Discussion Forum

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Quote: Fergus McCarthy

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Quote: Lynton

So fergus you ARE Lisa Pisa!

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That's lovely.

I hope I have nice titties.

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...time for a REAL confession....including airfare, motel accomodations , food & drink, just how much did that body altering trip to Thaliland cost....hmmmmmm?

Less than a trip on the QE2.

Why can't you fly over? Daddammit that's my inheritance you and the missus are blowing! There'll be fuck all left.

Where is the 'Norm' poster being kept whilst you two are off gallavanting around the world again?

Well??

good point Fergel: actually, we are flying to and fro...unfortunately not on BA since we can't depend on the staff to be available due to striking events
that no one can predict....and not on Ryan Air BTW, since at my age holding on to a strap whilst standing for 8 hours might be a bit much...not to mention the absence of a proper loo which may cause additional discomfit
to the ole prostate....(sorry to be talking the piss here)

Thankfully, after two years I have managed to find a small banking firm
in Nigeria willing to cash in my Spoof Points...of course at a discount...but better than the exchange rate offered by Sir Mark after months of haggling and outrageous expenses incurred on my behalf by a UK barrister claiming to
'be versed' in dealing with Lowton and a stable of disgruntled writers claiming "overtime, unhealthy working conditions, abuse, and substandard snacks causing flatulence and discomfort...."

Having no children we are still looking for 'just the right Spoofer to adopt", and have recently become interested in just such a young man who has shown his willingness to work by standing in the rain for 5 hours holding up a sign saying : Please Adopt Me...I don't eat much. This young man shows promise and we plan to meet whilst in London, after we fully vet him to see that he is really who he says he is and not yet another fortune hunter....

Then of course there is my UK windfall from the Home Office I received just yesterday amounting to $5250 after currency conversion, paying me
NOT TO emigrate to the UK when I had expressed interest in doing so...

That just covers our sail about on the QM not including the cost of our little
Tea On The Terrace at the Palace, where we were told a slight 'gratuity' in cash to the Duchess of Yuk would facilitate a royal meeting...or at least open the doors to the Tower of London so we could count the ravens...

Skoob has also offered to take me to a club footbal game somewhere in Manchester, and since the pubs will still be open 24 hours till the new bill has been enacted, personally introduce me to a few lamp posts he's on intimate terms ...

As for "Norm" he is recovering from a gastro intestinal by-pass due to a slight obesity problem which had recently comprised his ability to fit full screen on the telly, pass easily through a 3'6 handicapped door, and causing him to wear his tool belt in much the same fashion as a 'shoulder holster' instead of around his now portly waist....

It seems I have been prattling on here, but departure looms and I must get about packing the duffel bag and didn't know when I'd have a chance to write again...

I do luv these chats though....hope to see you for the conference...it's safe...
for only 500 pounds I got you immunity from Fergie....I guarantee it!

Morse

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Quote: Fergus McCarthy

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Quote: Lynton

So fergus you ARE Lisa Pisa!

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That's lovely.

I hope I have nice titties.

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I have!

About this confession...was it in the box or by the altar? Box-jobs are rare these days.

It was a box job, I'm a traditionalist, anyway you don't want half the church trying to decifer all the hand signals and gesticulations do you?

What about yourself Lisa, do you prefer it in the box?

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Quote: Fergus McCarthy

It was a box job, I'm a traditionalist, anyway you don't want half the church trying to decifer all the hand signals and gesticulations do you?

What about yourself Lisa, do you prefer it in the box?

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I've never had it in the box. I've done it on the altar in front of a crowd.

I have no shame but the shame of original sin.

Lisa

You seem to be holding your own with these glib gadflies.

My complements.

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Quote: victor nicholas

Lisa

You seem to be holding your own with these glib gadflies.

My complements.

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VC, where did she enter the crucifix?

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Quote: LisaPisa


I've never had it in the box. I've done it on the altar in front of a crowd.

I have no shame but the shame of original sin.

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Original sin isn't so original anymore, it's been done to death.



I've never liked the idea of doing it in front of a crowd, it's just too much pressure with everyone watching, a quick finish would just have people rolling their eyes and giving each other knowing glances, take too long and everyones gets bored waiting for their turn and gives you filthy looks when you do actually get to the end.

I worry about deaf people too, most, if not all of them can lipread, they sit all over the church signing off at each other like bookies at a race track. They could be saying anything.


Lovely to talk to you Lisa.

Ignore the hecklers, they're probably Protestants.

If you want original sin, don't look here.

Nobody wants it Vic.

It's a birthright... Or a birthmark, I'm not sure.

Don't let the Protestants take it from you Fergus.

I hated it when you had a great sin and the person in front of you got to use it first.
That kind of stuff just really messed up my whole life.
Its probably the reason I became a Satanist.

I used to freak our old priest right out, I was an altar boy and every time I went to confession I used to confess to stealing a few pounds from the collection plate.

The poor man was tormented, he couldn't sack me without a good reason and he couldn't tell anyone either, watched me like a hawk when I was near the baskets and tried his best to catch me stealing but never did.

That's because I never nicked anything, but my best friend Joe was robbing the place blind and we'd split it later that day.

Happy days.

You'd pick up a fair few Curly Wurly's with your robbed cash, I'd say. Or a few packets of Milk chocolate buttons. Or Milky Bars. Yummy.

Altar girls first appeared in my time. I wasn't one. Wasn't interested in getting up early just for the sake of making a couple of quid holding a bit of metal under peoples mouths during Communion at weddings.
All that standing around and ringing a bell? Not worth it.

Stealing candles from that candle thing was a popular past time.
I was a kleptomaniac when it came to those green stones you get in graveyards. Filled my pockets full of them.

I did sneak into the church and say mass once or twice for a laugh.

Hi all! Visting family, as most know, in England at present, trying to find computers. I'm at my brother's tonight...using my nephew's computer....

I spent time with one of my other bros. yesterday and today...he's a Jehova's witness....a little bit to do with this thread...

BUT.. being an atheist....I DO KNOW what he ORIGINAL SIN WAS (OR IS) and it is NOT HAVING SEX The Original sin is EATING FROM THE FRUIT OF KNOWLEDGE (THE FORBIDDEN FRUIT...I.E. THE BLOODY APPLE)

So...unless you have all been munching down on APPLES...you don't need to go to confession, say any bleeding Hail Mary's or anything.................Christians READ YOUR BIBLE

Regards, Your friendly atheist,

Lady G.

I just ate an apple - will I go to hell? Is this a snake I see before me?

No Lynton....you already HAVE the 'knowledge'...the apple you ate is an innocent one...I think???

LG...

Driving cabbie in London now Lynton?

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Quote: victor nicholas

Driving cabbie in London now Lynton?

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If you don't have the 'knowledge' do you spend your life driving
around in circles trying to find yourself...or is that just the
'roundabout' way of saying 'you're screwed'....

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Quote: victor nicholas

Driving cabbie in London now Lynton?

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bit of a sinking feeling once being a professor then ending up a "black" cabby in London, I once sunk very low, arise Sir Jagged!