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AuthorMessage
IainB
Gentle with me
IainB

Location: (noun) a particular place
Registered: 7 Oct 08

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 9 Nov 09 11:06
Head of Italian government seeks women, multiple. Must enjoy threesomes foursomes and the occasional orgy. Must be able to travel. Height 5'10", must be a stunner. He he.

Jaggedone
Banned
Posted: 9 Nov 09 17:43
Oldest swinger in town requires youngest swinger out of town for some distant, ageless dating?

Duncan Whitehead
The Innuendo Kid
Posted: 9 Nov 09 23:28
SWF seeks SWM with BMW but not TB. No OAPS. WTF OAPS OK - BMW essential. No KKK or KFC employers. TSB OK.

Geneva Slim
Writer
Geneva Slim

Location: Illinois, The Scoundrel State
Registered: 9 Sep 09

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 10 Nov 09 16:55
SWTL (Single White Time Lord) looking for companion, for fun & possible intergalactic, wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey type of travel. Must be comfortable schmoozing with and possibly helping to kill all types of alien creatures. Race unimportant, but you must be human. No need to contact me; I will know if you're interested and suddenly just pop up in your life.

Jaggedone
Banned
Posted: 10 Nov 09 19:34
Male Sad Mother Fucker searching for Female Sad Mother Fucker to brighten up his day and lighten up his underpants

Jalapenoman
Spicy Hombre
Posted: 10 Nov 09 20:08
Married White Male seeking female interns to work as employees with benefits. Must enjoy smoking cigars and not mind occasional stained dresses. If you're really good, they might even name the blow job after you. Apply in person at the White House. Bill Clinton

Jalapenoman
Spicy Hombre
Posted: 10 Nov 09 20:10

Quote: IainB

SWM seeks SWF aged between 25 and 27, don't mind slight disability but must not be a gold-digger. Preference given to those who have not heard of the Beatles. No Gold Diggers! Please supply photo, so I can see if you look like a gold digger.


The girl who answered Paul McCartney's ad really couldn't qualify as she was a gold digger. I guess that you can say she didn't have a leg to stand on.

IainB
Gentle with me
IainB

Location: (noun) a particular place
Registered: 7 Oct 08

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 11 Nov 09 08:59
SWM seeks any woman. Must be a good cook. Must also be able to iron, and clean. And change the channel on the TV when I need, and service my more carnal desires any time I want. Must have NO other friends, and be unable to use the telephone. No childcare experience required, my wife took them with her.

Bargis Tryhol
The Tripod
Posted: 11 Nov 09 10:25
Quadruple amputee seeks mate. Cooking and driving skills a plus. Must like head.
Write Box 11 NYC.
Attn: Matt

Morse
-- --- .-. ... .
Posted: 11 Nov 09 11:37


SWM with head up his ass seeks mid wife for safe delivery of same...

Public Option will Pay

Morse
-- --- .-. ... .
Posted: 11 Nov 09 11:38


SWM with head up his ass seeks mid wife for safe delivery of same...

Public Option will Pay

Morse
-- --- .-. ... .
Posted: 11 Nov 09 11:39


ooops...I guess the guy had two assholes.....

Jimbo Gunn
On Remand
Jimbo Gunn

Location: HMP Belmarsh
Registered: 19 Mar 08

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 11 Nov 09 11:40
Clumsy petrol pump attendant looking for discrete fun after work. Non smoker essential.

Skoob1999
Caretaker
Skoob1999

Location: Out on a limb
Registered: 5 Sep 08

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 21 Nov 09 18:13
Hi, my name is Pompey Lil,

I'm looking for a South Carolina contractor, who was originally from Maine.

He came to Pompey on a boat to see the boats and he really rocked my boat.

Are you out there somewhere 'Cuddles'?

I'd like to get all cuddly and snuggly with you again.

Don't worry about the rash. It'll pass. Mine usually does.

Portsmouth Police Station

Cell 69.

Just ask for Lil, they all know me.

Morse
-- --- .-. ... .
Posted: 21 Nov 09 18:50

Quote: Skoob1999

Hi, my name is Pompey Lil,

I'm looking for a South Carolina contractor, who was originally from Maine.

He came to Pompey on a boat to see the boats and he really rocked my boat.

