Quit-It-You-Idiot is a 25 minute presentation that knows just how to abuse and cajole you into giving up your bad habit. Our cassette is read by an automaton, a robotic voice that is authoratative, patronising and beyond reproach. Our robotic voice, nicknamed Angel-Cakes, will lull you into a fascinating world where you will be continually and sometimes brutally abused for your silly addictions and break that dirty habit.
Hypnotherapy has been proven by scientists to be the best, if not only, way to quit smoking effectively. Some companies will claim you can slowly reduce your nicotine intake by inhaling through ridiculous filters; some will say that patches and gum are the way to stop you from smoking. Heck, some even say that drinking herbal tea and massaging your chakra every day will stop those cramps, pains and longings.
Quit-It-You-Idiot is industry approved* and will, with absolute guarantee, stop your cravings in an instant.
The science behind the theory is simple but effective. By listening to the tape, you'll begin by writhing in anger at being so brutally abused by a robot who knows nothing of your pain and suffering. You'll want to fight back until your brain "clicks" and you'll realise there's really very little point being angry at a robot. After all, the robot doesn't understand what it's saying. In fact, it's probably a really nice robot that you'd happily have hanging around with you when you're drinking with your buddies. Soon enough you'll be saying to yourself: "You know, I'm all turned around on this smoking business. I mean, if Angel-Cakes can do without, so can I!"
Our cassette, listened to by some celebrities who we are unable to mention for legal reasons**, is available to buy only through this website for the incredibly low-low price of $40.00.
Wait a minute, did I say $40.00?! I meant $20.00.
No, no, that's crazy talk. OK, OK, I'm giving it away now for just $10.00 plus your choice of free gift from our selection of incredible offers, each retailing at $75.00 in most stores.
Buy Quit-It-You-IdiotQuit-It-You-Idiot can help you quit anything!: smoking, women, drinking, men, dwarves, unnecessary castling in chess, poetry...you name it, Quit-It-You-Idiot can help you stop.
* is, of course, NOT industry approved
** the legal reason being that this is simply untrue