Man Spends Evening At Another Dull-As-Fuck Wedding Party

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 27 February 2020

image for Man Spends Evening At Another Dull-As-Fuck Wedding Party
There was little sparkle at the gathering

A man who felt as if he'd seen and been through it all before, was subjected to another terrible ordeal on Saturday night, as he was made to accompany his wife to a wedding party in the Battambang commune of Tapon.

Moys Kenwood, 56, would have preferred to have stayed at home and done anything else, but his wife was adamant, and, knowing the futility of having an alternative opinion, he remained silent, and off they went, just before 8pm.

On arrival, they noticed that the party was already in, what, in these parts, passes for 'full swing'. Several people were dancing around a circular table (a round piece of board placed over a rusty metal frame), and loud local music was pumping out of six-feet-high speakers.

But the music was terrible.

The 'dancing' involved walking around the table, in a swaying fashion, whilst twisting the wrists and fingers in a strange way.

The Kenwoods sat down, and Mr. Kenwood spent the next three hours looking at his watch every five minutes, tiring his eyes in the process. And his brain.

At around 11:15pm, his wife finally lost any last vestige of patience with her husband's disgusted looks, and told him:

"get on the motorbike, and let's get out of here!"

Riding pillion, the Englishman said:

"Well, that's three hours of my life I'm never going to get back!"

His wife squeezed the motorbike's handlebars very tightly, as you would with someone's throat.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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