Ed Miliband - My Fake Diary

Monday, 3 September 2012

Ed Balls and I may spend half our time at each other's throats, but at last we have found something to unite us.

Even our contempt for David Cameron is dwarfed by our shared loathing of Labour's bald-pated ex-Finance Minister Liam Byrne, who famously left a note for his Coalition successors in the Treasury saying: 'I'm afraid there is no money. Kind regards - and good luck.'

Labour spokesman quoted: "If the two Eds fall out, we tell them about Baldemort Byrne's latest disaster and they laugh at the pompous twerp's machinations."