Discussion Forum

Hiya....well I've returned from 3 weeks in England visiting friends and family (not so many of them left these days, sad to say) and I don't know how to get back into 'writing' mode.

Do any of you know the best way to do it? I'm out of touch with so much and - beginning the F. Plan diet....High Fibre...lots of trips to the loo down the line....The diet involves counting calories and grams of fibre....

So...come on, you veterans....how DO you get BACK into the 'zone'???

Regards, Lady G. (Still BAV...but if the diet works....well...you never know )

Write up the 23 bizarre things that happened to you while you were in England, such as the butcher trying to convince you that the whole of England has now gone metric so he can't possible sell in ounces, and the traffic warden who wrote you a ticket while you were waiting to turn right; then finish it off with a mag article on the differences between the English and Americans, written in the style of Jules Verne.

Iain

Oh, Iain! This has already been done to death!

Godiva, go out into the street, get onto a bus, and just sit there waiting for the next spoof to happen. It will, believe me.

If it doesn't, email me, and I will send you one of my drafts to use as your own.

No charge. However, quality will not be guaranteed.

Well, there is this one site that I've been going to that I get a lot of good stories from. It is really well organized. www.therepublic.com. Go there and go to the "fun" tab and then the "odd" tab and you'll find some fodder I think.

Just leave some good stuff for me.

Charpa

Try listening to this.

That always works for my ghostwriter.

Thanks for all the tips....loved the music...Charpa..I'll go take a peek.

Monkey....nice idea...but WE DON'T HAVE ANY BUSES in our little town for me to sit on. The nearest place to catch a bus...and it's a "Greyhound" is 13 kms. from here and there are not many of them pass through in a day....maybe 2.

Only one Main Street, and it's not very long.
There was only ONE set of traffic lights when we arrived here from England in 1982....but now we boast THREE SETS!
All of them are on Main Street (which is part of Highway 6-for those interested).

Hamilton is 45 mins. away. THEY have a regular bus service but it "don't come out into the boonies" it heads the 'other way' to Toronto...but I'd have to drive down their to catch one....that's where we pick one of our daughters up when she comes up from the Big City for a visit!

No buses, no taxis, no police (they've moved out), no hospital, the dentist died, no movie theatre, no decent pub you'd be seen alive in. BUT.....GOOD NEWS FOR LOCAL CHRISTIANS....THERE ARE 5 CHURCHES IN TOWN. More actually because there are many 'born agains' who are starting up new little 'churches' of their own.

Good news - NO McDONALDS!

Port Dover, Ontario, on the shores of Lake Erie, famous for its Fresh Water Perch - Population 6 000. But last Friday 13th we had 150 000 visitors for the Motor Bike rally......should be on You Tube by now!!!

Well, I decided to read and read - your articles....and after a while....I floated into a little zone.

Great to be back!

Regards,

Lady G.

Glad we could help.

Your town sounds weird. Almost as weird as Burrer.

It is wierd....that's why I love it here.

Kids going down to the coffee shop (and sometimes adults too) wearing their pyjamas....even some kids going to school in pyjama bottoms if their jeans are getting washed!

LG

Are you talking about Burrer?

Where's Burrer ? I come from The Boro, in England and have seen a couple of pairs of pyjama bottoms walking around there this past few weeks.

Tell be how to find out about Burrer....I seem to have missed something along the way.

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Quote: Lady Godiva

Thanks for all the tips....loved the music...Charpa..I'll go take a peek.

Monkey....nice idea...but WE DON'T HAVE ANY BUSES in our little town for me to sit on. The nearest place to catch a bus...and it's a "Greyhound" is 13 kms. from here and there are not many of them pass through in a day....maybe 2.

Only one Main Street, and it's not very long.
There was only ONE set of traffic lights when we arrived here from England in 1982....but now we boast THREE SETS!
All of them are on Main Street (which is part of Highway 6-for those interested).

Hamilton is 45 mins. away. THEY have a regular bus service but it "don't come out into the boonies" it heads the 'other way' to Toronto...but I'd have to drive down their to catch one....that's where we pick one of our daughters up when she comes up from the Big City for a visit!

No buses, no taxis, no police (they've moved out), no hospital, the dentist died, no movie theatre, no decent pub you'd be seen alive in. BUT.....GOOD NEWS FOR LOCAL CHRISTIANS....THERE ARE 5 CHURCHES IN TOWN. More actually because there are many 'born agains' who are starting up new little 'churches' of their own.

Good news - NO McDONALDS!

Port Dover, Ontario, on the shores of Lake Erie, famous for its Fresh Water Perch - Population 6 000. But last Friday 13th we had 150 000 visitors for the Motor Bike rally......should be on You Tube by now!!!

Well, I decided to read and read - your articles....and after a while....I floated into a little zone.

Great to be back!

Regards,

Lady G.

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Spent the night in Hamilton once, long story, great pubs.

