Texas Republican Legislators Vote Themselves Out

Funny story written by Ryan McPherson

Tuesday, 9 November 2021

image for Texas Republican Legislators Vote Themselves Out
The Texas State Capitol

Austin, Texas - In a stunning display of ineptitude, Republican members of the Texas state legislature voted themselves out of office. The unprecedented move left surprised Democrats in total charge of both legislative bodies.

“Not sure how they did it,” said Democratic state senator Al Ortiz of Houston. “We’re not complaining, but we sure are surprised.”

Democratic members of both the Senate and the House watched in stunned amusement as Republican leaders announced the result of voting. The vote was unanimous and Lt. Governor Dan Patrick adjourned the session, announcing that all Republican State Senators had vacated their elected positions. Across the hall, Republican House Speaker Dade Phelan made a similar announcement. Republican senators and representatives silently left both chambers, ignoring reporters.

“I couldn’t believe what I was seeing,” said Democratic Senator Tiffany Sullivan (College Station.) “I mean, I heard Senator Renfroe introduce the bill. It quickly passed through committee, and they brought it to the Senate floor minutes later.”

“Why would they do that?” said a spectator in the House gallery. “Republicans have a stranglehold on Texas politics. And they just give it up, just like that?”

“Nowhere in the Texas Constitution is there any mention of members vacating their positions via a vote,” said El Paso Rep. Inez Rodriguez. They can retire or just quit, but this is kind of mind-boggling that the Republicans just voted themselves out of power.”

“Republicans make up their own rules as they go,” said Rep. Ortiz. “We’ve come to expect this kind of lunacy from them. This unexpected move is a bit over the top, even for Republicans. But, ok.”

“That’s it. The Republicans are done in the State House,” said Democratic Representative Arlene Williams (San Marcos.) “We still can’t quite believe it.”

“Anyway,” said Senator Sullivan. “We Democrats are ready and able to restore normalcy and Democracy to the Texas Legislature and the State of Texas.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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