Discussion Forum

She's bullying me again.

She wants to know why I spend so much time Spoofing and drinking beer.

SHE forgets that I often work 15 hour days.

It's good this innit, domestic rows in text. It's like Big Brudder but more cutting edge.

SHE SAYS: I almost got within six feet of the washing machine.

I SAY: That's a woman's job.

SHE SAYS : That strange noise coming from the kitchen, is the dishwasher.

I SAY: I thought YOU were the dishwasher.

SHE SAYS : We own an iron, it's kept under the stairs.

I SAY : I've seen that Wes Craven movie about people under stairs. Why would I want to use an iron anyway?

SHE SAYS : Bedding is not for life. It needs to be changed. Laundered, ironed, and shit.

I SAY: Just buy new bedding. This whole laundry thing is overrated.

SHE SAYS : It's a wonder I'm not too tired to shit and she rests her case.

Who won the argument?

Regards Skoob

Don't let her win, Skoob, don't let her win.

I know what I wanna say, but I know I don't wanna say it.

But then I am just going through my second marriage break-up, and already thinking about if it will happen a third time (the break-up, not the marriage,).

Perhaps it's me and not them.

Don't listen to me Skoob.

No, in fact listen to me and do the complete opposite.

godinheavenhelpme....................

birbee

Let's all go round to Monkey's for a cup of tea and a slice of cake. Ardal O'Hanlon - sorry I mean Fergus McCarthy tells me it's very therapeutic.

Not Buckwheat's gaff - he'll have us doing pressups and shit.

Or Jesus Budda's gaff - he'll be encouraging us to do gay things with cats.

On a serious note, if your marriage is on the rocks either sort it out or go hitch hiking around Europe.

Worked for me.

Regards

Skoob

Monkey's for a cup of tea would sound good, but I'm not a big fan of tea.
Does he keep coffee in, do you know?

I have taken your advice on board re my failing marriage and have decided it is currently not the right climate to go hitch-hiking around Europe (btw, does that include England? Are we classed as part of Europe? Why do we say we are going to Europe, but we never say we are going to England as we are already here (and there(Europe))) neither economically nor climatically.

Therefore she is on her way to yours to help Mrs Skoob with the ironing, not that she has had any practice, she is an Essex girl, the only thing she is good at is swearing.

I'm moving out, I'm going to rent a flat in Doncaster and enjoy my twilight years in peace..................

birbee

Not Doncaster.

York, okay, but Doncaster?

Aaaaarrrrgh!!!!

WTF you marry an Essex girl for anyway?

They're only good at getting drunk and having shambolic scuffles at last orders.

I'll tell her when she gets here to help out with the ironing. You need to put your foot down with a firm hand.

Sympathetically Yours

Skoob

Just listen at you two! Talking endlessly about domestic chores, and other such shit.

Whatever happened to the Modern Man? The one who takes everything in his stride, and assumes control of the home by his insistence at doing everything in his power ti maintain his lofty position as Master of the House.

Women's Work? You jest! Any work is man's work, including the ironing.




That's why I get my 13-year-old son to do it.

I tried the same thing with my elder son.
He kept burning himself and claiming it was because he 'is only 8'.

I think he was doing it on purpose to get out of doing it.

He now lives in the dog kennel in the back garden (that'll learn him).

Monkey,

Just read your post to Mrs. Skoob.

She says that's 5* - brilliant.

Best Regards

Skoob

My son just turned 16 and has his drivers license.

If he wants to borrow my car, all I have to do is say" "wash the dishes" or "take out the trash" or something like that. It really helps with the household chores.

It's gonna suck when he gets his own car.

5* to you too birbee from Mrs Skoob.

Jammy bastard.

She hasn't given me 5* since 1993

Regards

Skoob

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Quote: Skoob1999

Monkey,

Just read your post to Mrs. Skoob.

She says she loves you, and would like to meet up real soon.

Skoob

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Aw, Skoob. Come on, that's embarrassing. You know full well I don't do that kind of thing.

Is she fit?

J Man

Keep him impoverished, that's the ticket.

Kindest Regards

Skoob

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Quote: Skoob1999

5* to you too birbee from Mrs Skoob.

Jammy bastard.

She hasn't given me 5* since 1993

Regards

Skoob

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Skoob, I don't want to sound funny, but you need to keep an eye on her. I am only 16 and very impressionable........

Oh fuck off.

You're all mad.

Coming dear...

Flummoxed

Skoob

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

...And the fight started

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver gets out of his car. You know how sometimes you get so stressed out and little things just seem really funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it...he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'

I looked down at him and said, 'Well, which one are you then?'

...And then that fight started

Buckwheat

Me and Mrs Skoob just gave you 10* for that one.

I am not Happy.

Celebrations.

Mucho Congratulations.

You brightened up our evening.

Kindest Regards

Skoob

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Quote: Skoob1999

I am not Happy.

Skoob

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Which one are you, then.....Sleazy?

No J-Man

Stupid.

That's me.

Got a kind of ring to it that.

Hello there, Im Stupid.

I like it.

It fits.

Kindest Regards

Skoob