Discussion Forum

Went to church this morning, and there was no wine during the communion.

I guess it's a health thing, what with swine flu and all, and what with most of the congregation belonging to the 'old people' fraternity - can't have them falling ill and the church losing 90% of its revenue stream. But then again, I think most pay upfront, or by direct debit, or something.

But come on. I need wine to wash down my cracker. And, of course, to celebrate Jesus.

Just use a super soaker and squirt it in my mouth, if you don't want to catch my germs.

I always thought that you didn't really catch germs from the chalice, that it didn't pose any more of a risk of germ transfer than, say, grabbing a door handle to open it. (As an aside, I have to note, that I always try to gauge where a handle is least touched if I absolutely have to touch it - especially in the gent's toilet!)

On another note, does anyone else worry about being stopped by the police after taking communion? I can usually still sense the fumes in my breath when I drive home.

...always open the gent's toilet room door with your nose. That way your hands don't get contaminated! If the door opens inwards, well you might have a bit of a problem because it's likey to be broken by the first guy coming in! In that instance, germs will be the least of your problems.
See! Doesn't that make you feel better?

Now, as far as having Jesus Juice on your breath after communion while motoring. just tell the officer what it is and say to him...'Look you big fat jerkoff, can't you see I just came from partying with Jesus?'

But officer I'm not drunk....

....methinks the publisher is praying at the wrong pew....(so to speak)

Bear usually skips the wine and heads right for the holy water....

Father Morse. (Remember, Nun of this and definitely Nun of that!)

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Quote: Morse

....methinks the publisher is praying at the wrong pew....(so to speak)

Bear usually skips the wine and heads right for the holy water....

Father Morse. (Remember, Nun of this and definitely Nun of that!)

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I've been banned from all churches of all denominations! When I attempt to enter bolts of lightning from above cause too much structural damage (aimed at me naturally) hence my worldwide ban!

Thank fucking God (who!) for that!

I'm a cat-lick.

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Quote: Mark Lowton
does anyone else worry about being stopped by the police after taking communion?

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Since the death of the Spanish Inquisition things have eased up a bit with the stop 'n' search/sus cops.

Henry VIII had the right idea when he banished Papism and Papists for interferring in his back yard.

Surprised to hear your confession in the forum, Mark.

John Paul the second had a shitty deal if he wasnt falling on ice or falling out of baths, people were trying to assasinate him.God was watching over him.

regards


PMC

Mark:

Don't mess with God or she will send the Nuns with rulers after your knuckles!

Cheers,
Philbert

Dont "mess" with God LOLOLOL


Sounds sick

sorry


regards

PMC

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Quote: Mark Lowton

Went to church this morning, and there was no wine during the communion.


You get wine? How long has this been going on? We don't get wine? We never got wine, why do we never get wine??
I'd like a bit of wine with my communion. I'll have a word with Father Fitz next time someone dies.

I think I'll start bringing my own, a nice Wolf Blass.

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Quote: Fergus McCarthy
a nice Wolf Blass.

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Ten quid for three Wolf Blass at the Tesco Local this week. Reasonable red merlot, a slightly plonkly chardonnay and the usual catspiss sauvignon. But hey a tenner's a tenner.

This is my body, this is my blood.
Get pissed in memory of me.
Hic.

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Quote: Philbert of Macadamia

Mark:

Don't mess with God or she will send the Nuns with rulers after your knuckles!

Cheers,
Philbert

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...she tried that with Bargis, and had to go back for a YARDSTICK!

"Praise the Lord" were her last words, according to innocent bystanders...

Cardinal 'big bird' Morse

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Quote: Fergus McCarthy

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Quote: Mark Lowton

Went to church this morning, and there was no wine during the communion.


You get wine? How long has this been going on? We don't get wine? We never got wine, why do we never get wine??
I'd like a bit of wine with my communion. I'll have a word with Father Fitz next time someone dies.

I think I'll start bringing my own, a nice Wolf Blass.

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Fergus, me boyo...show up on the other thread once in awhile and enjoy our Sunrise Service....Tequilla Sunrise, you petulatnt artiste!

We could use some new blood over there, or in your case, some of the 'old' blood to spice up the discussion....

Morse, Table 5, temporarily at the door holding down the fort.

