Friend explains the meaning of "Cuomosexual" to Chris Cuomo, and Cuomo likes it!

Funny story written by Earthvessel

Saturday, 30 October 2021

image for Friend explains the meaning of "Cuomosexual" to Chris Cuomo, and Cuomo likes it!
CNNs Chris Cuomo reportedly is very pleased with Cuomosexuals!

Chris Cuomo has been holding a grudge for a good two years at the people who coined the term "Cuomosexual", as well as those who repeated the term.

A close friend of the prime time CNN news anchor. who asked not to be named, said Cuomo vehemently disapproved of the term until very recently. He went on to explain that Cuomo "had no idea" what the term meant but was apparently convinced "it wasn't good".

"I guess he thought they were calling him gay or something like that" said the friend.

According to the friend, who has known Cuomo for several years, the two of them hang out "most weekend nights" dividing their time between bar hoping out on the town and making prank calls to sports talk shows. Cuomo even has established the alias "Ned from Queens" and is known as a regular on The Fan. New York's WFAN.

The topic arose the past weekend at a Brooklyn night club after a female patron approached by Cuomo, jokingly asked him if he encountered many "Cuomosexuals" in his travels. Reportedly Cuomo became angry at the question and walked away from the woman in a huff.

A short time later, Cuomo's friend "gingerly broached the topic" with Cuomo, and explained that it meant simply individuals who were attracted to a Cuomo. The friend said that once Cuomo understood the actual meaning, "he lightened up considerably" and actually "became giddy with joy for a while".

"He kept talking about it the rest of the night! I reminded him about the woman he'd walked away from, and he went looking for her, but she had left the club. So he started walking up to every woman in sight asking each of them if they were Cuomosexuals!"

The responses were mostly unfavorable but Cuomo was undaunted. His friend suggested they call a sports talk show, but Cuomo refused saying "No, I have no use for Ned from Queens tonight. But I do think Ned is a Cuomosexual!" a beaming Cuomo joked.

A few drinks later, Cuomo reportedly took off his shirt and pranced around the dance floor before jumping up on the bar yelling out and asking patrons "who here is a Cuomosexual? I'm a Cuomosexual!

It was at that point that Cuomo and his friend were asked to leave the club and not return. His friend said Cuomo did not seem too bothered by the ouster. "He got quiet for a short time but as he stood waiting for the cab, he obviously started thinking about the Cuomosexual thing again and got a big smile on his face again! He was still smiling as the cab pulled away."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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