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Nothing is truly a 100% dead, his DNA is probably in some form of stasis in a tube and remember they CUT OUT HIS BRAIN.....THEY CUT OUT HIS BRAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Just like those filthy apes did to Charlton Heston's friend in 'Planet of the Apes'.



He is not 100% dead- possibly 90 % dead - JFK lives on.

Q: Worst Democratic President e-v-e-r Obama 80% Obama (with a run) 0% Clinton 14% Kennedy 0% LBJ 4% There have been 21 responses to this poll

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Quote: Phil Edgar's Bones

Just like those filthy apes did to Charlton Heston's friend in 'Planet of the Apes'.

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Steady, Phil. Steady.

Wow Phil!

Yes.....I hated the apes for touching Charlton Heston - I will not apologise for it.


But I did grow to love them all in the end- so no harm done.

That's more like it, Phil.

Be nice to the animals. But don't feed them!

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Quote: Phil Edgar's Bones

Yes.....I hated the apes for touching Charlton Heston - I will not apologise for it.


But I did grow to love them all in the end- so no harm done.

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Sounds like Phil was having some Hot Monkey Anal Sex to me.

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Quote: Phil Edgar's Bones

Yes.....I hated the apes for touching Charlton Heston - I will not apologise for it.


But I did grow to love them all in the end- so no harm done.

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Sounds like Phil was having some Hot Monkey Anal Sex to me.

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Quote: wirehead

Oh, BTW the one of my articles on Michelle Bachman will go over 1000 in the next hour. See if you can figure which one it is. It's been on the home page several times.

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Wow, 1000. Is that your first "big pointer" story? Since you've got 51 stories posted, and 1000 is obviously your definintion of success, you appear to have a 2% success rate.

I've got 808 stories. 243 have over 1000 (about 30%). In fact, 6 of those have over 40,000 (my top story has over 60,000). More than 50 of them are over 5000. I expect that ten of my stories should hit the 1,000 mark by the end of the month. I've also written two 1000+ pointers in the past ten days (one of them, Miss Piggy Dies of Swine Flu) should hit 5000 by the end of the week. I'm also closing in on 2 million (I think QM is over 3 million now).

If I ever have a day under 1000, I think something is wrong.

Now, you just go on bragging about your 1000 pointer success story and we'll all continue to act impressed.

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Quote: Phil Edgar's Bones

Yes.....I hated the apes for touching Charlton Heston - I will not apologise for it.


But I did grow to love them all in the end- so no harm done.

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Ever notice how Charlton Heston said "Oh God!" in more than one movie.

- Ten Commandments
- Planet of the Apes
- The Omega Man

I did my 400th story today. A lot of my stories are garbage, but one or two stand up to scrutiny. I'm just pleased to have hung in here so far.

Regards

Skoob

Doc,


The Omega Man - now that was a movie, better than the Will Smith version with the cop out ending. I read the book by Richard Matthieson a few years ago.

Regards

Skoob.

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Quote: Phil Edgar's Bones

But I did grow to love them all in the end- so no harm done.

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You know what they say, Phil:

"Up the bum, no 'arm done!"


Well they do in Lancashire, anyway. Just ask Skoob.

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Quote: Monkey Woods

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Quote: Phil Edgar's Bones

But I did grow to love them all in the end- so no harm done.

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You know what they say, Phil:

"Up the bum, no 'arm done!"


Well they do in Lancashire, anyway. Just ask Skoob.

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It's true.

Regards

Skoob.

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Quote: Skoob1999

Doc,


The Omega Man - now that was a movie, better than the Will Smith version with the cop out ending. I read the book by Richard Matthieson a few years ago.

Regards

Skoob.

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I loved the Omega Man great film- Will Smith has the capacity to balls up everything film he touches turning it into cheese.


J-Men why do you think I would have anal sex with the Chimps, Gorillas and Orang-utans. Dr Zaius was widly attractive, but any suggestion that I would sodomise this flaxen haired beauty is born from a sick and twisted mind.


I grew to love the Apes as a man grows to love a good cigar or a fine wine.

While you may be some sort of Kenneth Pinyan, J-man - I prefer my animals.... especially chimps riding cycles, drinking tea out of a teapot spout and biting women's faces of- alongside the genitalia of unsuspecting men. Mine is a perfectly healthy relationship between human and ape.


Do you remember BJ and the Bear - the TV series about a truck driver and a chimp? What was that all about and why hasn't it been repeated?


Charleton Heston was great I didn't like Michael Moore picking on him, when he became old, doddery, right-wing and wore that terrible wig, which I could swear once belonged to........ Dr Zaius.


I've got things to do, why am I here?

I'm off.....

Yeah, I don't like Will Smith.

Charlton Heston was weird in films when you think about it.
Think about it.
He WAS weird. he pulled 'weird faces and gritted his teeth.
But I liked Charlton.

Burt Lancaster was weird too. He gritted his teeth a lot too.

Will Smith doesn't grit his teeth but he is just shit. I have no idea why.

It's a mystery to me.

Roy Orbison looked weird. he didn't grit his teeth as far as I know. In fact, I'm unsure he had teeth at all.

Kirk Douglas gritted his teeth as did James Cagney.


