BP, in a desperate attempt to stem the oil spillage gushing towards the US coastline, have hired Katie Price, aka. Jordan, in a last ditch attempt to prevent ecological disaster.
Price is reputed to have accepted a 5 million dollar proposal to be lowered to the sea floor in order to stick the 17 inch breakage into her vagina, thus stemming the out-of-control spillage.
"I felt this was something I could contribute and has nothing to do with the cash. I mean, I've had all sorts of things stuck into my flue, so how bad can this get?" she offered.
BP have said that they have another seven slappers in the pipeline if Jordan isn't able to take the pressure.