The Most Boring Day In History

Funny story written by ExiledRoyal

Sunday, 16 August 2020

image for The Most Boring Day In History
The Battle for Boredom continues

A Cambridge computer scientist has determined April 11th 1954 to be 'the most boring day in history'.

William Tunstall-Pedoe, professor at a search engine project called True Knowledge, set up a database that indexes more than 300 million facts.

William Tunstall-Pedoe said, "It holds more than 300 million facts, a big percentage of which tie events, people and places to points in time. We wrote a script to scan all the days from the beginning of the 20th century. After starting and stopping, and starting and stopping, in the end, it answered the question: What was the most boring day in history?"

The most boring day in history was April 11, 1954. On that day, only three things happened in the entire world. There was a general election in Belgium, an Oldham Athletic footballer called Jack Shufflebotham died, and a wasp stung a man somewhere in Djibouti.

In these days of quarantine, Prof Tunstall-Pedoe is expecting that record to be challenged. "Many people are so bored of being bored that they've become doubly bored. Terminally, existentially bored. It's the perfect storm for a boring pandemic. I mean, I was talking to one woman who was learning a dictionary."

Other activities to try to alleviate boredom have been catalogued. Some people have been blindfolding themselves, trying to work out the colour of paint by its smell alone. Or going into clothes shop changing rooms and shouting that you've run out of toilet paper. Many people say that they're so bored, they're just waiting for the weekend to do nothing in.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more