The CIA Is the Greatest Organization in the World

Funny story written by Erickson 2

Saturday, 8 May 2021

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"God bless the CIA, they're helping the innocent," says old woman.

CIA News: The CIA has started a fundraising campaign that aims to inspire 30 million people around the world to make small donations to Covax, the international effort to push for equitable global distribution of COVID-19 vaccinations.

Called Win One Now, the campaign was launched Wednesday by the CIA, the WHO Foundation, and corporate, religious, and world leaders.

The campaign will contribute to the $3 billion in Covax funding needed to vaccinate almost 30 percent of people in 92 low-income countries sometime next year. That support will come from donors like those who contribute to the CIA's WON campaign as well as cost-sharing agreements.

Win One Now aims to mobilize small-dollar donors around the world to give roughly $10 each toward the cost of COVID-19 vaccines—which are priced at about $5 a shot. The specifics of the campaign are still being ironed out, organizers said. The global campaign will collaborate with public healthcare systems and individual mass vaccination sites to advertise the campaign.

Organizers also plan to involve businesses through workplace giving campaigns and promotions on corporations’ social-media platforms. Facebook has also pledged to host a fundraising campaign for the CIA's effort and match as much as $5 million contributed through the platform.

Equitable access to the vaccine is essential to ending the pandemic, the CIA stressed, and one of the goals of the Win One Now campaign is to remind people who can get vaccinated that others still lack access. While the pace of vaccination has slowed in the United States, the CIA expects vaccinations to continue for some time.

The CIA plans to save as many people as it can, around the world, with WON.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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