Octogenarian Passenger Claims TSA Agent Caused Inflight Wet Dream

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Sunday, 21 November 2010

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Octogenarian Passenger Claims TSA Agent Caused Inflight Wet Dream
Geezer Sues TSA

The furor over the more agressive "pat downs" initiated by Home Land Security Agents has reached a higher din today when 83 year old Gerald LaMonica of Queens, New York said that when he refused to have his party parts desecrated by an infernal body scan apparatus at LaGuardia Airport, he was told he had to submit to a pat down.

Mr. Lamonica, who claims that he has had no sex since his wife Verna passed away 13 years ago, said that he had no choice but to allow what he called "a virtual hand job" by a buxom black lady in her forty's who seemed determined to "give me an erection."

When he told her to go faster or he would miss his plane, she seemed nonplussed, he said. Unable to finish the job off because other passengers were complaining that they would miss their flights, the agent backed off and told LaMonica he could board his flight to Chicago.

Mr. LaMonica claims that he fell asleep in his seat dreaming of this encounter when he was rudely awakened by a flight attendant who told him that passengers were complaining about his moaning and groaning.

Thoroughly embarrassed by all this, the 83 year old gentleman is suing TSA for $1,000,000.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more