Written by Valmerk

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

image for United Nations Set To Layoff Monaco
This is the entire country. What were you expecting?

With the world economy in such a desperate state, the United Nations is facing the idea of having to layoff one of its very own, with the teeny tiny country of Monaco as the most likely first candidate.

We recently discussed this layoff possibility with a high ranking UN official. She stated, "Well, yes, yes, we are considering laying off Monaco. It's a logical decision. We hired it way back in 1993 through a third rate placement service. Overall, it seems pretty clueless and it will probably take it at least a month after we lay it off before it figures out what's going on. According to my colleagues, it hasn't done anything meaningful at all. We don't even know where Monaco is. It could be somewhere in the south of France all we care. For crying out loud, our parking lot is bigger than this country. Well, we can't afford a parking lot right now, but if we could it would be a lot bigger than Monaco."

Nearby hardworking coworker Germany noted, "That stuck up rich thing, it's always going on Facebook, updating its profile and taking meaningless quizzes. If it's not doing that, it's staring out the window or gossiping with France. You should have seen the list of personal phone calls it made from the office last month. It was longer than the UN's hourly list of empty threats. Monaco will interrupt important meetings to talk about the weather and what the cafeteria is serving for lunch. It's always bragging about all of the fancy things it does and where it's heading off to for the next hoiday, like Monaco. We don't know where Monaco is, but Monaco talks about going there all the time and we're all sick of it."

When asked how Monaco will be able cope with such shocking news, the UN official stated, "Not to worry. It has plenty of tax free money to get it through. Everyone is jealous of it and hates it, except for France, and we all know France doesn't count. Monaco won't be missed. I think it even hates itself. We're not tyrants. If it gets in a serious bind we'll send it North Korea's e-mail address."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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