His Holiness, The Dalai Lama, shocked Buddhists across the world last night, by telling journalists that he's "had enough of that f******g cretin, Donald Trump," and vowed to "beat his bloody head in" at the earliest opportunity.
Speaking at a press conference in the Himalayas, a clearly furious Lama told newsmen: "His latest bullshit assertion that there were aeroplanes in the War of Independence was the straw that broke the camel's back for me.
"I was actually at prayer when I heard it on the BBC World Service, and became so furious, I smashed up my prayer wheel and threw it at the temple cat's head.
"I'm now praying he'll ask for an audience with me, so that I can stick the boot into the fat orange fuck, and give this weapons-grade asshole the spanking he so richly deserves."
At this point a female temple handmaiden rushed over and restrained the raging living deity, telling him to, "leave it," and that, "he's not worth it."
This latest outburst comes just a week after the Archbishop of Canterbury hit out at former White House Press Secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, telling reporters that he'd "dearly love to boot her right in the growler."