Discussion Forum

I can think of two..................



Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Well... three ways.

1. It is a good substitute for napalm.
2. Coated on a jemmy it allows it to slip easily in between the car window and door to open it.
3. You can use it to write secret messages on mirros.

Are any of those your two ways? if not then we have five.

Iain

Provides amazing comfort when the harsh requirements for writing spoofs, including endless hours in an uncomfortable desk chair, chaps my ass.

Ahhh.



PM

If you freeze it, you can use it as a sculpting agent, provided you have a potter's wheel.

Imagine what that scene from Ghost would have looked like with vaseline instead of clay?

Ellie

I can think of several uses, but you better ask Gay Larry for some expert advice.

Comes in handy for greasing the fruit bats as winter draws in.

Regards

Skoob.

Dora Cattermole swears by it.

Says it does wonders for her bunions..

Regards..

Alf

A good selection people, I also use it to stop the scabs falling on the rug...........................


Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Rub a little Vaseline on the inside of your candle holders before putting in the candle to prevent the wax from sticking it.

Use it as a lubricant on your spinnaker pole. (Yacht pole I mean of course)

Help prevent nappy (diaper) rash. Apply a thin coat of Vaseline to your bottom before putting a fresh diaper on.


Inch

---

Quote: Inchcock

Rub a little Vaseline on the inside of your candle holders before putting in the candle to prevent the wax from sticking it.

Use it as a lubricant on your spinnaker pole. (Yacht pole I mean of course)

Help prevent nappy (diaper) rash. Apply a thin coat of Vaseline to your bottom before putting a fresh diaper on.


Inch

---

Hmmm

I wonder if I would admit to wearing a diaper, much less knowing about the soothing effects of vaseline on diaper rash.

I guess, it Depends.



(Chuckle, chortle, snicker & snipe)

PM

PMW,
The problem is getting them on and off in this weather when wearing long Johns you know.

I believe Vasaline Zaitsev the Russian sniper had similar problems.

Take care

Inch

Inch, you are by far, one of the funniest people I have never met, you have me in fits of laughter!

Thank you, mate, please dont stop.


Love Light and Peace


Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dearest Arm,
Thanks a million for saying that, and may all your foibles receive the attention and appreciations that they deserve, with a mention in despatches.

Your worth your weight in gold.

Just burnt another saucepan by the way.

Love

Inch

x

Rub some on your glasses. Experience old age.

Pretty dry there Inch, but superb. Old vic use to crack such gems, where is he BTW? Maybe he got eaten by a hungry Grizzly?

---

Quote: Inchcock

PMW,
The problem is getting them on and off in this weather when wearing long Johns you know.

I believe Vasaline Zaitsev the Russian sniper had similar problems.

Take care

Inch

---

Use it instead of butter as a slimming aid - doubly useful since it induces bulimia.

I like to smother myself in Vasaline, and slip out at night time without the wife knowing.


Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Turkish wrestlers do it too

Talking of Turkish...

When you dye Vaseline pink, it makes a reasonable Turkish Delight substitute. Possibly better, as it's slightly less toxic.

Iain

---

Quote: armfeetandtoe

I like to smother myself in Vasaline, and slip out at night time without the wife knowing.


Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

---

That's alright Arm, it's when you slip in and she doesn't notice that you need to me concerned!

Believe me, I know!

Inch

xx

You know it Inch! I came home blind drunk one night, some of the vasaline had worn off, the creeking gave me away.

She was a little surprised to find me on all fours. Mind you, so was the dog............


Love as always

Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

True fact: The inventor of Vasiline ate a teaspoon of it every day his whole life. He swore it was good for your health. See: "Boyd's Book of Facts."

Thanks for that Sam, does it say anything about how he lived with a sore arse all his life?

Just asking


Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I noticed you can but Vaseline - Creme Brulee at £2-99 a tin at the site below.

Vaseline Creme Brulee

Don't really know why I said that?

Jag:
I think he probably did get eaten by a hungry Grizzly?


Inch

Inchcock, it seems that our Victor choked on one of his fab one-liner specials and bit his tongue, the smell of blood attracted the grizzly and hence, RIP, in the belly of a mastermind, scrabbling grizzly. Sad times here without old Vic Shakespeare would say and I quote; ( no I won't, I'm a Shakespearean ignoramus).