Russian president, Vladimir Putin, has followed up his recent boast about Russian prostitutes being the world's finest by claiming that his country's sexual deviants are also without equal.
In a televised statement last night, Mr Putin said: "When it comes to sheer, unfettered depravity, our heroic perverts leave the rest of the world standing.
"There are no nauseating depths to which our Russian sickos will not sink to gratify their foul lusts.
"Their utter depravity knows absolutely no bounds.
"They unflinchingly indulge in troilism, pederasty, extreme bondage, scatology, bestiality, and necrophiliac cannibalism, to name but a few.
"However, unlike President Trump, they do draw the line at 'watersports'. There are limits after all."
Mr Putin's claim is set to upset a number of British public schools, who can boast some of the most twisted deviants in history down the years, including Scott of the Antarctic, Hugh Grant, Murray Walker, Piers Morgan, and Great British Bake Off stalwart, Mary Berry.