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The dearth of excitement continues on the forums. Gone are the days of pissing ourselves with laughter at our common lunacy.

Oh for the good ol days, Earl Grey, EQ, SFO, Monkey, Vic, JP, etc, where are you all?

And where are the new guys and girls? Don't be afraid, we don't bite!

It seems that Skoob and myself are the only one's here every evening and slowly we are also turning sour, grey, bald and demented! (I'm that already!)

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Quote: Jaggedone

The dearth of excitement continues on the forums. Gone are the days of pissing oursleves with laughter at our common lunacy.

Oh for the good ol days, Earl Grey, EQ, SFO, Monkey, Vic, JP, etc, where are you all?

And where are the new guys and girls? Don't be afraid, we don't bite!

It seems that Skoob and myself are the only one's here every evening and slowly we are also turning sour, grey, bald and demented! (I'm that already!)

---

JO:

Bitch, bitch, bitch! You would complain if they hung you with a new rope.

How are things going?

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Quote: Philbert of Macadamia

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Quote: Jaggedone

The dearth of excitement continues on the forums. Gone are the days of pissing oursleves with laughter at our common lunacy.

Oh for the good ol days, Earl Grey, EQ, SFO, Monkey, Vic, JP, etc, where are you all?

And where are the new guys and girls? Don't be afraid, we don't bite!

It seems that Skoob and myself are the only one's here every evening and slowly we are also turning sour, grey, bald and demented! (I'm that already!)

---

JO:

Bitch, bitch, bitch! You would complain if they hung you with a new rope.

How are things going?

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POM, manic depressive JO, dying for a laugh or two, as for being a Bitch, I've never been in prison so I wouldn't know?

POM, lovely to hear from you, you woke me up and I smiled (at last) just taking my third dose of prozac (every five minutes), keep up the moral while I top myself!

What's up?

Sorry, I was power sleeping again.

Wha...?

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Quote: Jaggedone

The dearth of excitement continues on the forums. Gone are the days of pissing oursleves with laughter at our common lunacy.

Oh for the good ol days, Earl Grey, EQ, SFO, Monkey, Vic, JP, etc, where are you all?

And where are the new guys and girls? Don't be afraid, we don't bite!

It seems that Skoob and myself are the only one's here every evening and slowly we are also turning sour, grey, bald and demented! (I'm that already!)

---

Dearest JO:

You don't bite, my arse. Now, notice that I strategically placed a comma in that sentence to disagree with you about biting. If I'd left out the comma, the statement would have specifically stated you don't bite my arse, but it still doesn't rule out your biting in general. See how that works?



Charpa

I'm not really here.

I'm in a woodwork class.

Brilliant this nightschool lark.

Regards

Skoob

I've just re-formatted my laptop after catching a near fatal (well, bloody annoying) virus and then realising the anti-virus was switched off.

Happy days..........................

birb

I had a virus last week.

Horrible it was.

I won't go into detail.

Regards

Skoob.

When I say I have just re-formatted my lap-top, what I really mean is that I have spent most of the day watching a bloke at work re-format it for me.
I did, however, manage to update all the window thingys, after he told me what to do.

I think I have double glazing now.............

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Quote: Skoob1999

I'm not really here.

I'm in a woodwork class.

Brilliant this nightschool lark.

Regards

Skoob

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What are you making? What are you hoping to be able to achieve at a woodworking nightclass? What are your aims and aspirations when you are finished the nightclasses?
Well? Well???????

Stop fucking around at that shit and go and do something productive or even proactive with your life, there's so much more to be doing than making badly finished bevelled jewellery box and crappy burled fountain pens that no one will ever use.

You have to ask yourself Skoob, "Do I want to be the type of person that has a stall at trade shows proudly showing people how to woodturn breakfast bowls from bits of pallets?"

Do you really want to wear braces with inches and feet marked on them?

Do you??!!!!



There's so much more to be done... Go out and kick the fuck out of a few tracksuit wearing hoodied little fuckwits, it's fun, it's exercise and it helps the local community.

Funny you should say that Fergus. I'm building a 32 foot wooden horse. With wheels. Then I'm going to hide inside it with a big stick and a curtain rod, then get the wife to push it up the shops. Then when the hoody little fuckers gather around it, I'm going to jump out and hit them with the big stick and twirl the curtain rod about a bit, like that Lee chap. Him out of the kung-fu films.

In me pork pie hat.

That'll show the buggers.

Regards

Skoob.

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Quote: Skoob1999

Funny you should say that Fergus. I'm building a 32 foot wooden horse. With wheels. Then I'm going to hide inside it with a big stick and a curtain rod, then get the wife to push it up the shops. Then when the hoody little fuckers gather around it, I'm going to jump out and hit them with the big stick and twirl the curtain rod about a bit, like that Lee chap. Him out of the kung-fu films.

In me pork pie hat.

That'll show the buggers.

Regards

Skoob.

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Now I don't care who you are, that's funny!

