Don't Ask, Don't Tell: Swishbuckling Seaman Proposes To Admiral Dinkover

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Thursday, 14 October 2010

image for Don't Ask, Don't Tell: Swishbuckling Seaman Proposes To Admiral Dinkover
Till Death Do We Part

Already we are seeing ramifications due to the ruling by a California Federal Judge stating that the "dont ask, don't tell" provision is unconstitutional.

Yesterday, on board the USS Ballsack, Seaman 1st Class Julius "My Boy" Pfeffer asked Rear Admiral Hyman Dinkover for his hand in marriage. Admiral Dinkover, a Naval Academy graduate, was selected for admiral rank even though everyone in the Pentagon knew he was as queer as a three dollar bill. Rumor has it that at a Christmas party held at the Pentagon back in 2006, Dinkover came dressed in nothing more than a leather thong with his admiral shoulder boards flapping on either side of his perky buttocks.

Seaman Pfeffer, who had first met Dinkover at a gay bar considered "safe" by military personnel, rose from Seaman Recruit to Seaman 2nd Class in a period of 13 weeks. Although this normally takes three to four years, Pfeffer's Division Officer didn't think it was unusual because he had a letter from Admiral Dinkover touting the young man's credentials.

And now, because the two men can openly live together in the Admiral's Quarters without fear of being dismissed from the Navy, they may live happly ever after. And it will also free up a bunk in the enlisted men's quarters.

However, this story may have a sad ending. They could be subject to Court Martial because officers are not allowed to have relationships with enlisted personnel.

How archaic!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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