Discussion Forum

Onomatopoeia, verb. Drunken slurs from the Oasis Bar & Grill restroom following accidental drippage on your pants from the bloke at the other urinal. "Onomatopoeia in the toilet or on the floor mate, just not on me pants".

Hollow Point, noun. A perspective or a position that a Spoof writer tries to take, but is unable to adequately sell. "I see what you are trying to say Mr. Skoob, but it is a Hollow Point."

Initiate, verb. Another drunken slur routinely heard at the OB&G between couples ordering appetizers. "I ordered one plate of hot wings to share, went to water the lillies, Initiate them all before I got back".


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Dubai Debbie from Birmingham


Tin Can Two tins

Can-Can Two tins

Tin-Tin Belgium cartoon character

Gruntled Feeling of elation as in Ms Cartland's novel The Handsome Horseman "Oh Mr Drayby, I was feeling rather disgruntled until you put your hand up my skirt, but now I have come over all gruntled"

Featured Writer Noun: Spoofers very own Daily Play National Lottery game. No purchase necessary.
'Are you Featured Writer?' 'No, Fergus won it, again!'

Newbie Noun: Person new to spoofing, often to be embraced or chastised on the forum, depending on their style of introduction.
example:
'Hi, I'm great, and you'll all love me 'cause I'm the shit! I'll show you how to make top spoofer in four days!'

'Newbie wanker!'

or

'Hi everyone, love the site, just thought I'd say hello and introduce myself!'

'Oh hi Newbie, come in, have a glass of wine in the OB+G, feel free to pop back any time, and if you need anything, Mark's office is over there!'

Whackatit: (1) Figuratively whack-at-it - American English for the French salut a tous. Also, American English for the British version Give it a Go.

(2) Literally whack-a-tit - take a small club and whack a woman's breast. Not an acceptable form of greeting.

Charpa

Aeroplane Devise used to shave slivers of chocolate from confectionery bars.


Smidgen Small pigeon


Smack Small hamburger


Smock Gentle leg-pulling as in Frankie Howard "Smock me not missus"


Smoke Small acorn producing tree

Rectum, verb. The act of destroying something. "I used to have two credit cards with good balances, but my wife, she Rectum both"

Nice one PM! =] Although it's already heading towards the ISIHAC game (no bad thing!)

CARPACCHIO n. A badly resprayed Italian automobile.


TIME LORD n. A successful watch manufacturer who has donated £2m quid to the Conservative Party.

DATE RAPE n. Forced congress with a a sweet fruit. (viz. Q: 'This date rape thing. Don't you have to take the stone out first?' A: 'I ended up taking the stone out. We had a lovely, if somewhat one-sided conversation in the pub.')

Spoofasm, n. The narrative act of getting off, alone, at your writer's desk. "I'd love to right now, but I'm busy having a Spoofasm watching my hit counter"

OSAB, n. One Star Ass Bandit. The Act of smudging someone's fine Spoof effort with a single thumb or star. Punishable by the honey/fire ant torture.

WWTBTGMOT, phrase/acronym. "Who Was The Bastard That Gave Me One Thumb". See OSAB.

Forum Play, n. The harmless though suggestive banter between the sexes in the Forum. "This Forum Play has me all worked up. I'll need the lotion and the kitchen sink next."

IGU phrase/acronym 'I Give Up', said after spending three days finely crafting a well written, topical and unbelievably clever, yet funny piece which nobody reads or rates, then hammering out a 30 second, two paragraph piece on Simon Cowell shagging a donkey which garners 87 '5 thumbs' and 6 million and two hits in under 40 seconds!

IMBDSW, phrase/acronym. I Must Be Doing Something Wrong. see Hobbs. "Even when pandering to popular Hollywood topical puff pieces, I can never pull more than a thousand or more hits in a single day. Clearly I'm not bribing the search engine executive bastages enough.

Drybiro-ed The state of utter despair felt after writing your best piece to date and realising that you can't thing up anything else as funny. A state normally followed by heavy alcohol consumption at the OB&G






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Rooney (To be lumbered with a ) Something that costs money despite having no benefits to the owner. As in: We have your divorce settlement through Mr Smith and I'm afraid it is a bit of a Rooney. You have to pay your lazy, adulterous ex wife a thousand pounds a week until some other mug takes her on.

Do A Katie: verb: Derived from X-Factor contestant Katie Waissel who froze on stage and said, 'oh sod it' - whilst writing a story that clearly isn't working, saying "Fuck it. I'm gonna do a Katie on this one."

Historical reference: William Shakespeare:

"Anne, this episode of 'Below Decks just isn't working out. Fuck it, I'll do a Katie."

This thread is far too clever for me, I'm fucking off

Phantasm, n. A near orgasmic experience when receiving hate mail from a fan who believed your story was real.

Gerbilectomy, n. An uncommon medical procedure involving the anal extraction of live rodents after a felching incident goes awry.

Thigh-Sighted, n. A temporary vision impairment caused by the crossing of your partner's legs while you're still wearing your glasses.

Hodeedo, phrase. A common Cajun yell whilst running towards the closing doors of an elevator.

Tree Number of euros remaining in the Irish Treasury.

Turd - between 2nd and 4th.

graveyard-place where my 'unread'
magazine articles reside at the moment

impetus - what the little boy said to his mom after a meeting with Skoob

impedance - elf doing a 'Michael Flatley'
impression

manometer- instrument used for measuring the true 'worth' of a man (goes from zero to one!)

Lady G.

secondary - located right next to the first dairy

delight - As in 'please turn off...'

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Quote: Nick Hobbs

IGU phrase/acronym 'I Give Up', said after spending three days finely crafting a well written, topical and unbelievably clever, yet funny piece which nobody reads or rates, then hammering out a 30 second, two paragraph piece on Simon Cowell shagging a donkey which garners 87 '5 thumbs' and 6 million and two hits in under 40 seconds!

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IHT I heard that!

Sushi- a delightful Japanese seafood dish.

Tushi- another delightful dish, but not to be ordered where the waitress wields a sharp knife.

Reporting something journalists think means 'stealing stories from Spoof Writers'

Journalist - cousin of a Politician

Politician - synonym for ventriloquist's dummy

Henry - Study of chickens


Sodomy - Study of lumps of earth with grass on the top


Buggery - Study of insects


Wankery - Study of rotary engine design


Country - Study of merchant bankers

Redundant, adj. Col. Eng. - A phrase uttered by mumbling adolescent boys about redoing something.
I redundant girl over there.


Refresh, v. - An action performed by Spoofers when their peice does not get through to the Approval Centre

Duplicate, n. - The consequence of refreshing.

Skeen, n. Col. Eng. - 1) Okay. Ah, skeen bro. 2) n. A piece of string.

Bad, adj. Col. Eng. - Good. 2) adj. Terrible.

Wankered - Heavily intoxicated.

As in: Barbera Cartland's The Romance of Miss Emily

"This would be the first time for Emily. She had kept herself chaste for her one true love, The fair haired Jason.
As she lay upon the damask bed cover; her breast heaving with barely suppressed desire, she was unaware that the moment she had been awaiting (and half dreading) would pass her by this fair night, for Jason was with the Duke at the local tavern discussing the hunt meeting and getting totally wankered on lager in the process."

Complements to all on this!