Roy Orbinson had teeth, but they were very shy- like Jack Klugman's teeth and therefore we didn't really get to know them.



When I was younger I thought Roy Orbison was blind and retarded, but he wasn't- just a very polite man, who wore dark glasses. I always thought his skin looked as if it was burnt in a fire; causing him to wear heavy make-up to cover the scars, but I don't think that was true. Just my crazy mind.

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Quote: Phil Edgar's Bones

Kirk Douglas gritted his teeth as did James Cagney.


Roy Orbinson had teeth, but they were very shy- like Jack Klugman's teeth and therefore we didn't really get to know them.



When I was younger I thought Roy Orbison was blind and retarded, but he wasn't- just a very polite man, who wore dark glasses. I always thought his skin looked as if it was burnt in a fire; causing him to wear heavy make-up to cover the scars, but I don't think that was true. Just my crazy mind.

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I love the subtle change of direction, keep it up you cads!

Phil, YOU are the one who said that you loved the apes in the end.

Remember, we are all a lot of really bad pun artists. We wils jump on anything and anyone given half the chance (sorry about jumping on you, Ms. Bitters, but you did pop out of that cake nekkid). I just caught the line and jumped first.

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Quote: Jaggedone

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Quote: Phil Edgar's Bones

Kirk Douglas gritted his teeth as did James Cagney.


Roy Orbinson had teeth, but they were very shy- like Jack Klugman's teeth and therefore we didn't really get to know them.



When I was younger I thought Roy Orbison was blind and retarded, but he wasn't- just a very polite man, who wore dark glasses. I always thought his skin looked as if it was burnt in a fire; causing him to wear heavy make-up to cover the scars, but I don't think that was true. Just my crazy mind.

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I love the subtle change of direction, keep it up you cads!

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That was a subtle as Russell Brand's body hair, no Monsieur Frenchie, it is a blatantly obvious conversation diverting tactic. Not only are you flogging a dead horse, but you are fucking the life out of it as well. I think I was doing what Judge Judy would describe as "putting a period(fullstop) behind it and moving on.


But feel free to divert back to the topic..... for the next four years !!!!!!!!

I love the subtle change of direction, keep it up you cads!

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That was a subtle as Russell Brand's body hair, no Monsieur Frenchie, it is a blatanty obvious conversation diverting tactic. Not only are you flogging a dead horse, but you are fucking the life out of it as well. I think I was doing what Judge Judy would describe as "putting a period(fullstop) behind it and moving on.


But feel free to divert back to the topic..... for the next four years !!!!!!!!

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Apologies, just got back from the UK braindamaged, just hate the political bullshit thats all and was glad someone, your kindself, put a stop to it, it was compliment actually!!!!!

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Quote: Jalapenoman

Phil, YOU are the one who said that you loved the apes in the end.

Remember, we are all a lot of really bad pun artists. We wils jump on anything and anyone given half the chance (sorry about jumping on you, Ms. Bitters, but you did pop out of that cake nekkid). I just caught the line and jumped first.

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Loving an ape, while petting him gently on the cranium and fornicating with an ape in an unbridled act of wild bestiality are surely two different things J-man....surely?


If they are not..... Well I learn something different and obscence everyday!

Jack Nicholson. He was one. For gritting his teeth I mean.

I never did quite get why Cagney fired his gun into that gasometer in White Heat. Ruined all chance of a sequel.

Welcome back JO. Happy days.

Regards

Skoob

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Quote: Skoob1999

Jack Nicholson. He was one. For gritting his teeth I mean.

I never did quite get why Cagney fired his gun into that gasometer in White Heat. Ruined all chance of a sequel.

Welcome back JO. Happy days.

Regards

Skoob

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Wasn't it something to do with his Ma and 'being on top of the world'. In those days the censors would not allow a film to pass unless the villain died a shit death as a moral warning to the YOUF and that was the only option available to Cagney. Today I suppose they would have brought him down, taken him to a psychiatrist and made Harold Shipman his doctor. Two days later he would have just passed away in his armchair..... but the forties were ruthless.

I never liked the ending of 'Angels with Dirty faces' when they made him cry in the electric chair- I wanted him to spit in their faces, but he feigned cowardice.



Humphrey Bogart was another one that couldn't open his mouth- I always thought he would have been a great ventriloquist.

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Quote: Jesus Budda

Yeah, I don't like Will Smith.

Charlton Heston was weird in films when you think about it.
Think about it.
He WAS weird. he pulled 'weird faces and gritted his teeth.
But I liked Charlton.

Burt Lancaster was weird too. He gritted his teeth a lot too.

Will Smith doesn't grit his teeth but he is just shit. I have no idea why.

It's a mystery to me.

Roy Orbison looked weird. he didn't grit his teeth as far as I know. In fact, I'm unsure he had teeth at all.[/blockquote

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Will Smith has won a humanitarian award, why is it when I start despising a person, do they gain success and vice versa. Am I dead is this hell? Where's Mr Serling?


I wished Jade Goody well and look -Dead

I wished Will Smith a bad year and look - award.

I wished Russell Brand dead and look - alive

I wished Dom, Bea and Reg Varney alive and look - dead.

I wished Stephen Fry thin and look - fat.

Yes, I see what you mean, Phil.

It's very strange, to be sure.

You seem to be a jinx.