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I went into a shop today. I saw something I thought would be nice. I was going to purchase it with money.

It was only then that I noticed the checkout staff. They were having their own private conversation away from the desk and looking like complete and utter bastards. I didn't like the look of them at all.
I put the item back on the shelf and walked out.

Anybody else walk out of shops because they hated the shop assistants or just wished that they were all dead or robots?

They're all bastards LP.

Especially the little old ladies in charity shops.

You've got to watch them like they watch you.

The bastards.

Regards

Skoob.

The ones with dreadlocks are the worst. They really don't want to be there.

Let me tell you about my deep fat fryer.
Last week the handle of my previous deep fat fryer broke. The spring went. Stupid spring. I went off to get a new one.
Argos are having a laugh. I'm not paying that for a deep fat fryer, I'm not. And the size of it. Too small. Fuck off.

I went next door. I see one I like: fair sized basket, practical design, looks good and sturdy, brand name. I'm willing to part with my money.
I stand there waiting for some bastard to come over. And I wait a bit more. I grab some diseased-looking little fella who's been packing the shelves and tell him to get a checkout assistant for me. He scurries off like a rat.

And I wait.

There's a fella selling some couple a telly on the far side of the showroom. Big sale. He's not budging for me and my basket.
I'm going to walk out but I have nowhere else to go. Argos are too expensive and I like the look of the one here.

Eventually some little sniveling bastard appears. I tell him I've been waiting ages. He immediately goes into a big spiel about how great the shop is!
I let him check out the deep fat fryer and then I tell him the shop is shit and walk out.

And the moral of the story is: shop assistant's are bastards, but if you want a nice deep fat fryer you have to endure them.

I'm off shopping now. Thinking of getting a laptop.

I refuse to be served by little old ladies, dreadlocked badger botherers, tree huggers, or people with 'Hi My Name Is Twatt And I'm Here To Help' badges.

Bastards one and all.

Grrrrrr

Skoob.

I was in Tesco earlier.

I wanted to buy a frying pan and a bottle of water.

I didn't get the frying pan but I went to the kiosk with my water and there was four checkout women folding Lottery promotional things.

After about 5 minutes one of them was gracious enough to notice me.

Cunts...............

BASTARDS!

Skoob.

Tesco. I agree with you.
I hate their managers. They aren't managers. They can't manage anything.
They are shelf-stackers in ill-fitting suits. I hate them.

Tesco's stuff has been shit lately.
I bought a pack of mince on Friday. The packs have been getting smaller since early last year.
Pretty soon I could fit a pack of mince in me ear, they're shrinking that much. And you know how much I like a nice bit of mince with carrots, potatoes and some bread. Bastards.

I'm going to go to Asda now.

I bet they're cunts too............

Not much better in the Colonies, Mates!

One local food mart was noted for it's surly help. It was so bad the local fish wrapper even allowed letters to the editor to appear, even though it was politically incorrect.

The store was remodeled, everyone greeted you with 'welcome to XXXXXX" and they even hired a chinese-american and several american-americans.

Business improved, and I spent more time in this store as opposed to going to 'the other store' where there were plenty of check out people, everyone was pleasant, and one could even delve into conversations about the quality of the turnips, but 3 miles further up the road.

Since the election in Mass. I noticed a distinct change in Store XXXXXX. Those at the check out don't want to be there, don't look you in the eye, won't engage in polite conversation, and don't even respond to compliments.
The chinese guy is gone, and the only white people are little old ladies holding on to their purses with two hands, and me...but I have a carry permit.

Yesterday they were 'training' a new cashier. About 5'3" 165 with two dangling heart shaped earlings bigger than the cantelopes I had contemplated buying. She was dressed worse than Michelle Obama as was at least 14 months pregnant with no wedding ring.

Being in the express aisle, and only one other check out open, I was annoyed that I was the tenth person in line while the new employee was being trained...on how to open the cash drawer!

PS: in this store, check your eggs before buying....usually have to go throughl 5 cartons before finding an even dozen intact...

For a Preview on Socialism make sure you visit XXXXX when you come to South Carolina....makes you see RED!

Bastards! Twats!

Morse, Skoob, LisaPisa, birbee:

Remember a retail electronics store called "Circuit City?" Don't know if they were ever in the UK?

They went into bankruptcy because their sales people were never available and when they did show up they knew nothing about their own electronic products.

People did their own research and went to the COSCOs, Wall Marts, BJs etal or to the web and picked up/ordered what products they wanted.

People vote with their feet.

Phil: just like govt....the bigger they get the less they give a shit.
Management never leaves their offices, have too many meetings, and think an accountant can fix the bottom line...

Pricks!

What's equally horrid is obsequious Uriah Heep type of excruciating fawning over customers.