Are you out there somewhere 'Cuddles'?

I'd like to get all cuddly and snuggly with you again.

Don't worry about the rash. It'll pass. Mine usually does.

Portsmouth Police Station

Cell 69.

Just ask for Lil, they all know me.



LIL: thanks for the memories....lets keep them that way...almost recovered!



victor nicholas
Doc
victor nicholas

Location: Suwanee River
Registered: 20 Apr 08

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 21 Nov 09 18:57 - Edited By: victor nicholas, 21 Nov 09 18:57

Quote: Geneva Slim

SWTL (Single White Time Lord) looking for companion, for fun & possible intergalactic, wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey type of travel. Must be comfortable schmoozing with and possibly helping to kill all types of alien creatures. Race unimportant, but you must be human. No need to contact me; I will know if you're interested and suddenly just pop up in your life.


Liked this one Geneva.





"Foul smelling troll seeks nubile young nymph to bathe him"

- ad from the New York Review of Books

Skoob1999
Caretaker
Skoob1999

Location: Out on a limb
Registered: 5 Sep 08

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 21 Nov 09 19:42
Filthy old sod, seeks filthy old woman.

BO off the scale.

With view to buying washing machine together.

Soap powder a possibility...

Box 564354

Nick Hobbs
Writer
Nick Hobbs

Location: Braaaiiinnnsss.
Registered: 14 Nov 09

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 21 Nov 09 19:55 - Edited By: Nick Hobbs, 21 Nov 09 19:56
Single wanker looking for hand, with chores.

Morse
-- --- .-. ... .
Posted: 21 Nov 09 22:20

Old Cow Poke lonley in Bordello Falls...

Looking for love....I have step ladder...

I am udderly mad....

Safe Sex, tubes tied in knots...

Piss Gums (the better half!)

Morse
-- --- .-. ... .
Posted: 21 Nov 09 22:34


Ship's Cook....experienced in below decks cuisine...

Recently lost job due to global warming....got too hot in kitchen...

References:

*Fernando Monte Verde

*John Paul Jones

*Sir Horatio Nelson

*Hannibal Lector

*MacDonalds: Barcelona, Spain, Bergen, Norway, Bremen, Germany, Dublin, Ireland, Portsmouth, England

All organic, no preservatives used....

You Kill It, I cook it....

Skoob/ General Delivery/ Wembley







Skoob1999
Caretaker
Skoob1999

Location: Out on a limb
Registered: 5 Sep 08

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 22 Nov 09 01:19
Gunslinger

GSOH Bordello Falls

Seeks new position - preferably hovering over lithe young lady - following altercation with bastard railroad contractor.

Will consider further appearances in Bordello Falls if the price is right.

Gay Anthony (Not gay in any way. It's just a name damn it!)

Box 346548 - Bordello Falls. (Failing that, try under the table)

Morse
-- --- .-. ... .
Posted: 23 Nov 09 15:30
165 YEAR OLD PARROT SEEKS NEW HOME


MULTI LINGUAL, LOTS OF STORIES TO TELL

TIRED OF HAVING FEATHERS RUFFLED BY UNCARING CUSTODIAN

PREFER WARM TROPICAL CLIMATE...HAD ENOUGH ;OF THE UK


BOLLOCKS C/O SKOOB

IainB
Gentle with me
IainB

Location: (noun) a particular place
Registered: 7 Oct 08

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 24 Nov 09 09:18
Singer in a band seeks the woman who left him on a street corner holding a piece of cardboard. I won't be moved until I've found you! I've got to deliver this parcel dammit!


Jimbo Gunn
On Remand
Jimbo Gunn

Location: HMP Belmarsh
Registered: 19 Mar 08

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 24 Nov 09 10:42 - Edited By: Jimbo Gunn, 24 Nov 09 10:43
Fat, unattractive, female with bad dress-sense and history of mental health issues seeks man or number one album.

P.M. Wortham
Literary Dog


Registered: 26 Jun 07

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 24 Nov 09 12:39

Quote: Bargis Tryhol

Quadruple amputee seeks mate. Cooking and driving skills a plus. Must like head.
Write Box 11 NYC.
Attn: Matt


Dude, that is so wrong. Funny, but wrong.


3 Pages - « 1 [2] 3 »
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