This forum does not allow guest posting. You must register to participate in this forum.
Messages ordered by earliest posts first
All times are GMT
All times are GMT
Forum Home / General Discussion / BASTARDS
[This topic is LOCKED]
| 12 Pages - «« « 5 6 [7] 8 9 » »» |
| Author | Message | ||
|
Fergus McCarthy
Devil's Avocado Location: Hibernia. Registered: 17 Jan 07 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
Next week Erskine, maybe the week after. |
||
|
|
|||
|
Incredulous
Writer Location: England somewhere. Registered: 29 Mar 10 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
I am in a dangerous mood now, so I am going to call everybody I like a bastard, except my family!
Shakira, she is a bastard, Gordon Brown, he is a bastard! In fact, life in general is a complete bastard! Oh! dear, the funny farm is awaiting me! And Happy Easter everybody, if you like that sort of thing! |
||
|
Lady Godiva
Banned |
I can give you the name of a great Mental Health facility in Ontario, Canada.
|
||
|
Incredulous
Writer Location: England somewhere. Registered: 29 Mar 10 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
Yes, Lady Godiva perhaps I need one. You know I wake up in the morning and wonder, what have I said now and have I got away with it. Sometimes, I do not get away with it! I do like Shakira and I do like Gordon Brown and I certainly do like the world and living in it, even though it can be difficult sometimes. Insanity does not run through my family, just through me! Ha! |
||
|
Jesus Budda
Two sheets to the wind |
You know who is a great Dutch manager, Jaggedone? Gus Hiddink. That man has got some magic powers to make people play properly. When Old Sir Alex hangs up his hairdryer you should put a big in for him. Never really liked Cruuyf as manager. Bit of a sourpuss. SFO, it was so quick that it was not noticeable. It was like....Magic! |
||
|
Jesus Budda
Two sheets to the wind |
Everyone else on this thread should try and fold a piece of paper as many times as they can. It could be fun. It could be shit. It could be life changing.
|
||
|
Fergus McCarthy
Devil's Avocado Location: Hibernia. Registered: 17 Jan 07 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
JB,
Guss Hiddink is a football god, the Aussies offered him a kings ransom to stay on after the World Cup but he turned it down. His job was done, he moved on to sprinkle his magic further afield. He is football's Nanny Mc Phee and I love him. |
||
|
Erskin Quint
Opium-eater Registered: 15 Oct 07 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
See this post? |
||
|
Erskin Quint
Opium-eater Registered: 15 Oct 07 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
And this one? |
||
|
Erskin Quint
Opium-eater Registered: 15 Oct 07 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
They are both by Fingers McClarty, the legendary mock Irishman and part-time ogre.
Once a blue moon, someone is careless enough to wake him up. Then up he rises from his peat bog, drinks deeply from his poteen jamjar and shouts at aeroplanes, motor cars, tractors and priests on bicycles. Then he passes out and sinks into his peat bog again. Until a passing rambler is unlucky enough to rouse him. Isn't it time the Emerald Isle Authorities put up a sign saying "Danger. Sunken Ogre. Keep Away"? As well as protecting the peace, it might do wonders for the Irish Tourist Industry, especially if it was written in Gaeilge as well as English. "We've done the Blarney Stone and the Ballybunion Shillelagh (sail éille) Festival, what next, dear?" "Well, this 'Sunken Ogre' looks interesting." And so on. |
||
|
Fergus McCarthy
Devil's Avocado Location: Hibernia. Registered: 17 Jan 07 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
All true.
Except for the priests on bicycles bit, they mostly drive Corollas and Camry's. I shout at them anyway. |
||
|
Incredulous
Writer Location: England somewhere. Registered: 29 Mar 10 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
I just ignore them, they are nothing to me! |
||
|
Fergus McCarthy
Devil's Avocado Location: Hibernia. Registered: 17 Jan 07 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
Oh for dad's sake have a good shout at one.
You'll feel all the better for it. |
||
|
Incredulous
Writer Location: England somewhere. Registered: 29 Mar 10 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
Ha! Yes I should, instead of shouting at this Forum! Ha! |
||
|
Skoob1999
Caretaker Location: Out on a limb Registered: 5 Sep 08 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
How does that work?
Just curious, Skoob. |
||
|
Fergus McCarthy
Devil's Avocado Location: Hibernia. Registered: 17 Jan 07 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
S'true.
