Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 13 July 2007

image for Tallest Man In The World Gets Married To The Smallest Woman
Oh, the mysticism!

There was much cause for celebration in northern China this week, when the world's tallest man married his childhood sweetheart, who just happens to be the tiniest woman on the planet.

Bao Xishun, 54, who stands nearly 4 metres tall, tied the knot with Xia Shujian, 29, who is the daughter of one of his fellow goat herdsmen.

He is a distant relation of Mongolian warlord Genghis Khan, whose hordes of warriors ravaged the plains of Asia, the Middle East and Europe in the 13th century. The barbarous, stinking army never washed, and Khan, himself, was renowned for his matted mass of hair. Mrs Xishun, at just 0.79 metres tall, could easily have secluded herself in Khan's tangled mane.

In a bizarre coincidence, EastEnders Keith Miller has a dog called Genghis, and both he and the dog have clotted hair not dissimilar to the iconic military leader.

Last year, Mr Xishun achieved worldwide notoriety when he managed to reach inside a dolphin's stomach and disarm an atomic bomb planted there by the KGB on behalf of the Dalai Lama.

The wedding ceremony was attended by all 250 residents of the northern Chinese canton of Chifeng, and was televised across the whole nation.

The Chinese Tourist Board in Beijing have said that, later this year, travellers will be able to see the couple "in action" on their Tallest Man/Smallest Woman Tour, which will also take in various polluted cities around China.

Terry Cotter of the CTB said:

"He big man! She ritter rady!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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