Biden Compares 9/11 To His Kitchen Fire

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Monday, 11 September 2023

image for Biden Compares 9/11 To His Kitchen Fire
I Feel Your Pain

BILLINGSGATE POST: In an emotional speech commemorating the 22nd anniversary of 9/11, President Biden glanced away from his Teleprompter. Drawing his microphone next to his lips, he whispered:

“I’d be a lying, dog-faced pony soldier if I didn’t tell you that I know how it feels to lose everything.”

In attempting to relate to the epic attack that forever changed the United States, Biden brought up dealing with lightning striking his home and causing a small fire in his kitchen. As he told it from the podium, he claimed the fire at his house almost resulted in the death of his cat and the loss of his beloved ‘67 Corvette.

“Each year, on this day, as the Nation commemorates the painful memory of 9/11, I am reminded that, but for the timely action of the Fire Department, I too might be reading off the list the name of my departed cat and Corvette.”

“I’m going to bed. God bless the United States of America.”

Dr. Slim: “Amazing! The guy has a way of relating everything to himself.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dr. Dude. I find comfort in his words.”


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more