Discussion Forum

He doesn't wear socks.

How could he create stinky feet if he didn't wear socks?

You really need to ask your Dad about this one, Fergus.

P.S. To the new writers:

Fergus is also known as TOSOG (The Other Son Of God).

God IS real.

God is the World Hide And Seek Champion.

Doesn't matter how hard you pray - he won't reveal himself.

A bit like Wayne Rooney et al in the World Cup.

There you go.

Skoob.

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Quote: armfeetandtoe

This question of god having a beard and who cuts it still has not been answered! And it must.

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Here's your answer:

Since God lives forever, it takes like a bazillion years for him to even get a 5 o'clock shadow. Trouble is, since we only live about 70 years or so, we'll never get to see him shave.

When He does, though, it will likely be at the Barber Shop at the End of the Universe.

Actually, check this out:

The_Restaurant_at_the_End_of_the_Universe

Anybody ever read this? Maybe it could be the basis of a Spoof magazine effort regarding the Almighty One's tonsorial realm.

Ah the late, much lamented Douglas Adams.

As the frog said:

Reddit.

Regards

Skoob (Not hitch-hiking this time)

That is well over MY head!

Ooh! I love that scene in the movie with Tom Cruise and
Jack Nicholson when Jack says those famous words. I put the DVD in the player often...but I don't watch the whole movie...I just forward to THAT scene.


I CAN handle the truth...but where the hell is it? You can't believe EVERYTHING you read. That is obvious to All of us....so why believe, without question, the bible which has been around for 2 000 years and , apparently, never written in English? Most writings lose something in the translation. That's 'writers' licence.

You must admit...if someone tells you something....you never pass it on to the next person 'word for word' and neither does the person you pass it on to. By the time it comes to the last person in line - the message is ususally TOTALLY DIFFERENT TO THE ONE STARTED OUT.

The writers of the bible wanted a best selling book and they achieved their goal.

Mortal beings need something to hang on to because they are 'scared' and need to believe in SOMETHING...

I think, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John were the four founding members of The Spoof. Kudos to he four of them. The 'Beatles' of the Bible.

We all live in a Yellow Submarine, Yellow Submarine, Yellow Submarine....

That's where I prefer to live than in the pages of the bible. It's much more fun.

I like Rutger Hauer's speech at the end of Blade Runner.

"I have seen things you people could never imagine,"

Then he says:

"All these things pass...like tears in rain...time to die..."

Bit more to it than that but most spoofers probably know it anyway.

Regards

Skoob.

I totally agree, but I've been 'taken in' by so called Christians.

I felt totally lost when I came to Canada in 1982. In desperation to 'connect' with locals I went to Church Services because I heard it was the thing to do to be accepted here.

I was quickly disillusioned. I joined the 'younger persons' group' which met in a neighbour's house. The first order of business was to go around the group and ask how many visits had been made to people in hosptal and to 'shut ins'.

I had visited a friend 14 times in a fortnight....POINTS racked up for THIS group, in competition with the older members' group.

I felt sickened. I visited my friend because she needed me . I did NOT do it to rack up points for the Church group.

Needless to say...I left the group that night.

Do you realize the lower part of your smurfette dress looks like a cyclops smiley face?

Trying to get your mind off how hypocritic some Christian groups can be. Did it work?

Ladies

I'm Catholic.

We get a lot of flack lately, maybe because we're honest.

It might take time for reaction from the Vatican, but we aren't afraid to address our shortcomings.

Our spiritual "home" is the Basilica San Pietro in Rome.

Did Jesus not say to Peter: "You are the rock upon which my church will be built"?

I don't practice, but that's good enough for me. I don't feel that I need to make a song and dance about it. It's just there.

It's also there to be questioned and challenged.

We didn't make our own rules up, and we don't have to sell it door to door.

Would that other so called "faiths" were so willing to self examine.

Sorry to post this, but it pisses me off when Catholics get ripped by people who are no better, and frequently much worse.

At least we don't make it up as we go along.

Apologies

Sincerely

Skoob.

Jesus Built My Hotrod

Apologies to Christians and those of other Faiths, I do get a bit hot under the collar sometimes because most people think that if you don't believe in what THEY believe in...then you must surely be EVIL.

This is not so!

We have The Lord's prayer back in our school. Teachers say Grace if we all eat together. It's just that they can all speak about praying and God etc. whereas a colleague and myself must stay quiet about our philosphy - if you can call it that - for fear of being 'outed' and probably ostracized by the rest of our colleagues.

It would be easier to 'pretend' but I won't sully their faith by pretending. Sometimes I envy them because it's more difficult for me to be me.

Such is life!

Read my signature....OOPS! I'VE JUST CHANGED MY SIGNATURE, SO IGNORE THAT BIT.

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Quote: Skoob1999

Did Jesus not say to Peter: "You are the rock upon which my church will be built"?

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No, I most certainly did not say such a thing!

Oh, sorry JB

Must have got you confused with somebody else.

Sincere apologies to you.

Regards

Skoob

No problem.
I get confused with that other chap all the time.
The hairy bastard....

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Quote: Jesus Budda

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Quote: Skoob1999

Did Jesus not say to Peter: "You are the rock upon which my church will be built"?

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No, I most certainly did not say such a thing!

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"For as often as you eat this biscuit and drink this cup of tea, you proclaim Jesus Budda's death till He comes."

Paul said that, not Peter.

I was at the last supper..

Well, the last supper at my house anyway.

I've got it! And so have you lot now!

God wears a fale beard! Or does he?

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Quote: Lady Godiva

I was at the last supper..

Well, the last supper at my house anyway.

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Glory be to Cheeses! Peter you are the Roquefort on which the church is built!

Apologies skoob couldn't resist it in a sort of savoury way

(now you won't believe me but savoury wasn't meant to be a pun - he does work in mysterious ways)

What a thorny question, God and the Devil.
I will say this though, I have come to think that there is something, I will just call it fate.
Over the last twelve months I have survived many self inflicted wounds and incredibly I have walked away from them relatively unscathed.
And so if I have such a joy for living again, what am I doing here, following The Spoof, ahhhh! It's because I love ya!
I AM STILL ALIVE I TELL YOU. ALIVE! HA!
Thank God or the Devil or whatever it is out there!

Whatever it is....glad you are still here!

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Quote: Lady Godiva

Apologies to Christians and those of other Faiths, I do get a bit hot under the collar sometimes because most people think that if you don't believe in what THEY believe in...then you must surely be EVIL.

This is not so!

We have The Lord's prayer back in our school. Teachers say Grace if we all eat together. It's just that they can all speak about praying and God etc. whereas a colleague and myself must stay quiet about our philosphy - if you can call it that - for fear of being 'outed' and probably ostracized by the rest of our colleagues.

It would be easier to 'pretend' but I won't sully their faith by pretending. Sometimes I envy them because it's more difficult for me to be me.

Such is life!

Read my signature....OOPS! I'VE JUST CHANGED MY SIGNATURE, SO IGNORE THAT BIT.

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Lady G:

I think the word you are looking for to describe such people is zealots and it also applies to non-religious beliefs!

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Quote: Lady Godiva

Whatever it is....glad you are still here!

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Thank you Lady Godiva.
I would not get caught up in the unfathomable if I were you.
When you think of the so called 'singularity' as I often do,
that is when loopy loo starts calling.
How do you get something from nothing?
Loopy is creeping up on me again.
Get back,get back I said.
Ohhhh! NO!

Well, that's cleared that up then.