"Goodmorning, Madam, and may I say how priviledged/overjoyed/lucky we are to have your custom again/..." type of bollox.

Poncy city restaurants really bad at this sort of thing; at least at your local Spud-U-Like they're upfront about hating customers but without actually gobbing up in your baked King Edward-au-gratin....

Ms. Pisa

Thats the spirit.

Suggest you return all previously purchased merchandise while you're at it just to show those rotters who's boss.

Victor

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Quote: LisaPisa

I went into a shop today. I saw something I thought would be nice. I was going to purchase it with money.

It was only then that I noticed the checkout staff. They were having their own private conversation away from the desk and looking like complete and utter bastards. I didn't like the look of them at all.
I put the item back on the shelf and walked out.

Anybody else walk out of shops because they hated the shop assistants or just wished that they were all dead or robots?

---

The one I really hate is Sam's Wholesale Club. It's like going through airport security just to exit the store.

First, they want to see (again) your member card and reciept and then they compare the items in your cart to your receipt. After looking back and forth between you, your receipt, and the items in your car, they'll mark it with a highlighter and allow you to leave.

Now...as I understand the law, once the cashier accepted payment for my mechandise and closed the cash register, everything in that cart belongs to me. I don't have to stop for the interrogation and inspection....so I don't!

I just blow right by them.

When they call me or chase after me to say that I need to be "checked out" of the store, I tell them that they have no right to illegal search and siezure and keep going.

Once, while running a movie theatre, I found out that my delivery truck from Rico's (Abel will recognize the company) in San Antonio was broken down and that I would not get my deliery before Monday. It was a huge weekend and I had some big openings and needed popcorn seed, nacho chips, and nacho cheese really bad.

I went to Sam's and got 60 cases of chips, 10 cases of #10 cans of cheese, 5 cases of #10 cans of jalapenos, and twenty cases of popcorn seed (50 pounds per case). The store loaded it all on pallets (I never actually touched any of the boxes because the order was so big) and was taking it out for me to a couple of trucks I had waiting outside.

When we got to the door, the manager insisted that he had to open each and every case to make sure that I wasn't taking anything out.

Sure enough, they ripped open every box.

As soon as they did that, I handed him back the receipt and demanded my money back.

I hate being treated like a thief and I hate Sam's clubs.

I work in a mid-level department store and a good portion of my salary comes from commission.

I have the motivation to be pleasant, attentive and courteous. Which I always am, of course.

I was a Barman once upon a time.


Ireland and England, in England some people, on the outskirts of London 20 years ago, liked to add a dash of blackcurrant cordial to their pint or half pint of Guinness just to give it a different flavour.



Not on my watch.

Quite right too Fergus.

Blackcurrant in Guinness?

WTF?

Regards

Skoob.

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Quote: LisaPisa

The ones with dreadlocks are the worst. They really don't want to be there.

Let me tell you about my deep fat fryer.
Last week the handle of my previous deep fat fryer broke. The spring went. Stupid spring. I went off to get a new one.
Argos are having a laugh. I'm not paying that for a deep fat fryer, I'm not. And the size of it. Too small. Fuck off.

I went next door. I see one I like: fair sized basket, practical design, looks good and sturdy, brand name. I'm willing to part with my money.
I stand there waiting for some bastard to come over. And I wait a bit more. I grab some diseased-looking little fella who's been packing the shelves and tell him to get a checkout assistant for me. He scurries off like a rat.

And I wait.

There's a fella selling some couple a telly on the far side of the showroom. Big sale. He's not budging for me and my basket.
I'm going to walk out but I have nowhere else to go. Argos are too expensive and I like the look of the one here.

Eventually some little sniveling bastard appears. I tell him I've been waiting ages. He immediately goes into a big spiel about how great the shop is!
I let him check out the deep fat fryer and then I tell him the shop is shit and walk out.

And the moral of the story is: shop assistant's are bastards, but if you want a nice deep fat fryer you have to endure them.

---

Maybe he was afraid you were going to deep fry him:

"I'll have the "Cannibal" model,please...and twenty quarts of oil."

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Quote: Madame Bitters

I have the motivation to be pleasant, attentive and courteous. Which I always am, of course.

---

That must be your second me MB, do you shake hands with yourselves?

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Quote: victor nicholas

Ms. Pisa

Thats the spirit.

Suggest you return all previously purchased merchandise while you're at it just to show those rotters who's boss.

Victor

---

Victor,

---

Quote: queen mudder

What's equally horrid is obsequious Uriah Heep type of excruciating fawning over customers.

"Goodmorning, Madam, and may I say how priviledged/overjoyed/lucky we are to have your custom again/..." type of bollox.

