Allies to use weaponry made from pork

Funny story written by ExiledRoyal

Monday, 6 June 2011

image for Allies to use weaponry made from pork
Death chops

Recent rhetoric emerging from Tripoli exhorts Islamic fundamentalists to keep fighting, as dying in battle for their God is the greatest honour.

MI6 have been working hard to find a solution to this depth of extremism, and they have come up with the idea of weapons made entirely of pork.

Spokespersonnage James Bond explained, "They believe in sacrifice, but they also think they'll go to hell if they have pork in their stomach. The solution? Pork bullets."

We understand that there have been overnight raids by Apache helicopters, literally carpet-bombing Gadaffi's compound with pork chops. Bombing has also been backed up by specially adapted machine guns which can fire spicy sausages at up to 700 rounds a minute.

"We're calling the Apaches 'Helichopters'," Bond says. "When there's even a sniff of pork in the sky all Libyan fighters are nowhere to be seen."

However, it hasn't all gone smoothly as there are reports of cases where Libyan rebels have been caught up in friendly fire. Wikileaks have revealed footage of mortars lobbing pork loins into a village in a case of misteaken (sic) identity. And in an attempt to emulate suicide bomber's methods, SAS operatives have caused terror by running into local mosques with 20 pounds of pork sausages strapped to their chests.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more