Morse:

I was not sure anyone would get that line about Nuns and knuckles!

Cheers,
Philbert

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Quote: Morse

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Quote: Philbert of Macadamia

Mark:

Don't mess with God or she will send the Nuns with rulers after your knuckles!

Cheers,
Philbert

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...she tried that with Bargis, and had to go back for a YARDSTICK!

"Praise the Lord" were her last words, according to innocent bystanders...

Cardinal 'big bird' Morse

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I'll be in later Morse, save me a seat.

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Quote: Fergus McCarthy

I'll be in later Morse, save me a seat.

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...place of honour you grumpy old fart.....


Morse

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Quote: queen mudder

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Quote: Fergus McCarthy
a nice Wolf Blass.

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Ten quid for three Wolf Blass at the Tesco Local this week. Reasonable red merlot, a slightly plonkly chardonnay and the usual catspiss sauvignon. But hey a tenner's a tenner.

This is my body, this is my blood.
Get pissed in memory of me.
Hic.

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Ten squids for 3 bottles of WB?!

Ten Euro each over here QM, I may have to visit the North and stock up.

I will have a club soda

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Quote: Duncan Whitehead

I will have a club soda

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hey, duncan!

i couldn't help but notice your uniform is m.i.a.

and i'm not totally convinced you are 100% sure of where you are right now.....

how many sips of that communion wine did you have today?

btw, you have extremely attractive shoulders!



becca

I can't find you in "Blackpool rock" Dunc, he did say at the start that some names had been changed to protect the not so innocent.

Good book, I enjoyed it.

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Quote: Fergus McCarthy

I can't find you in "Blackpool rock" Dunc, he did say at the start that some names had been changed to protect the not so innocent.

Good book, I enjoyed it.

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I am one of the boxers he talks about at the beginning - the one who went to fight for England - then he changes my name later - also - if you saw him on Danny Dyer's Britain's Hardest Men - there is a photo of me and him after a fight (boxing) hung on his wall in his hall - I was his first ever boxer to fight.

Glad you enjoyed it! He is a really nice guy - next time or if ever I am back in UK then Blackpool he we come!

You heartless cunt ya!

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Quote: smurfette

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Quote: Duncan Whitehead

I will have a club soda

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*******************************************************

hey, duncan!

i couldn't help but notice your uniform is m.i.a.

and i'm not totally convinced you are 100% sure of where you are right now.....

how many sips of that communion wine did you have today?

btw, you have extremely attractive shoulders!



becca

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Thanks - I think. My arms are better - btw, you have extremely attractive teeth whereas the color of your face (in the avatar) is the exact same color as MY teeth!

You looking for a date next Friday? I have nothing planned.

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Quote: Duncan Whitehead

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Quote: smurfette

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Quote: Duncan Whitehead

I will have a club soda

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*******************************************************

hey, duncan!

i couldn't help but notice your uniform is m.i.a.

and i'm not totally convinced you are 100% sure of where you are right now.....

how many sips of that communion wine did you have today?

btw, you have extremely attractive shoulders!



becca

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Thanks - I think. My arms are better - btw, you have extremely attractive teeth whereas the color of your face (in the avatar) is the exact same color as MY teeth!

You looking for a date next Friday? I have nothing planned.

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i got a bit tired of the "blue" jokes, so i decided to try a change of color for awhile....

(i like to change up my forum avatar frequently, which seems to be a not uncommon practice here.)

i used to have a collection of over 200 different smiley face items; the giggling smiley dolls are my favorites.

were you seriously a boxer? if so, i am very impressed. my brother in law is a former pro wrestler, but there is a lot of choreography involved in wrestling exhibitions. but boxing is just about as real as it gets.

as an aside, i just discovered that my great grandfather was named in honor of the same man that mohammed ali was originally named after, cassius marcellus clay. (my grandpa cash was cherokee indian, and one wicked fighter in his own right. he joined the union army at 13 to fight in the civil war. he was from new york. he fought against the west virginia side of my family.)

technically, i suppose a red avatar might be more appropriate, but j-man has staked his claim on the color with his pecker pepper. there is no way to top that one!

anyway, i always have time for you, duncan.

i'll meet you over at the oasis, ok?

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Not quite the Nirvana smiley, prefer you in blue actually!