I wasn't joking.

Honest.

Regards

Skoob

A few pointers here.
They'll have the wheels off in seconds.
It doesn't need to be a horse, they dont recognise animals like horses, or any animals in fact. Except pit bulls.
So dont do too much horse type detail, its unnecessary.
Certainly, go out with a curtain pole and big stick, I would suggest a microphone though instead. They know what they are.
Tell them you are recruiting for a new Big Brother type show and ask them to queue and come round the corner one by one, without dogs, knives or backup and that will give you a better crack at them.
Tell the hardest one thats hes through to the "next stage" but hes got to prove he's a "fun guy" by stripping off and prancing round like an idiot in front of his mates OR alternatively he could prove he has the type of sense of humour you are looking for by tying sausages and meat scraps to his genitals and taunting his mates pit bulls.
Hitting them with a stick just isnt enough Skoob.

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Quote: Skoob1999

I'm not really here.

I'm in a woodwork class.

Brilliant this nightschool lark.

Regards

Skoob

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...you'll be fitting cabinets with Ferg then I guess....you two should bring new meaning to the Irish Lasses with your knowledge of 'tongue in groove' fittings...

probably good work on countertops no doubt...countersinking and all.....

remember, always use the right size hammer for the job...you should be good at trim work....the 12 oz one works...the 22 oz framing hammer you'd better leave to Fergus...I don't know where JO fits in all of this....

maybe on the screw gun....good drywall man I bet....!

Brilliant guys and dolls, that's what we all need here, MADNESS, FUCKING MADNESS AND EVEN MORE MADNESS, I'VE JUST PISSED MYSELF LAUGHING FOR THE FIRST TIME IN WEEKS!!!!!!

GRATEFUL JO, KEEP IT UP (VIAGRA IS ON ITS WAY!!)

Thanks for the tips Cap and Carina.

Thing is, I haven't got the time to piss about, so the curtain rod and the stick will have to do. It's a fine big stick with a bloody great knot on the business end.

JO

This really won't do. It's the second time to my knowledge that you've come on the forums complaining about how dead they are.

Then as soon as people start communicating, you bugger off.

What's all that about?

Regards

Skoob.

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Quote: Skoob1999

Thanks for the tips Cap and Carina.

Thing is, I haven't got the time to piss about, so the curtain rod and the stick will have to do. It's a fine big stick with a bloody great knot on the business end.

JO

This really won't do. It's the second time to my knowledge that you've come on the forums complaining about how dead they are.

Then as soon as people start communicating, you bugger off.

What's all that about?

Regards

Skoob.

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I was on till 22.30 CET yesterday and nearly fell asleep and I simply can't wait for our US colleagues to get aroused? Sorry Skoob, but I know what you mean, not in a "wag" way.

The thread certainly got the ball rolling though. There's so much talent out there we deserve to treat ourselves to a giggle here on the forums and not hide??

Anyway, I've had my dose of prozac and have just jumped off of the roof of my bridge!

See you before Utd kick off!

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Quote: Jaggedone

Oh for the good ol days, Earl Grey, EQ, SFO, Monkey, Vic, JP, etc, where are you all?

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JO

I've gone back to a former employer for our busy season, so I haven't had much time on my hands lately.

Nice to know you're thinking about me, but not in a gay way.

Great thread. I've missed you guys, too. Hugs and kisses to you all!

But in a "gay" way, not a gay way.

Skoob,

May I please taste your pork pie hat?

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Quote: The San Francisco Onion

Skoob,

May I please taste your pork pie hat?

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Quote: The San Francisco Onion

Skoob,

May I please taste your pork pie hat?

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Cancel that.

I got my own.

I have an extra - if you'd like to share, that would be nice.

But not in a 'you and me in the mud' way.



You pig.

Regards,

SFO

I've gone back to a former employer for our busy season, so I haven't had much time on my hands lately.

Nice to know you're thinking about me, but not in a gay way.

Great thread. I've missed you guys, too. Hugs and kisses to you all!

But in a "gay" way, not a gay way.

SFO, of course I think about you, the good guys here are unreplacable!

Good luck with your new position, JO

I get on here when I can, but even if I'm not on another fucking planet, I'm still 10 hours ahead of you guys (Brisbane = GMT +10 hours). We'll see how it goes. Have a nice evening everybody.

Sidney

If you ever get back to this thread, you're 10 hours ahead of us in the UK as I understand it.

Monkey Woods is about 8 ahead (check him out - he's kind of a ruthless schizoid bastard, but I always liked him)

SFO - he's about 8 behind us, which puts him two ahead of you but on a different day.

Same with Charpa, but that's about three ahead of you.

On a different day.

But don't despair - there's always the insomniacs, the neurotics and the not quite right in the head brigade over here.

Anyway, enough of this.

Put another prawn on the barby.

It's nearly winter here. Again.

Regards

Skoob.

Sidney:

Welcome to the funny farm.