I had a two week break at Christmas and I still haven't got back in the zone. In fact I'm having problems even locating the zone on a map. I think its been moved and I'll never find it again.

I too have lost my way - if I ever had a 'way'. Seem to have given up, what with life, work and all that bollocks taking over.

Queer thing with writing is, it's not easy, and it gets harder the less you keep at it.

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Quote: Erskin Quint

I too have lost my way - if I ever had a 'way'. Seem to have given up, what with life, work and all that bollocks taking over.

Queer thing with writing is, it's not easy, and it gets harder the less you keep at it.

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Some of the best Spoofs ever written have been yours Erskin!

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Quote: Erskin Quint

I too have lost my way - if I ever had a 'way'. Seem to have given up, what with life, work and all that bollocks taking over.

Queer thing with writing is, it's not easy, and it gets harder the less you keep at it.

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Some of the best Spoofs I've ever read have been yours Erskin!

Gee thanks QM, much appreciated.

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Quote: queen mudder

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Quote: Erskin Quint

I too have lost my way - if I ever had a 'way'. Seem to have given up, what with life, work and all that bollocks taking over.

Queer thing with writing is, it's not easy, and it gets harder the less you keep at it.

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Some of the best Spoofs I've ever read have been yours Erskin!

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I'm with QM all the way on that one. I totally enjoy your articles, Erskin. If we have to wait a while longer between them, sobeit. Your writing is like a fine wine, it isn't to be gulped, but sipped and enjoyed over time.

You probably could have said it better than me, but I think you get the gist of my meaning.


charpa

I agree with QM too. You have written some of the best ones Mr Quint. I've always loved your stories. Thank you for writing them, and keep going because I'm going to keep going as well.

We may have lost the compass and accidentally burned the map to that zone but we'll find it again. We'll just have to go about finding it like explorers in the 19th Century like Livingstone and Scott of the Antartic etc.

We could even start a new club called " The Adventurers in search of the zone" Club.

LG:

When I run out of ideas I steal them from the masters here on preposition mountain.

Or, I listen to Lewis Black.

Or I read urban legends about Target Stores killing Salvation Army bell ringers at Christmas.

Or anything written by or spoken on Trinity Broadcasting Network.

I have to be really pissed off, or just piss-faced, to write my bestestest.

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Quote: Lady Godiva

Where's Burrer ? I come from The Boro, in England

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Back when I was a lad, I used to belong to the group of people that would follow Hull City around the country, to whichever provincial dump they were playing in next. It was quite a little army, and had attracted 'interest' from other clubs' supporters.

For a while, some lads from Middlesbrough would come down to Hull, and travel with us to wherever we were going - Bradford, Port Vale, Rochdale, Torquay and other places like them - and would talk about their own team and town. They always referred to Middlesbrough as 'Burrer', and that's why I used that term here. It seemed reasonable.

But, if, as you suggest, the folks 'back home' refer to the town as 'The Boro', in that Oxbridge accent (do they really use 'The' before 'Boro'?), then I stand corrected. If I ever have cause to visit Middlesbrough again, I shall bear in mind the refined way in which local people speak, and try not to fall into the trap of assuming there is a local accent in the area.

Many apologies for my indescretion.

No..you ARE correct....I wasn't sure if we were talking about the same place...you wrote it the way it is pronounced and I wrote it the way it's writ!

There's a lad from Middlesbrough, here in Port Dover, from Middlesbrough originally, and his license plate is THE BORO.

I didn't mean to sound 'snotty'...just checking we were talking about the same place

Lady G.

Frankie, does the Trinity network have anything to do with 'religion'....if so.....no comment on that one!

Thanks for the tips.

Found yourself a girlfriend yet?

Lady G.

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Quote: Charpa93

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Quote: queen mudder

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Quote: Erskin Quint

I too have lost my way - if I ever had a 'way'. Seem to have given up, what with life, work and all that bollocks taking over.

Queer thing with writing is, it's not easy, and it gets harder the less you keep at it.

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Some of the best Spoofs I've ever read have been yours Erskin!

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I'm with QM all the way on that one. I totally enjoy your articles, Erskin. If we have to wait a while longer between them, sobeit. Your writing is like a fine wine, it isn't to be gulped, but sipped and enjoyed over time.

You probably could have said it better than me, but I think you get the gist of my meaning.


charpa

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Thanks KF. Oh well, if you promise to keep going then so will I!

We could say we've been resting for a while. Like actors. Or something.

EQ

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Quote: Katarina Frogpond2

I agree with QM too. You have written some of the best ones Mr Quint. I've always loved your stories. Thank you for writing them, and keep going because I'm going to keep going as well.

We may have lost the compass and accidentally burned the map to that zone but we'll find it again. We'll just have to go about finding it like explorers in the 19th Century like Livingstone and Scott of the Antartic etc.

We could even start a new club called " The Adventurers in search of the zone" Club.

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Suggest to read about Seaton Carew,
that fellow that Birbee writes about.

He seems to keep himself quite busy,
An inspiration for us all.