---

Totally agree.
Nothing worse than going into one of those poxy little mobile phone stores and having some over-eager twats prancing about asking if they can 'help' you.

You ask them a question and they immediately dash away to the back room to find somebody that actually does know something about phones!
They then both return and start talking about a completely different phone that they've been told to promote that week. Bastards.

I refuse to shop in shops any more because of bastards that work there. I buy everything on line and don't speak to anybody ever.

I think I stopped existing 12 months ago.

My personal hates are (in no particular order)

I went into PC world to buy a printer during their Printer Special Sale as they actually were reasonably priced for a change. I found one I liked, and looked at the box; it wasn't clear if there was a USB cable in the box. So I grabbed a name plaque'd moron and asked him. He looked at the box, shrugged and got his supervisor. Who also shrugged.
Me: "Can you open a box and find out?"
Supervisor: "No."
Me: "I'm going to buy it, I just need to know if I need a cable."
Supervisor: "You'll have to buy it first."
Me: "Ok, come with me to the checkout, I'll buy it, open it, and if I need a cable, I'll buy that too."
Supervisor: "You can't open it in the shop."
Me [arching eyebrow]: "So what you're saying is, I've got to buy it, leave the shop, open the box, look for the cable and if I need one, come back inside, and buy the cable?"
Supervisor: "Yes."
Me: "Fuck that."

I was in McDonald's in Liverpool. It was the only place open, and I needed a coffee.
Me: "I'd like just a black coffee please. Nothing else."
Oik: "Would you like something else with that?"
Me: "A cup would be nice."

I've always loathed going in Tesco. They've introduced a policy of "No more than 1 person in front of you at a checkout (express tills excluded)". I get a basket, get the 4 or 5 things I need, and go to a completely empty checkout, as the express checkout has forty people in the queue.
Little Hitler given too much power for his brain capacity: "The express basket tills are down there."
Me: "Use your fucking common sense you moron, this till is empty, there's a queue around the block on that till I'm going on this till or you can just have me chucked out."

I have to go to Asda now. But to be fair, he'd done it to me several times. Perhaps 'moron' was a bit strong. After all, moron's do have a little capacity for rational thought.

Iain

I like to shop in my comfortable, working class clothes. Levi's, loafers, and perhaps something with a collar, but not necessarily that dressy. Most experienced sales fucks will ignore me, but I'll usually draw the sad attention from a trainee who tries, does his best to serve and whom I'll hand a wad of cash or my credit card to close the deal. LOve to buy cars, furniture and appliances that way, sort of thumbing my nose at the professionals who "prequalified me" at the door and chose not to help. Customer service is a pretty basic concept. Do it right, and people will come back.

Unless your head is stuck in Wal Mart pricing mode, than for you, its all about price.

My parents had a builder around today to fix a small hole in the roof.
He turns up slightly later than expected (no surprises) and then - demands tea and toast.
Yes, Tea and toast. He actually said he would not do any work until e had his tea and toast.
My parents do not know the man They never met him before today. But he comes into their home and demands TEA AND TOAST!
BASTARD!!!!!
And they did it. They gave him his tea and toast. They said they were stuck and he was the only one available to get done.
BASTARD!!!!!

And then he goes out to his van and comes back with....a DVD.
A DVD he had made about local history.
And he gets them to buy the fucking DVD!!!!!
BASTARD!!!!!!!

And then...and then......he leaves becasue he says he has to go and get some materials. He's supposedly coming back tomorrow.
THE BASTARD!!!!!!!

The roof is still unfixed and as bad as ever.
I'll be around tomorrow to have a little chat with THE BASTARD!!!!!

I happen to manage a hardware store. So I'm on the other side of the counter to you lot!
One of my favourite memories was when a complete arrogant tool walked in and started the usual 'you're a piece of shit serving scum, I'm better than you, serve me now' thing, as many often do thinking they are far superior to my sort. He wanted a fen trap but was unsure how to set the bugger. I gave him a polite and thoroughly informed demonstration, and even let the trap off by using a broom handle (immitating a rabbit, because of course they are very similar creatures!) Not content with basic English instructions and full on air-stewardess type actions, the fucktard still didn't get it, so snatched the trap from me and proceeded to wrestle with it. Yep, next thing, I hear a shreik as his hand gets snapped shut between two nasty bits of hungry metal.
Rush to help him? No, I chuckled and went back behind the counter. While he was trying to free his hand I helpfully explained that 'imagine if your hand was a rabbit? That would have got the little sod, eh?'
He bought the trap, and wiped up his own blood.
Karma people, it gets you in the end...
I was nicknamed Basil Fawlty after that incident, and I've kept to his ethics of customer service ever since.
Customers, can't live with them, can't help but laugh when they injure themselves. Bastards.