Written by Eurocleese De Zouch

Saturday, 21 November 2009

image for Former SS Eugenics Officer Becomes World's Oldest Registered Childminder
Van Heppe - Mr H was a nice chap...

Marlon Van Heppe, aged 89, and a former Nazi SS Eugenics Officer, has just become the oldest living childminder.

Van Heppe, who got the job in a creche in Stuttgart was responsible for the implementation of the Nazi Eugenics scheme during world war two.

He was recently interviewed for German paper "Das Bild", where he said "I got on quite well with Adolf...we were good pals, although Himmler was a bit odd..he would have to urinate in each corner of every room we went in..we thought that he liked marking his territory".

He continues...

"I am really relishing this new role. Some people say that I'm too old to do this sort of thing, but underneath this wrinkly suit, I am a spritely young man".

"I will instill discipline into these children..they will not obey me..I'm not too keen on the brown, black or yellow ones..I'll probably just end up putting them in cages..my record is getting 28 of them in a 3ft by 3ft cage..I was quite proud of that".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Kids, Nazi

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