck, Cary Grant, John Wayne and Kirk Douglas are all gone...hopefully Michael Caine can do a Cameo...don't know who will dance the horn pipe...probably have to do with the Irish Step Dance thing....


Hope all is well on the home front...let one of the writers know when you're ready to jump in!

Morse

I had in mind Marty Feldman to play the Captain's part....Too bad he's dead, but we probably could use him as another crewman since no one would know the difference anyway!

I had in mind Marty Feldman to play the Captain's part....Too bad he's dead, but we probably could use him as another crewman since no one would know the difference anyway! Didn't I just say this? Or is there an echo in here?

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Quote: BuckwheatsButt

I had in mind Marty Feldman to play the Captain's part....Too bad he's dead, but we probably could use him as another crewman since no one would know the difference anyway! Didn't I just say this? Or is there an echo in here?

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Pete and Repeat, just another cojoined character in the Spoof Worl.

Morse and Remorse.

Morse,

Refer to Keira Knightley/Pirate article in entertainment section.

Regards

Skoob

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Quote: Skoob1999

Morse,

Refer to Keira Knightley/Pirate article in entertainment section.

Regards

Skoob

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already read and dispatched to others in the universe!

Morse

Now, does this make sense to you......

A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you for free."
The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"

Bada boom!

Buck: Great minds etc...finished a story this morning on "The Hummer Tax"
being proposed in Massachusetts...should be right up your alley!

speaking of jokes, got this from the universe:

Man and woman meet at professional golf competition as spectators.
Have alot in common, start dating.
She remains a virgin, he thinkconsummations she's so hot he waits till honeymoon.
Prior to consummation she tells him the only man she had in her life was Tiger Woods.
He's cool with it..rich, great guy etc.
they consummate marriage, he gets up to call room service as he is now starved.
"Tiger wouldn't do THAT" she says, he says "What would Tiger do?"
She says, keep playing until he finishes the round."
He agrees....this goes on 4 more times..

Guy finally totally exhausted gets up one more time and picks up phone.
She asks again," who are you calling now?"

"Tiger Woods," he says gasping, "I need to know what's par for this hole!"

Tiger probably had to give him strokes!

Hello chaps.

A lifer recieved a letter from his wife in prison, complaining that she was suffering financial hardship.

Being tactful, he advised her that she was sitting on a fortune, so why not use it.

She wrote back saying:

"I tore the fucking couch to shreds and I can't find no fortune!"

Regards

Skoob

Don't get me at it guys.

You'll only hate me for it.

Regards

Skoob

Miss Piggy was teaching the kids about counting on Sesame Street, but never could get to 70. Bert and Ernie quickly asked if there was a problem and offered there help. She said that there was a problem, but she had it taken care of. It seems that every time she got to 69, she had a frog in her throat.

What's green and smells of bacon?

Kermit's dick.

Don't get me at it.

Regards

Skoob

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Quote: Skoob1999

What's green and smells of bacon?

Kermit's dick.

Don't get me at it.

Regards

Skoob

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Not only SHAMEFUL but disgusting as well...no jokes on board, PLEASE!

Morse

Told you not to get me at it...

Regards

Skoob

Skoob: any duck jokes, preferably one with more than 12 contributions?

Your Flock Mate,

Morse

PS: momentarily lost my train of thought...just thought MD fit the profile of the thread original topic......

Morse