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She was so ugly that blind men would cross the street to avoid her.

She was so ugly that Hillary Clinton hired her to be Bill's new personal secretary.

She was so ugly that she was the only congressional page that didn't get bent over.

She so ugly that everyday is Halloween.

She so ugly that when she was born the doctor slapped her mama.

She so ugly that if Dick Cheney took her hunting and shot her in the face, she'd actually look better.

She was so ugly, when I took her to a haunted house, she came out with a job application.

She's so ugly that she's never seen her own true reflection, as the water boils, the mirror cracks, and the stainless steel warps.

She's so ugly that every time she walks past....
....a firehouse, they try to give her CPR.
....a cemetary, they try to put her back in the ground.
....a hosptial, they rush her to the emergency room.
....a beautician's shop, the workers all quit.
....a zoo, they catch her in a net.
....the sewage plant, they scream "It's Alive!"

.. the monkey house , they shout Mama!



When she got in the lifeboat they all climbed back on the Titanic

Bargis,

This is your thread and you started it off. You need to bundle these all together and post them in either magazine or the jokes section.