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Refried Replies: I did not have sex with that curtain, Misty Chiffon...
I resisted her efforts even though she draped her self around my ankles before she forced me to.......................arrrrrghhhhhh!"

Oh Morsey dear. I did add on at the end of one of my posts, that I am a sex therapist by night. If there's anything you wish to discuss in private you know I am here for you and you can contact my on the discussion forum.

I'll just tell the others 'not to read our therapy threads'.

I do think that the first thing we could 'work' on is trying to get you to desist from typing Bastard so often. This word makes you come over to other Spoof writers as being a very bitter angry person.

So sorry dear Morse...I think I am confusing you with that bastard Skoob. Accept my sincere apologies...I'll tackle Skoob's problems later.

I do feel you are much, much more than that image we have of your Morse.

You really need to calm down dear Morsey.

Trust me. I can be your saviour.

Lady G.

You know Lady G, you sound just the way my dialog for you sounded in Chapter 9 of the Born To Spoof Sequel. You are a Nun and the head of a Nun Academy in a Gothic cathedral in medieval times. You are holding Mark captive there....perhaps you should write a chapter about what you do to him next. Sex Therapy?

Hey, I have yet to catch up on the Born to Spoof series....I don't have enough hours in the day. I do hope you will allow me to join in.

Your comments re: Mark have sparked an interest but I doubt I can catch up so quickly.

Tomorrow I aim to print out all of the chapters so that I can follow the story and join in eventually.

I have only managed to read about 5 or 6 chapters to far.

LG

Cool! Please Do! I think others have gotten busy or bored, but some new blood might stir things up again. You are very welcome to join in!

Ta very muchly. I will print out the chapters, so as to read it as a 'book' coz I have missed so much- and then...let me loose.

Lady G.

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Quote: Lady Godiva

Well, I got a touch of 'postus interuptus' there. Half way through my post and Mr.G. called me to get down to the licence office where he was waiting with my passport to get my temporary driver's licence.

What the hell am I telling you for anyway. None on your bleeding business so don't even bother to read it. Nosy bloody sods. Sheesh!

If you DO read it, this being adressed to Morse and rfreed, your willies will fall off. I've just put a curse on them.

Hey...Morse...I've just noticed that if you remove the vowels from your name you'll be a Mrs

Lady G.

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...hey, keep your hands off my vowels....we barely know each other.....

shocked!

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Quote: Lady Godiva

Oh Morsey dear. I did add on at the end of one of my posts, that I am a sex therapist by night. If there's anything you wish to discuss in private you know I am here for you and you can contact my on the discussion forum.

I'll just tell the others 'not to read our therapy threads'.

I do think that the first thing we could 'work' on is trying to get you to desist from typing Bastard so often. This word makes you come over to other Spoof writers as being a very bitter angry person.

So sorry dear Morse...I think I am confusing you with that bastard Skoob. Accept my sincere apologies...I'll tackle Skoob's problems later.

I do feel you are much, much more than that image we have of your Morse.

You really need to calm down dear Morsey.

Trust me. I can be your saviour.

Lady G.

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...occupational hazard after two writing excursions to the UK to study the
native writers I have come away with some (bad) habits including certain
words of dubious nature & a drinking problem but there have been some rather good Skills learned as well....for instance I learned to chat up young (fat & uglly) girls at the tram stops and now am the future father of 19! Thank God I don't have to pay for it though...that lot over there is picking up the tab!

Tried it over here on a corner, but no one showed up and found out public transportation ended in 1922....it was a long day...but some nice folks did at least put some money in me hat.......

If it's SEX you want, wander through the yet unfinished Moorview Institute stories....I think my character Luther, which I created, is right up your alley, so to speak!

Till Midnight....

Morsie

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Quote: Morse

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Quote: rfreed

Wait a minute.... you said you have TWO daughters?
Please refresh my memory- what were their names and telephone numbers again?

And Morse- doesn't PhD stand for Phuck head Diploma?
Do you have one?

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...two actually...they!re conjoined...had a double major...

Now I can come & go simultaneously!

temporarily number 10 on the chart but number 1 in your heart!

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Oh, you have TWO Phuck head Diplomas!

Doesn't that make you a double dip?

PhD?

I once got a diploma for diving off a high board into a pool.

Does that count?

Oh, and a star in woodwork.

Bastards...

Skoob.

Skoob, are you sure it was a diploma you got and not a concussion?

I've got some '$1 off' coupons for conflakes.

Oh! Bugger, they're out of date. Flaming Nora!

LG

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Quote: Skoob1999

PhD?

I once got a diploma for diving off a high board into a pool.

Does that count?

Oh, and a star in woodwork.

Bastards...

Skoob.

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And where have you been through this whole shooting gallery?

I'm tired let me just say "Jackasses" and call it a night.

Bye, bye!

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Quote: rfreed

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Quote: Skoob1999

PhD?

I once got a diploma for diving off a high board into a pool.

Does that count?

Oh, and a star in woodwork.

Bastards...

Skoob.

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And where have you been through this whole shooting gallery?

I'm tired let me just say "Jackasses" and call it a night.

Bye, bye!

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...stop your blubbering....you let two women get the best of you!

A disgrace to the Forum!

Sarah Palin wouldn't even find you fit for bait....

Disappointed.

Morse

Tough talk from someone who flashes dirty semaphore messages to the kindergarten kids at the school across from him!

Stop whining the pair of you, and get 'flaming'.

Lady G.

