Discussion Forum

I am playing.

There's more than one way to skin a cat.

"Life is a sexually transmitted disease."

Oh we knew how to laugh in those days!

I just love that last one Erskin...don't think I've heard it before. Maybe I have...my memory's going...so Ian we'll be seeing you some time at the beginning of next week...we land in London on Thursday morning....Please email us or just phone mam's when we get there....OK?

Your favourite sister...Mo

This thread's getting onto a bit of a downer.

You're all starting to sound like has-beens.

I don't know about you lot, but I've got loadsa life in me! And as soon as I find it, I'll show it to you.

I'm not past it yet - well, depends exactly what 'it' is. If by 'it' you're referring to sexual prowess, then I'm brilliant at that. Don't take my word for it - Mrs Skoob says I'm a bigger wanker now than I ever was!

Okay, I'll concede that I'm not as good at fighting as I once was - I got KO'd by a lamp post the other week, just a momentary lapse in lateral movement - but since the wife's had a dodgy knee, I can hold her at bay. Providing she doesn't start throwing jam jars at me.

Can't drive now. Nothing physically wrong there, but I like a beer or two from time to time, and once - no, twice - fell off me push bike under the influence. It must have had a wobbly wheel or something.

So the car's out of the question. I let the wife do the driving. The only time she ever shuts up is when she's listening to the sat-nav lady.

And she's a right tease she is. The other day, when the wife was carrying an old wardrobe to the tip, I asked her where she hung out on her days off. But she blanked me. The sat-nav lady that is, not the wife.

We had a lovely big bush cum-tree outside the front window this morning. Fucking brilliant it was. Grew about fourteen foot in a year. Until the wife set about it with a pair of bolt cutters. (Don't ask...)

I thought she was going to trim it back. She trimmed it back all right - right down to the ground. Cow.

Anyway, her knee's better now so she's off back to work tomorrow. Bit of fucking peace for moi, that is.

Me? Me thumb's on the mend and me eyebrow's healed up. Me broken arm - what them bastards on the NHS couldn't be arsed to x-ray - is well on the mend.

So I have to see the quack tomorrow so he can assess whether I'm fit to go back to work.

So I won't be around here to annoy you Spoof buggers half as much as I have been lately. But I'll drop in from time to time.

It's the bastards at work I feel sorry for. If I'm not back by this weekend, it'll only be a few more days.

But then there's always the writers' meet in London on August 28th.

I just hope I don't end up in the fucking hospital again.

Regards

Skoob. (Young(ish) free, and just a tad mad.)

Aw! Skoob...that was luverly. I'm ded chuffed today coz I'm gettin' me nails done and me 'air trimmed. Then I 'ave te pack coz we're gettin' the plane tomorra for England.
Well it's a hellova lot faster than swimmin'.

Lookin' forward t' some decent fish 'n' chips...Mebbe Whitby...

Berra go coz our lad'll be in soon...an I 'aven't dun much yet.

Your lass sounds ded gud.

Take care...I 'ope A can ge' to a compu'er when Arm over there.

Tara,

Laters!

Lady G.

Skoob - bit more like that and you'll have a five minute stand up routine.


LG - Regards to the Magpie in Whitby

OK Lynton, if I see one....but it's usually just the gulls.

Seriously, if I pass The Magpie we'll stop in and have a drink for you....

Oh..by the way....a few years back some bird woman told me there is no such thing as a sea-gull. They are gulls. Many types...but no sea-gulls.

I think Skoob SHOULD be doing 'stand-up', when he's not bumping into lamp-posts....

I bumped into one once, face first. I was about 7...walking along holding my dad's hand, eyes shut, pretending to be blind, like you do! He would tell me when to go up and down the curbs......'till he met his mate and they got talking....He forgot about me pretending to be blind and walked me straight into a bleeding lamp-post!!!!!!

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Quote: Lady Godiva

OK Lynton, if I see one....but it's usually just the gulls.

Seriously, if I pass The Magpie we'll stop in and have a drink for you....

Oh..by the way....a few years back some bird woman told me there is no such thing as a sea-gull. They are gulls. Many types...but no sea-gulls.

I think Skoob SHOULD be doing 'stand-up', when he's not bumping into lamp-posts....

I bumped into one once, face first. I was about 7...walking along holding my dad's hand, eyes shut, pretending to be blind, like you do! He would tell me when to go up and down the curbs......'till he met his mate and they got talking....He forgot about me pretending to be blind and walked me straight into a bleeding lamp-post!!!!!!

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(sea)Gulls - you live and learn. But that's not what I called them when they were nesting on the window ledge of my room in Aberdeen.

PLaying blind eh? I got into trouble once when outside ASDA this guy taps his way through one of the revolving doors at the entry and then promply turns and taps his way out of the other one ending up a bit confused. I laughed and got a kick on the shins from the wife. He just reminded me of a guy with thick glasses in the Last of the Summer wine - I wasn't being cruel - honest!

Don't worry....sometimes you just can't help laughing.

I was at an intersection, traffic lights, and coincidentally two fellas with white canes tapped their way from opposite sides of the road...

I thought to myself, as they passed each other,

"I wonder if they noticed each other!"

Then I realized how stupid a thought I had thunk. Mind you, they might have heard each others canes when you think about it.

LG