No one can hear you scream, do it tomorrow, Easter Sunday. You may never be be dared again 7 hours before 9 o'clock mass. Let us know how you got on. Me. |
||
|
Incredulous
Writer Location: England somewhere. Registered: 29 Mar 10 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
I will scream and scream, you can believe that!
Are you a Catholic, I just can't believe in any religion. It is as simple as that. You survive as best you can and then you die. Kicking and screaming of course! |
||
|
Incredulous
Writer Location: England somewhere. Registered: 29 Mar 10 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
This is my favourite Forum.
But I used to visit a Shakira Forum and I will tell you the name of it, shakiramedia.com. And just because I insulted her, they cut me dead. Well I can't live without insulting her. What is the matter with people? They can't take criticism. BASTARDS! Do they not know, I really love her. Of course I do! I hate it when there is no free speech. BASTARDS! |
||
|
Jesus Budda
Two sheets to the wind |
Yes, Fergus, old Guus-in-boots is a great manager.
Look what he did with Russia. And why oh why didn't Chelsea offer him more money, power and beautiful blonde ladies to stay? He's doing the Ivory Coast now, isn't he? When I say 'doing' I don't mean he is actually 'doing' the beautiful ladies in the Ivory coast. I mean just Didier Drogba and his friends. Sexually. Incredulous, yes this is the best thread in the WORLD!!!!! It is so cool. Or kool. I am going to pretend to be an Emo kid for a little while now. It will help attract the emo girls (I of course mean 'women' not 'girls - naturally). Look at me, I am moping about in my black eyeliner and limp hair and I have a big, sad face. I hate the world and the world is against me becasue I am just a teenager, and I hate school and I hate my teachers, and my parents don't understand me (I speak Yiddish) and my cat is my only friend and I play online video games set in Japan becasue Japanesse teenagers understand me a little bit more becasue they believe in dragons and wizards ans magic.... Right, that was fun for a moment. Now I'm back to being me: Jesus Budda. BASTARDS? I think Paul Scholes is a great player but I always get this feeling watching him that he is a complete and utter BASTARD. Maybe its the gingernes? Maybe its his habit of giving the odd nasty tackle for a luagh? He's probably a lovely, quiet chap but I get this niggling feeling he's a secret BASTARD. And to balance things out before Wednesday's game, I'd like to nominate Bastien Scweinstiger as a complet and utter BASTARD. I hate the fucking look of him. Does he still have that fin hairdo? He thinks he's better thatn he is and he's not much good in the first place. Look at the olden days players, Bastien. Think of Thomas Hassler. Lovely player. Great skill and talent. Not a BASTARD. Study him. |
||
|
Jesus Budda
Two sheets to the wind |
I keep writing BECASUE instead of BECAUSE.
This is worrying. Maybe I am dyslexic - the disease of middle class people. I hope not. I am proud to be a scumbag. Scumbags who spell badly are just called 'stupid'. |
||
|
Skoob1999
Caretaker Location: Out on a limb Registered: 5 Sep 08 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
JB
Nobody could ever call you stipud. Thut's jost nut on. Regards Skoob. |
||
|
Jesus Budda
Two sheets to the wind |
Tnhaks.
|
||
|
Incredulous
Writer Location: England somewhere. Registered: 29 Mar 10 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
Ha!,Ha! You make me laugh, you really do, this is better than the tele!
I was going to say something and now I have forgot. So I am going back to my favourite subject, Shakira. COOOOR! Although Jessica Alba, now my mind is going in different directions. If I had them both in bed with me, then that would be a dream come true. But dreams never come true. What this has got to do with the Bastard thread, I have no idea, I am just going off on one! Ha! |
||
|
Fergus McCarthy
Devil's Avocado Location: Hibernia. Registered: 17 Jan 07 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
JB,
Sven the shagger got the Ivory Coast gig for the World Cup, that's the real reason Fabulous Cappello banned the England Wag's from the tournament. See the big hooha about John Terry? Small biccies if England meet the Ivory Coast. |
||
|
Erskin Quint
Opium-eater Registered: 15 Oct 07 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
![]() |
||
| 12 Pages - «« « 5 6 [7] 8 9 » »» |
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.
Forum permissions
You are not logged in.
- You cannot create new topics in this forum
- You cannot post new messages in this forum
- You cannot add polls
- You cannot link to external images in this forum
- You cannot upload images in this forum
- You cannot upload files in this forum
