Discussion Forum

Melons....M E L O N S! Hang on..that doesn't look right....maybe it IS lemons. Hmm! Anyway, the ones I slice and put in my gin....

By the way...whilst I'm here........what is the best way to dry Herbs?

Herb's what?

If you have killed him and want to dry out his head (for your shrunken head collection), remove the skull, fill the head with sand, and leave it in a warm, dry place.

Herb is surely big enough and ugly enough to dry his own now he is 25.

However, melons. Having given it thought it seems like we are talking about a problem called 'Melon Wilt'. Although it may render the melons a little flat sometimes I assure you it will not affect anyone's appreciation of them as a dessert. Some say that they are even better than the rather overblown types such as Canteloupe.var Silicone Suzy.

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Quote: Lady Godiva

I have another question....my melons are not what they used to be....firm, large and round....what can I do to get them back to their former beauty...? I used to win prizes at the County Fair with my melons......now I don't even 'place'. I don't want to give up the 'fight'.

Any help anyone can give me will be greatly appreciated.

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I'd like to give you some support for your problem with your melons. I know that problems like these are not very uplifting. Some melons, if not at the peak of ripeness, will sag with age.

Some people like to artificially enhance their melons, inserting things into them to make them appear larger. This added weight can stretch them out and make them appear over inflated.

Others just let their melons hang, never providing the proper structural support needed to keep them from drooping.

Even the smallest melons need some form of protection.

If you'd post pictures of the melons in question, I'm sure I'd be better able to assist. In fact, if I could get "hands on" with the problem, I'm sure that the results would be uplifting.

Lyton, I brought in a melon 'specialist' and had my melons 'propped' up a bit. I'm quite happy with the result...no wilting anymore.

I hope that puts your mind at rest.


Oh thanks for your input 'Throckers' - may I call you that?
If not....apologies for being so presumptuous..

I've decided to give up on me melons and just accept them as they are coz, as I mentoned above, I've decided the size is not the problem, it was the 'wilting' that needed to be dealt with. Dealt with it HAS been. Having said that...no more 'melon competitions' for me.

I'm going to concentrate on my corn. I know there's a lot of corn lovers on this site.

Any ideas how I can get the 'best' out of my corn? I'm beginning to think it may be too sweet.
I anxiously await your answer(s)..

LG.

If you want to take care of your corns, I'd suggest that you start by keeping your corn hole clean. There's nothing worse to a gardener trying to plant than finding a dirty corn hole.

You really need a green giant to see to it once he has it will be amaizeing! (You wanted corn LG).

Lynton

That new avatar just intimidates me.

Reminds me of skewl and midget gang warfare.

Like the Ducky Boys out of The Wanderers by Richard Price.

Now stop it.

I'll be 'avin night terrors agin.

Regards

Skoob.

The caption should say - Lie down dear - Trust me I'm a gynaecologist. I'll leave it until I find better. Sweet dreams.

Lynton...oh no....where have you gone? Who IS that strange man?

By the way - or BTW - as I see illiterate people typing these days....I sorted out my corn(s) when I had my pedicure this afternoon.....now I'm having a wee bit of a problem with my leaks...they're very small...what can I do to make my leaks larger....?

If I CAN have larger leaks it will help overcome the problem of 'no watering on Wednesdays and Fridays' in our part of town. What is the secret?

Generally small leaks are much less trouble and most lady gardeners prefer them.

But as Lynton's law states sooner or later on every thread it aways returns to affairs of the pelvic floor..

But if you must have big leaks then I would recommend you try a hard(i)er STRAIN. A very big STRAIN your leaks will be so big your eyes will pop!

d9bc1c55365150656">For LG's eyes only - I couldn't resist

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Quote: armfeetandtoe

Question from Mrs Ballast of Spond.

"How do I stop those fukin cats from No 24 pissing on my rose bushes? I've tried everything".

Our first expert tonight is........

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This is a serious response.

When I was a kid, I remember that cats would sometimes come into our back garden and shat around the flowers. My stepdad took the unlikely step of pissing in a bucket and then pouring his piss all over and around the affected plants on a night, after tea. His thinking was, that the cats would sense that a bigger animal than they were was present, and would leave the vicinity.

Apparently, this worked.

Either that, or he just couldn't be bothered to go upstairs for a piss.


And, I suppose, your bushes will still smell of piss, only much stronger.

Lynton, I'm willing to bet Monkey clicked on the 'link'.

Glad I don't really have to purchase THOSE yet!!!!


How are your pees doing by the way?

LG

They've been of record size this year but I'm worried about the fact that in damp corners of the garden I seem to have an infestation of Phallus impudicus sticking out of every nook and cranny. Do you have any experience with this pest?

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Quote: Monkey Woods

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Quote: armfeetandtoe

Question from Mrs Ballast of Spond.

"How do I stop those fukin cats from No 24 pissing on my rose bushes? I've tried everything".

Our first expert tonight is........

---

This is a serious response.

When I was a kid, I remember that cats would sometimes come into our back garden and shat around the flowers. My stepdad took the unlikely step of pissing in a bucket and then pouring his piss all over and around the affected plants on a night, after tea. His thinking was, that the cats would sense that a bigger animal than they were was present, and would leave the vicinity.

Apparently, this worked.

Either that, or he just couldn't be bothered to go upstairs for a piss.


And, I suppose, your bushes will still smell of piss, only much stronger.

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Monkey - hi

I can't find it on the net but there was an article in the paper I was reading in a waiting room today (I think it was the sun - a fill in piece so not necessarily on the website) about a german bloke who peed in his neighbour's garden over a period of months hoping that the smell would attract her. She complained about the smell thinking it was somebody's dog! The cops caught the chap at it poor sod,. His missus had died I think a while back. He was dismayed that his attempts to chat up the neighbour had failed so he thought he'd try pheromones!

I enjoy photographing fungi...but have never come across the common stinkhorn yet (the one you mentioned)....I'll keep my eyes open...just don't EAT the damn things....they look bloody awful anyway . Are they 'jewish'??

I prefer the shaggy mane myself...and they are edible...

Anymore fungi lovers out there?

LG

Lady G...

Aren't you meant to be at 30,000 feet today?

CJ..yes, but not till later this evening (only 12.43PM here...we leave for the airport about 3.30PM our time...overnight flight.....

Lady G.