LG- If you are that hot on seeing Morse and I flaming I have pictures of us I'll send you for $50 plus postage and handling.
So hot they come wrapped in Teflon!
Special deal just for you!
Anyone else $40.

Nah! I have a vivid imagination, I'll keep my money.

You are both writers....'paint the pictures with words'.

Lady G.

Never heard such a load of old unadulterated shit in me bastard life!

I want a fight!

Woke up from me nap after playing Woods at chess, and I'm crammed as a wasp!

COME ON!!!!

TAKE ME!!!!

GRrrrrrr.......

Shuttlecock.

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Quote: Lady Godiva

Nah! I have a vivid imagination, I'll keep my money.

You are both writers....'paint the pictures with words'.

Lady G.

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Excerpt from Chapter 6 Moorview Institute


Word Pix for ReTread and Lady G Spot From Luther:





Luther silently closed the door and paused, not moving, taking in air slowly through his nose, which also picked up a scent...almost animal like, mixed with memories of new mown grass in the spring, a freshly turned shovel of earth in a flower garden, and even the hint of the Lilly of the Valleys he remembered from childhood. His hands gently closed on the silk scarf.

When it came, the voice was low and breathless. " I thought you weren't coming. You're late!"

"Actually, I'm 22 seconds early...your clock is running slow. I''ll adjust it for you later."

"Oh, Luther, " whispered first year med student Eloise Altoid, her gossamer nightgown caressing her perfect figure as she lay poised fetchingly on the bed, " I do so enjoy our meetings and little games!"

Eloise was considered "Hot" by the staff and inmates alike. She had a perfect hour glass figure, slightly top heavy, legs of a ballerina, graceful but sensually muscled, and a butt that was tight , seductive and provocative
beyond description. Those that didn't know her well, thought she was shallow, clue less, and vapid.

Luther knew otherwise. Eloise was an acute student of English History and Literature and had a fertile fantasy mind, especially identifying with many of the central female characters she devoured reading during her off hours.

As Luther approached the bed, Eloise was heard to take an intake of breathe, and the pace of her breathing picked up.

"How is Eloise feeling tonight?"

"I'm especially warm tonight."

"Perhaps I should open the window."

"That might help..but I'm really, really getting warm."

"Maybe if you slide that silk nightgown down it will help."

"I'll do that...my skin feels like it's on fire!"

"Here, let me help."

"Oh,Luther, your hands are like the touch of a feather!"

"There...is that better?"

"I feel so free being naked!"

"Here...I'm going to tie your wrists together."

"Oh, Luther...I feel so helpless!"

"What are you reading tonight?"

"That wonderful Robert B. Parker and that sexy Spenser Character!"

"Is it that good?"

"Better even!"

"Why?"

"He's so strong, silent, and sexy!"

"Does that turn you on?"

"Yes Luther! "

"What do you like best about Spenser?"

"The sex stuff...he just takes what he wants!"

"Does he do this..."

"Oh...LUTHER!"

"And maybe a little of this..."

"Oh, Oh, Oh, Ahh....LUTHER!"

"And I bet he doesn't forget to do a little of this..."

"LUTHER, LUTHER, LUTHER....I live for this....AGGGGGGGGGGGG!"

"I think you should rest a bit."

"Oh Luther, you're just like Robert Parker!"

'How's that?"

"You talk like he writes!"

"I've studied him"

"He's so good with dialogue. And with his thingy too!"

"When all else fails, there's always my thingy!"

"Oh, Luther, when can we do this again?"

"Today's only Tuesday."

"I thought today was yesterday?"

"Ok, we'll meet again on Friday"

"Oh... Tomorrow will never come"

"It's always darkest before the dawn."

"Today,Tomorrow, Forever!"

"Time waits for no man."

"Oh Luther...this is so much fun. Who can we be next time?"

"I'm thinking Ted Turner and Jane Fonda"

"Oh Luther...inspired. Can I be Jane?"

"Hopefully...I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Give me a hint...I'm getting hot again!"

"Jane gets naked and kneels on the floor."

"Oh my God...Luther...go on!"

"Ted slowly takes off his pants and bends over in front of Jane."

"Oh, Oh....tell....tell me what happens next!"

" Ted tells Jane she can kiss his ASS and pretend its Ho Chi Min!"

"Luther...I can't wait...can you do me one more time before you leave?"

"You'll have to settle for a quick lap...I'll do the Butterfly."

"Luther..you read my mind...hurry I'm going to come thinking about it!"

"How do you like this for a tongue twister?"


"AHHHÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓ....HMMMMMMM HHHHHHMMMMMM!"

I must 'go back in time' and read more of those....when I'm in the mood. Can't tell when that'll be though.

Lady G.

Ignore him.

He's never been the same since Madame Bitters jumped ship.

Trust me on that one.

Regards

Skoob.

OK Skoob, you want to tangle!

BARTLEBEAK!

OK, lets see how long it takes you to recover from that!

Wait 'till he gets over his hangover. I try to!

I'm lucky in that I don't get hangovers if I remember to stay away from spirits and wine when I've started out on beer.

Works for me

LG

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Quote: Skoob1999

Ignore him.

He's never been the same since Madame Bitters jumped ship.

Trust me on that one.

Regards

Skoob.

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....I think you puhed her after she, complained about the all you can eat
Buffet after the last battle....the Frenh liver was really overcooked
And the kidney pie had stones innit!

You rocks, you stones, you...WIKILEAKERS!!!!